From a Land Down Under

I had to steal this from tl.



A- Available or Single?
I'm available for weddings, birthday parties, and bar mitzvahs.


B- Best Friend?
The two who went with me to try prom gowns on when I was about a month postpartum and none of my regular clothes fit. I had to find a way to laugh about that. Stuffing 10 lbs of s*** into a 5 lb sequined and spangly bag fit the bill nicely. The same two who I am safe to cry with when I need to and who rejoice when I rejoice. The same two who tell me to wise up when that's what I most need to hear.


C- Cake or Pie?
I'm Pennsylvania Dutch. We bake cakes in pie crusts so you never have to choose between the two.


D- Drink of Choice?
Under what circumstances. You people really need to be more specific here. Am I having breakfast lunch or dinner? Is it a social situation or am I alone? Am I paying? What is in the fridge that isn't old? Really...you are being far too general here.


E- Essential Item?
Oxygen


F- Favorite Color?
Again, more specificity needed here. Am I wearing it or sitting in a room of it or eating some of it?


G- Gummi Bears or Worms?
Oh the worms are so much more fun for grossout factor, especially if you make dirt pudding and have the gummi worms poking out.


H- Hometown?
A lil blip on the map famous for making coffins.


I- Indulgence?
Are we talking Catholic practices from the Middle Ages or how to pamper oneself? Why oh why can you not be clear in your questioning?


K- Kids and Names?
They go together well. In fact I find names for kids to be quite indispensable. It's more efficient than calling them all by the generic label 'kid' and having countless heads whip around when you try to summon one of them.


L- Life is incomplete without…?
Love
Chocolate
Sex
(feel free to read that as individual items in a list or as a declaration)


M- Marriage Date?
What??


N- Number of Siblings?
One tormented younger brother


O- Oranges or Apples?
Both


P- Phobias/Fears?
Ski masks, and that is no joke.


Q- Favorite Quote?
The world is full of suffering. The world is also full of the overcoming of suffering. ~Helen Keller


R- Reasons to smile?
Love
Chocolate
Sex
(Ok, I used that already, sorry...add to that all the people I love and who love me)


S- Season?
Liberally with fresh herbs and spices


T- Tag 3 people?
You, with the uncombed hair
You, with the cat walking across your keyboard or desk
You, who sneezed within the last hour


U- Unknown Fact About Me?
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.


V- Vegetable You Hate?
Canned peas. Why the hell would anyone do that to such a lovely thing as a fresh pea? It's so fundamentally wrong.


W- Worst Habit?
Procrastina...


X- Xrays You’ve Had?
Gads, Janita alone has been xrayed a bazillion times in all angles. Then you have the annual smashing of the hooters, the chest xrays, the various sprained ankles that had to be checked to make sure there were no broken bones, the dental xrays, the full sets of spinal pictures from car accidents. Is that enough for you?


Y- Your Favorite Foods?
Chocolate, bread, pizza, summer fruits and veggies.


Z- Zodiac?
Libra in the west, Monkey in the east.