Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Where Logo, M, and Lecram Interview Lime

Ok, I am either a complete masochist who likes to be grilled by other people, or a total narcissist who thinks she is so fascinating people are dying to interview her. Naw, more like the folks who I volunteered to be interviewed by are such interesting people I just wanted to know what kinds of questions they would ask. They did not disappoint me. I hope you all enjoy.

Logo took the first crack at me....

1. You get to re-order the phone book (alphabetical listings are like, soooo done). How will you list people?

I think first we need to sort people by height, then natural hair color, then marital status, and finally familiarity with Monty Python and Princess Bride. Short, married redheads who can recite the movies by heart would be listed first (and just to be chivalrous, if there are men and women of equal height, same marital status and able to recite, the woman will be listed first). Tall, single brunettes lacking in either experience or sense of humor will be last. Average height blondes dating seriously who titter at Miracle Max will fall somewhere in the middle.

2. You can either have a motorcycle or a trip to Trinidad for two weeks. Which do you choose and why?

You are evil. I could choose the motorcycle and then drive to Venezuela but that last 7 miles of water to cross to Trinidad is problematic. It is spring and the time when my fancy turns to motorcycles...they are all in bloom and I wanna riiiiiiiiiiiide!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You do realize the lust in my heart right now don't you?

At the same time, I have been saving my pennies for a long time to try to get everyone back to Trinidad for a visit. The last time I went was by myself and I promised the kids I would not go back until I could afford to take them all with me. Diana is getting older and time is running short. I think for now I will choose Trinidad so I can see friends I dearly miss and make good on the promise to the kids. I so want to see it all anew through their eyes. The girls were 4 and 2 when they were there last and Isaac has never been there.

3. However in the world did you, of all people end up with such smartmouthed kids, hmm? Did you evidence this trait in your youth as well? Well, duh! Tell us some new stories!
We'll chalk my smartmouthed kids up to a fulfillment of the 'Mother's Curse' (I hope you have one just like you). New stories...hhmm ok....

I started kindergarten when I was 4 but I could already read. I thought the books the kindergarten teacher chose for story time were horridly dull and the way she read them bored me to tears. I also noticed the other kids looked kind of bored too. Being the proactive, problem-solving little Lime I was, I decided to offer my services. 'Mrs. M, I don't like these stories. I want to bring one of my books in to read.' Mrs. M (who I swear was the inspiration for every bee hived, horn-rimmed glasses wearing woman in The Far Side) smiled sweetly and said she'd look at my book and read it if she thought it was appropriate. I said, 'Oh no! I can read it to the class myself!' More sweetly condescending smiles as I continued insisting I could do this and WOULD do this. I eventually won and consequently gave a rousing reading of Go, Dog, Go!...I mean how can anyone NOT enjoy the climax of the wild treetop dog party?? And the final resolution of the flirtations between the insecure doggy diva with myriad hats and the entirely nonplussed boy dog who finally gives into her charms.....the subplot is brilliant.

4. You get an open ended trip around the world, where will you stop?

Well, since it is open ended and seems not to have a time limit I'd grave, after I have seen everything.

5. What do you think are the main differences of online friends and 3-D ones?
This is an interesting question, one you could spend a LOT of time on. The obvious answer is that online friends are kind of stuck in 2 dimensions. As such, it is easier to keep things back that you don't want to share...simply avoid going online or don't mention the things you don't want to discuss. You've got no body language or facial expression to betray your secrets. At the same time, I've experienced and known of people telling things to online friends they might not ever be willing to say to a 3-D friend, lover, or spouse.

I've also seen a lot of transience in the online world. People come and go at alarming rates. You think you've got a good friendship that will last and the person simply disappears or decides to move on. It's very easy to do online. Just walk away and you don't have to deal with any fallout from your behavior. Although, when someone proves real friendship over time, I think it is every bit as real as a face to face friendship. I've had online friends support me in ways I never thought possible and I hope I've been able to return that as well.

M took the second crack at me...

1) If you had to choose, would you be small like a Borrower or large like Gulliver? Please explain.
I like this question, it makes me smile. I think I'd probably go with Borrower small. Every day things would seem like more of an adventure. I could go undetected more easily. Tiny bits of food would be a feast and scraps of fabric would be all that's needed to make clothing. It seems like it would be easier to accommodate than being a giant.

