Friday, December 01, 2006

Friday 55& Da Count

FRIDAY 55



The breast* gripped her skull in its claws. She felt each claw pierce her skin, muscles, and bone as the wretched creature peeled back each layer seeking her brain. One inhumane hand pinned her head, the other tore at the flesh. Finally the beast sank its fangs deep and began its slow feast. Another fucking migraine.

*Update 9:35am...Sheri very correctly pointed out that I said a mammary organ gripped my head. It should read beast. So much for my ability to spellcheck. I'm leaving it that way though because it made me laugh when she pointed it out and I needed a laugh. I do however have to address the typo because it just fugs up the whole mood of the 55. Now that I've spent more than 55 words explaining that one word I return you to the regularly scheduled blog...


DA COUNT
Yeah, I'm in a lovely mood. I've been trying to slay that beast since Monday. Every time I think it's gone it comes roaring back. I am NOT a nice person when I have a migraine and when the bastard hangs on for days on end I'm worse. I've taken $75 worth of meds this week and spent $58 at the chiropractor trying to kill the monster. Does anyone else find it obscene to spend that much money on a headache and still have it hanging on?


Add to this a couple of PMSing teenage girls who can't do a damned thing without being argued into it. What I wouldn't give to be able to say, 'Would you please (fill in the blank with whatever minor chore needs doing or a simple request to tiger balm the muscles that are partly triggering this mess)' and have it done without needing to defend the request...just a smile and sweet acquiescence....


It's hunting season so Mr. Lime is largely absent, I understand..meat on the table and all. I am thankful he provides in that way. But oh, did I mention that Calypso has declared herself a vegetarian this week? She's talked on and off about it for a couple months. She chose this week to decide in full and take a stand. Kid, you're lucky I'm upright and cooking anything at all this week. I'm not revamping this week's menu. Deal with it.


Tired of my whining yet? Wondering how on earth this has anything to do with counting what you've got instead of bemoaning what you haven't got?


Well, on April 16, 2006 my surgeon told me I might not ever get full use of my hand back. At that time I couldn't even feel 3 of my fingers (the middle finger being the worst), let alone move them. Being the smart ass I am and having most inhibitions stripped away by the lingering effects of anesthesia, I quipped to him that I'd know things had healed properly when I could flip the bird.


So this week my count is that Janita is healed enough to express exactly how I feel this week (still working on her though, we have some more progress to make).



Sorry, I told you I'm not very nice when migraines get me. In spite of that, I hope everyone has a nice weekend.


*UPDATE 2:43pm: Susie found and sent this image to me stating she had found the monster breast that was crushing my skull. Terrifying isn't it??? By the way, it's her birthday today so feel free to go wish her a happy birthday.

subart177

34 comments:

Breazy said...

awww Lime , I hope the migraine goes away soon . I hate those things ! My prayers are with you girl ! Janita looks good ! Have a great weekend!

Sheri said...

I hope you feel better soon. However, I had to laugh out loud becuase the first line says "The breast gripped her skull in its claws." I can only picture this giant breast squeezing your head! lol

Anonymous said...

breazy, thanks hon

sheri, lmao, you're right!!! oh hell, i'm leaving it in for humor

Anonymous said...

..With eyes closed..whispering softly..serenity now, serenity now. Feel better soon Michelle, sorry honey!!

Anonymous said...

Migraine? Yikes! You might not want to read my post today then! You need more like a gentle scalp/temple massage, not tugging on your hair!

Hope it goes away and you feel better soon. Take care lime :-)

steve said...

Hey I think if I had something pounding in my head that hurt that bad I would not be so nice either!!

Breast..........:-}

Anonymous said...

Dear Lime,

Just working on the mental image of your head being gripped by a giant boob makes me laugh.

Sounds like you need a few yourself (laughs, you are otherwise equiped). Sorry to hear of the head pain and I send good wishes.

P.

Moosekahl said...

It must be in the air...I got slammed with a migraine late Wednesday night and it hung on all day yesterday and isn't completely gone away this morning. I have taken only about $65 worth of medicine but I'm booking a $50 massage for Sunday. I am trying to console myself my reminding myself that I use to have them four to five times a month and now I get a really "good" one once every our to five months. Hope you feel better soon! I feel your pain.

Logophile said...

Aaaaaw
So sorry to hear it
Nice bird though, awesome!

barefoot_mistress said...

Oh man...my first reaction to your migraines is to attach a banana peel to your forehead, then I realised....there I go, trying to kill her again, and again, and again by pasting the banana!

I hope you are better soon, Lime, and if Janita can still flip the bird, then she's done her job well!

Thanks so much for your bday post too! Now excuse me, George is calling...

Blither said...

My first thought was.. Oh I read breast.. silly me. It's beast. Then I realized I read it right. DUH- Can you say BLITHER!

Tan Lucy Pez said...

