Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Weird Wednesday-Deer Season Edition

Some of you may know that Monday started deer hunting season here in Pennsylvania. This is a big deal at House of Lime since we fill our freezer with venison and I never buy beef. This hunting season has dropped a wonderful little nugget of weirdness into my lap and I just had to share it with you all.

Over the years Mr. Lime has accumulated a few handy gadgets to make staying warm, field dressing a deer, and dragging its carcass a little easier. This year he came home with his latest labor saving find. Care to guess what it is used for?








Here is a diagram demonstrating its use.





That's right folks, it's the Butt-Out Tool! As the product description at the website says,


One of the more unpleasant chores of field dressing now takes just seconds to accomplish using the innovative Butt-Out Tool. This tool is the fastest, easiest way to disconnect the anal alimentary canal from deer or similar-sized game. Immediately after harvesting game, insert the Butt-Out Tool into the anal canal and twist until it grabs the membrane. Continue twisting another half turn, then steadily pull the Butt-Out Tool out of the canal. Extract 10" of membrane, tie the membrane off and cut. Its time-saving ease of use makes this the tool every deer hunter needs in his pack.


Go ahead and click the link for some fabulous testimonials on this handy little gadget! Now, I know all you anti-hunting types are in horror that we hunt at all. All the rest of you are probably now gagging on your breakfast. Thus far none of the three hunters at House of Lime has brought home meat to feed us this year. Somehow I think the deer got wind of this new gadget. In spite of the instinctive behavior of whitetail deer to lift their tails in warning to the rest of the herd I imagine them all bounding away with tails tucked and hindquarters clenched tightly.

31 comments:

G-Man said...

This is for deer?
I think you just gave every male dancer on Broadway a woody!!
Look at it this way Michelle, this device will give you years of wonderful conversation!
Pretty innovative!!
Is it by Ronco?
xoxoxox

Jim said...

I think I may have just lost whatever interest I had in anal sex.

XO

Margee-Martha-Marsha Pick-One said...

God I hope they're sure the deer is fully dead before using this device... Or else I imagine a special place in hell where one might be treated to the same procedure.

Cosima said...

... I don't even want to know what a deer hunter has to do without this handy device.

I think I'll stay with prepackaged meat.

witnessing am i said...

Um. . . uh . . . thank you . . . for this.

Hypersonic said...

Hey! Please don't tell Bubba.

furiousBall said...

there are certain things that can not be unseen. this would be one of them

snowelf said...

I am from a family of avid hunters also and though I don't get the whole freeze your ass off to go out and shoot a living creature when there are perfectly good grocery stores and all, I have to respect their passion.
I just, however, did not know this was such a problem and find it rather humorous that some hunter was gutting a deer and thinking "Hmmm...do you know what I should invent?"

:)
--snow

Seamus said...

So THAT"S why all our deer have had their tails tucked!

Beach Bum said...

Saw that thing used once and almost turned against hunting myself. But I'm alway open to free vension and soon squashed the idea.

lecram said...

Oh deer!

jillie said...

I was going to say a butt plug. Damn it's a good thing the deer can't feel anything. OUCH!

Oh yeah, BTW..(and you can thank me later) I tagged you...you're it!

;o)

Top cat said...

I bet it's made in China.lol
tc

m said...

ew.

i just ate lunch so i am gagging on that...thank you very much!

gab said...

we have the best property to hunt but we just cant get enough money to go home and hunt! :(
Anyways ewwww to the Butt-out tool!
But some say its a lot easier to use than you think.(it takes all kinds)
My BIL uses this as does every one who hunts in his group.

Tommy said...

You know what's funny ... or possibly scary? As soon as I saw this I knew what it was for and I haven't been deer hunting in a thousand years or so. All of a sudden I am hungry for sausage. Hmmmmm ...
TG

tsduff said...

ewwwwww! Don't bend over.

I see the inventors were real creative when coming up with the name for their new "tool".

airplanejayne said...

fave words in all the comments:
male dancer
prepackaged meat
tail tucked
butt plug
gagging
tool


okay...it just made my day, that's all I'm saying...

S said...

Ok OK I cant even look....
:((

I could have died never knowing about that.....um seriously Lime...I'm shocked and may now need therapy.

Runs and hides under the bed

Jay said...

It's yucky, but somehow fascinating....

Dan said...

I think that company should branch out and target this for regular folks. I could name at least a dozen people that I would like to use this on.

TorAa said...

Here the hunting season is over. It's very popular in Norway. Do not invite to meetings during the season. It's in vain and you'll get offending comments for doing so.
Hunting here is very costly. The land/forest owners sells the right and the quota to Hunting teams. A weekend as a team member may cost around USD 2000,-. Moose/Elk hunting.

Charles said...

Simultaneously interesting, funny and strongly sickening. I now have a persistent tingling around my mouth like when I'm going to vomit.

KiKi said...

omigod - i just clenched.

Jeni said...

Although in this region of the state I think most every one around here either is a hunter or is married to one or related to one some way or other and I've lived in these hills with all these hunters almost all my life and never knew such a thing like this was needed or existed. I will have to make a point to show this to my son-in-law - see if he has one for his deer hunting escapades.

Mona said...

OMG! That is so.....

snavy said...

wow ... that is so completely icky

kind of reminds me of that little tool the Egyptians used to pull the brains out thru the nostrils b4 mummification

Fortress Guinness said...

wow Lime...thats pretty nasty...
i'm not squeamish but i'm wincing right now...!!!

Rebicmel said...

ouchie ouchie ouchie!! Hmm I must pass this on to some friends who are hunters lol.

Gawpo said...

Are you freeky-deeky kiddin' me?! Wow. I want pictures.

And I'm with Dan on this one.

Anonymous said...

This is next to the laser nose hair trimmers in Sky Mall. Just more crap to carry.

By the way, "pre-packaged meat, perfectly good grocery stores" ? Where do you think -that- meat comes from... trees?