2) If you went on a long trip with someone, what is the one thing that person could do to annoy you? And how could that person make you totally forgive him or her at the end of the day?

Oh my goodness, I could write a series of posts on this question alone. In 1987 I travelled with 10 other people from Pennsylvania to California. Nine were on bicycles and 2 of us were in a support car (I was a driver, the cook, laundress, and procurer of lodgings). It took 65 days to make it west and 3 and a half days to drive back east in the car. Mr. Lime and I were on the trip together and he barely spoke to me all summer (after being all but inseparable for many months prior to the trip)...and yet I said yes, when he proposed to me 5 weeks after we got home....after saying no the first time he asked (about a week after we got home). It is not the proposal that made me forgive him. It was when he was honest about what he'd been feeling for 65 days that I forgave him.

My mother and I spent 2 weeks in Hawaii in 2000. She drove me insane by wanting everything planned out ahead of time. I convinced her that renting a car was a good idea so we could do some independent exploring apart from organized tours. Her inability to read a road map was astonishing. I know that my tendency to prefer spontaneity makes her want to tear her hair our a the roots. In the end we had a GREAT time and got over it because we love each other and I was grateful for the ticket and hotel she paid for! She had already done enough.

3) You are cleaning a house and dividing up the chores. What is your least favorite chore and what is your most favorite chore? ( PS if you have to clean the bathroom, do you clean behind the toilet?)

Sign me up for laundry. Laundry is easy, I can throw it in the machine and go read a book while it washes. Hang it out to dry and blog a little. Plus, I am particular about how it is done. This must come from having worked in a nursing home laundry, which oddly enough was the worst job I ever had....something to do with a room that got over 100 degrees, 'chunky' sheets, and miserable coworkers....

I will do all your laundry if you will dust. I hate to dust. It is the most stupid and pointless thing. It is entirely futile. It makes me sneeze. It's a little less repugnant and less likely to make me sneeze since I got a vacuum cleaner with an attachment I can use to suck up dust but it' is still a stupid job and I still hate it.

PS, I clean the floor behind the toilet.

4) You are a spy and you must gather the best intelligence possible on your subject. However, you are limited. You can either eavesdrop on the conversations or watch the person with no sound. Which manner of spying do you choose and why?

I think I'll eavesdrop. I may miss out on body language but I'll get tone of voice and I will get more specific facts with actual verbal communication.

5) If you could be a bird and fly to anyplace in the world today, where would you go?

You know, I am really feeling like a beach in Greece is the place to be right now....

finally, we have Lecram's questions...

Envision the interview taking place at the London Savoy during high tea.

1. What is the one disadvantage in your life that you have overcome to your satisfaction and how?

Wow, great question! The tricky part is 'to your satisfaction.' There are a few disadvantages I feel I've overcome to a reasonable degree but I am still not satisfied, there is still work to be done. The one I am probably most satisfied with is overcoming the sense of shame I had as a child. We were outcasts. We lived in a very conservative small town and the whole world knew our business and looked down on us for various reasons. Then my mother went and painted the house purple (in PA dutch country this is NOT an acceptable house color) which gave us a certain amount of local infamy on top of everything else. I just desperately wanted to blend in and be accepted, not stick out any more than we already did.

I eventually realized the small mindedness of others was not my problem. I became comfortable enough with being 'outside' that I was free to be me, regardless of what the herd was saying. I also like to think it made me a bit more tenderhearted to folks who are different. In fact, I tend to seek out people who, on the surface, seem to have a different experience/background than I do. I learn new things that way and I always find we are all the same in more ways than not.

2. If you were given Samantha's (from "Bewitched") nose twitch magical power... only one twitch... how would you use it?


3. Are you planning on tie-dying a sarong for yourself... if so... when and what colors?

Gasp! What a FABULOUS idea! I have some lovely batik fabric I bought in Trinidad the last time I was there. I've delayed actually making it into garments because I keep telling myself I will loose weight. I had decided to make some into a sarong or two for this summer but now I think I have to tie dye one as well!

I have found a new place to get dyes that will allow me to mix just the amount I want and fool around with color intensities and such. I want to play with bath dyeing the fabric a base color and then tie dyeing a darker color on top. Although I am fond of the wild rainbow dyes I may go for some monochromatic themes with this....maybe some wild fuschias and pinks, or some bright and pale greens, maybe blues.....oh gosh...maybe I'd better make at least one rainbow colored one!