One of my daughters has migraines. She also has teen daughters (16-yr.-old twins). She claims that they fight, but I know that they are perfect.

Nice bird. Hope the migraine is soon gone.

snavy said...

Yeah, I was thinking, um ... a breast with claws??? How do you fit that into a bra???

Without realizing it, you also participated in "fuck you friday" - kudos!!

RennyBA said...

Sorry about the migraines of course, but then again you have a damn good way to express yourself! Wish i was there to ease your pain - my co-workers say I have magic fingers:-)
Wish you a wonderful weekend too!

Anonymous said...

I had breast reduction surgery 9 yrs. ago and I always wondered where those things ended up... Now I know.

I used to tell people that I figured they'd washed up on the Jersey shore somewhere with other medical waste, but I'll be damned if that doesn't look like the desert... Hmmmm? Whaddya know?

barefoot_mistress said...

LMAO it must be Margies breast!!!

Run its gonna squirt!

Seamus said...

HEY!!! Don't slay the breast! Just sayin'! ;)

m said...

Oh.My deepest sympathies. I have migraines too. And I can so relate. You can take a pharmacy full of pills and the headache is still there.

Here are some things I have been told which can help reduce or prevent migraine pain:
warm baths...wearing gloves and socks(warm extremeties is the theme here)...taking feverfew or valerian(herbs)....
and here is a tip which is supposed to stop the migraine once it starts: masturbation.
I am not kidding. That is what I have heard. Look it up on the internet.

Anonymous said...

Now I can't get the image of a giant mammary gripping your head. I shall have nightmares. Bummer about the migraine, I soooo know what you're going through. Have a good weekend and take a look at what I'll be doing this weekend....hehehe.

BTW that pic that susie found, is it from that Woddy Allen film AYEWTKASBWATA?

lecram sinun said...

Sorry, I'm late. Migranes suck but am so gladto see Janita getting so much more expressive! :)

Yikes! Did that giant tit escape from the set of "The Prisoner"???

Anonymous said...

here's what I've found REALLY works for a migraine...

KFarmer said...

Hope you're feeling better today- Good job on the finger! Keep working it sweet- hopefully pretty soon it will be in full flight...:)

Anonymous said...

I hope you are feeling better! I never had to fight the migraine beast, but some family members are afflicted by it, so I know how ugly it can be. Throw every medicine at it you can get your hand ...eh...Janita on. Glad she has widened her range of movements :).

Anonymous said...

Hey, I do recognize that giant tit, Woody Allen's Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex, but......Ha! I DO know my TITS.

barefoot_mistress said...

I like Ms idea Lime! Let us know if it works.

Anonymous said...

The monster breast, LOL...you have such a wayyyy with words.

Your count look like an FUF/Da Count combined.

:-)

Good Count and 55 !!

-stealth.

Nancy Drew said...

UM dat's gotta be the nastiest prosthetic I've EVER seen, Miss Lime!! Whoever was thinkin' of dat one, I'd shoo them away from that one!!!

Sheesh!!!

Good progress on that finger (the communicative one) and hope the migraine's gone, Limey!!

airplanejayne said...

.gawd, what a boob you are.....

:0

Top cat said...

lime I'm so sorry to hear you are suffering and in pain. It is the type of pain which can completely drain one of all energy both mentally and physically.
Good to see you are well enough to flip the bird.

I've been a vegetarian for 30 years so if you'd like some ideas on what things are good and which ones taste like dog food, send me an email and I'll offer up some suggestions.
A lot of stuff can be bought at any retail grocery store.
She has to be careful to get the right amino acids to supplement the loss of meat in her diet.

hope you are feeling better.
hugs
tc

Mel said...

lol love the mammoth mammory Susie found you and the spelling error!! Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself then...

;)

As a migraine sufferer myself, I find it rather disturbing that $200 will only buy me 8 pills.
However, there is a cheaper, daily alternative.. read this article
Preventative Migraine Medicine
and talk to your doc.
I'm glad I did.
I still get migraines (bot not as frequently and disturbingly long as before) but finding the right migraine preventative also brought up another health issue of mine which was triggering the headaches.
Whoda thunkit.
Hang in there hun!

Moosekahl said...

Okay..the little headache on Thursday was just a teaser for what I woke up with today. Ugh...like Mel I don't get them as often any more but today laid me up good...puking and everything. Thank God for meds!

Anonymous said...

I like big boobs but even I draw the line. ;)

That's from Woody Allen's Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex; But Were Afraid to Ask, yes?

barefoot_mistress said...

LOL!!!!! I brought a towelllll!!!

Fortress Guinness said...

from one of my favourite bits of cinema ever...!!! but then it would be...wouldn't it Lime...??? i can see you rolling your eyes right now my dear...hee hee...

glad about the migraines going...i presume you've considered reiki...???

anyway...hugs and kisses xxx