Jillie tagged me saying I have to come up with 5-10 classes to improve my life and take one of the classes she has listed for herself. First off let me say I will be signing up for her offering of...
How to walk with 2 left feet. **prerequisites: the ability to fall, stumble, run into something for no reason at all.the ability to trip when there is nothing to trip overturning and walking into walls.
I once proposed a number of thesis titles for master's level credit since some institutes of higher learning offer credit for real life experience. Here are those ideas.
1. The Inverse Relationship between Juvenile Comprehension and Direct Parental Command: A Longitudinal Study in Selective Deafness
2. Chaos Theory: An Observation of the Entropic Properties of Children's Bedrooms
3. Motherheimers: A Statistical Examination of the Dementia-inducing Effects of Watching 'Barney' and 'Teletubbies'
4. Transmogrification of Cotton to Iron: A Peculiar Alchemy Correlating Missing Socks to a Proliferation of Wire Hangers
5. Culinary Cartographic Disorder: Efficacious Treatments for those Unable to Locate Food in a Fully Stocked Pantry or Refrigerator
But Jillie wants classes to improve my life so I am compelled to come up with some new offerings.
Wealth Building By Using Ebay to Tidy the House: This course is offered both in the economics and health departments due to its benefit for reducing stress as it increases cash flow. Students will learn how to avoid nagging spouses and children to pick up after themselves by simply collecting all unattended items and selling them on eBay. Students will also learn how to successfully market the items found around the house in succinct but attention grabbing ads.
Required materials: computer with Internet connection and digital camera
Surviving Adolescents: Course will cover translation of various grunts and slang in current usage, interpretation of blank looks, coping with selective deafness and blame shifting, and motivation techniques. Advanced students may pursue independent study in public humiliation of teens through parental wardrobe choices.
Required materials: teen to english dictionary, bullwhip, cattle prod, valium (for parental use), tie dye
Safe Ziplining: Students will master the use of harnesses and helmets to avoid compound fractures while still enjoying the thrill of speed as flight is simulated.
Required materials: Helmet, harness, bubble-wrap suit, crash pads, proof of current health insurance
Any other suggestions for me? What classes would you take?