4. In a span of a week, how often do you "indulge" yourself and what would that indulgence be?

The quick and easy answer is....chocolate on a daily basis. I try to keep it to a small amount so I don't wind up weighing 400 lbs but I have to have a little each day and I do have a hidden private stash. However, I have read all sorts of studies showing the health benefits of chocolate so is this really an indulgence or merely me taking good care of my physical and mental health?

Saturday mornings when no one has to be driven anywhere are also an indulgence. I can sleep late, schlep around in jammies for a while and then I make my way to the master bath where I do all sorts of extended grooming rituals. I'm not a girly girl who wears lots of make-up (in fact, I wear none, ever) or keeps with style, and mirror gazing is about as dull as it gets, but I do battle with sensitive, dry skin (except the face, which is a grease pit) and taking good care of it with some nice things (all sorts of funky natural, no dye, no chemical things...homemade soaps and sea salt/oil scrubs) in an unrushed way once a week (although I often miss weeks) is a treat I decided to give myself. Of course, if someone wanted to aid the process that would be even better!

5. Cucumber sandwiches or scones?

Oh, scones please...they are much more indulgent and you can have more variety in flavors.

Ok, now it's your turn. If you want to be interviewed by me say so in the comments and I will generate 5 questions for you to answer.


Logophile said...

Awesome, I made the front of the phone book!
Well, I am 5'5, that is not exactly short, but at least I won't be in the last half.

Love the other questions too, fun stuff and thinking stuff.
Of course, as always, FABULOUS answers.

Breazy said...

Very good questions and answers. I am sitting here laughing my butt of at the sensitive skin answer! I too have dry sensitive skin every where except my face and like you said mine is a grease pit as well. The grease pit is what caused me to almost fall out of my chair laughing!

I wear make-up and I have found a foundation that is oil-free,it keeps my face from getting greasy during the day. I have also been using a Cetaphil bar to wash morning and night with.

I really enjoy reading your blog Lime, you are so hilarious! Thanks! Oh and if you want to interview me, go for it! I haven't done anything like that in a while.

Anonymous said...

Lime, I love your answers. It's always fun to learn more about the fantastic limester.

ttfootball said...

Such witty answers as usual. I can't wait for THE trini tuesday!

I take five questions before PLUS I doin 5 days straight now so I'll pass... ;-)

Ameratis said...

Where does short brunettes who have knowledge of Monty Python and extensive knowledge of Princess Bride fall in the book? LOL

I would like to be interviewed if that doesn't seem too vain :)

Also where can I find the best info on tye-dying? You have me enamored with the subject now :)

lecram sinun said...

Love the answers, Lime! So, you decided on a press junket with this one. Kinda like after you win the Oscar. Cheers!

jillie said...

Those are really great answers to some very interesting questions. I'm looking at them does she come up with all of that! LOL...

I hear you on the motorcycle....

barman said...

Let's see, phone book. Brunette (not good) 6'1" (also not good) love Monty Python especially Life of Brian and Holy Grail (woohoo, thumbs up) either never saw or not familiar with Princess Bride (bummer). Looks like I will be at the end of the book just before the basketball players.

I know the small town thing. I grew up and am comfortable with a 30,000 to 40,000 person town. Where I live know I went to church in a small community near by which has a population of fewer than 8,000. I immediately got the feeling that everyone knows everyone and everything. I could not go back. I still do things in that town however like their little theater and the ice cream store and a small local bar but I just don't know about other things. Oh I beat to my own drum too but I do pay attention to make sure I am not too different. Sometimes it just does not matter however.

lime said...

logo, are you pleased with the new order of things?

breazy, terrific. glad you enjoyed, girl! (glad you're all hooked up to high speed net so you CAN enjoy!) i'll get to work on qs for you

tc, thanks, friend....can i interview YOU?

tt, you're doing great with your a bit worried about my end!

ameratis, you'd come after the redheads and blondes who love MP and PB (be they married or single) but before the tall folks of any hair color, irrespective of marital status, with no apprciation for subversive wit. and my email addy is on the profile...send me a note and we'll talk tie dye, i can give you more info that way.

lecram, but i won't do interviews with barbara walters, she's just not that interesting.

jillie, i could answer that but it might frighten you off.

barman, go rent princess bride. it will move you up just a bit, and you'll love it.

Rusty Nails said...

Interesting answers. I see a motorcycle in your future! Go sign up for a safety class (cycles to learn on are provided). And, I bet there might be a ferry to take you from Venezuela to Trinidad so you could go via two wheels.

Moosekahl said...

ohhh...I'll play. Fire away :)

I'm a tall, red head and I don't do Monty Python but I can recite Princess Bride like no other...humperdink, humperdink, humperdink!!

jillie said...

I don't scare quite that easy...


lime said...

rusty, there has been some talk of bikes in the house of for the ferry, no, no 'legal' ones exist between venezuela and trinidad.

moose, you present a perplexing cataloguing situation! alright, i'll come up with some qs for you. yippe.

jillie, it involves sleep deprivation, a completely skewed thought process, chocolate, hard cider, silly putty and some incantations over my cat's grave. but like tc, no sea monkeys were harmed during the writing of this blog...

airplanejayne said...

wonderful!!! I would want to be a Borrower also: sleep in a matchbox, bathe in a thimble, and eat a cupcake for a week!!!

jillie said...

LOL...I'm there for the hard cider...YUMMMMMMMM

TLP said...

Wow! Just WOW! Great answers.

I can't do as well as you, but I'd like to play!

I'm also curious about where I am in your phonebook. I'm 5'4", WHITE haired, in like Flynn with Monty Python, and so close to the Princess Bride that she uses my birthdate when she plays the lottery.

RennyBA said...

Good questions and great answers!
I hope at your trip around the world you would drop in to Norway too. I mean it could be too late after your well settled in your grave!
Btw: Sorry I haven't been around for a while, but been busy traveling and conferenceing you know:-)

Hypersonic said...

OK. Grill me!

MONA said...

hey Lime, what about straight black haired women who are 5'9" tall?

Sis B said...

Sprout is about 2 feet tall with flaming red hair. She's heard me quote zPrincess Bride (only the best movie of all time) since she was conceived. It's not legal for her to be married yet, so where does she fall in the book? :)

I would totally be a Borrower.

I never ever do these things. But in this case I do, for the very reason you did it three times: You are such an interesting person I want to know what you will ask. :)

~Tim said...

People look down on me because I'm tall. Can I lie about my height for the phone book?

~Tim said...

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that your Golden Phallus story reminded me of a joke that I posted yesterday!

Dan said...

Well, since it is open ended and seems not to have a time limit I'd grave, after I have seen everything.

I will TOTALLY be your porter. I'll even give a foot massages. What do you say?

ShyRocket said...

Susie and I are shattered that you wouldn't come to Bangalore with us!

But all the others answers are v, v clever!

Charles said...

GREECE!? What about Hong Kong? You're out of the will! ;-)

G-Man said...

Limey hides her chocolate?
She has a chocolate stash?
In depth Trini!!
Great epic!!

KFarmer said...

Love your answers! You never cease to amaze me. :)

PS-Does a 5"2" strawberry blonde count? I guess I always look on the bright side of life... ;)

lime said...

apj, i will share my cupcake with you any time!

tlp, i just realized i forgot white haired people and bald people....i think i am going to have to revamp this whole thing....

renny, norway is one of my first stops!

hypersonic, BBQ sauce or marinade?

mona, marital status and thoughts on MP and PB?

sis b, since sprout is not old enough to pay her own phone bill she just falls under your listing...ok, working on a set of questions for you too!

tim, i would look up to you :)

dan, i say pack your bags and grab your passport!

shy, don't remind me...waaaaahhhh!!!!

charles, i was in the will???

g-man, you bet i do!

kfarmer, sounds liek yo uare near the front of the book , darlin!

DaMasta said...

Oh man, my face is a grease pit too! Have you found anything to help? I'm all out of ideas. And the pampering part just speaks to me! I have some things I love to indulge in (when I get the time) like scrubs, pedicures, sea salt baths, mud packs... it's hard to find the time though, eh?
Have a great Thursday, Limerz.

snavy said...

NO ONE does these kind of things better than you!! Awesome answers and questions to those who gave them.

Can I have some questions. I've been slacking on all my online responsibilities.


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Gawpo said...

Croly HAP, Limers! I'm only on the very first question and all I can think of is: How Logo can come up with a question like that and 2) where do YOU pull such inventive orderings out of that beautiful and beautifully bright skull of yours. I will have to come back and work on this later. Wow.