typing my answers to the following prompts into Google Image and then choosing a photo off the first page that pops up.
1. Age at My Next Birthday: 40. And here we see a picture of I-40, which was a horror. If I were told I had to drive that stretch of road in 3.5 days again I'd run shrieking out of the room. Kinda how I feel about turning 40.
2. Place I'd Like to Travel: Greece. Do I really need to explain this???
3. Place I've Been: Around the block...and around, and around, and around again! Stop the world I wanna get off!
4. My Favorite Food: Chocolate. And yes, I will swim in a vat of it before I die. Though I doubt I will come out of the vat looking as trim as this gal. I wonder how melted chocolate might look as it runs to fill in stretchmarks and cottage cheese dimples....hhmm....
5. Place where I was born: Delivery Ward. Apparently, adopted babies don't come from the stork. They come from Japanese delivery trucks. Who knew? I wonder if there is a 30 minute or less guarantee? Two for one Tuesday maybe? A punch card...buy 10 get the 11th free? No?
6. Place where I live: Bi-level. It's got more square footage than this and it's not mobile. Otherwise, wow, it looks JUST like my house!
7. Name of Past Pet: Twiggy, who was a big, slobbering St. Bernard. Dad likes ironic names for animals. I was 4 and thought it was great fun to see what I could get her to eat. Wet leaves were a big favorite though she usually threw them up on the kitchen floor. I'm thinking her namesake also may have subsisted on wet leaves which she threw up later.
8. Best Friend's Nickname: Gwennie. My Gwennie would probably see this Gwennie and immediately need to adopt her. My Gwennie loves dogs. If she lived in an apartment bigger than the picture of my bi-level she'd be collecting dogs like my grandmother collected souvenir spoons on bowling league trips. I do love my Gwennie.
9. My First Name: Ernestine. Well of course that isn't my first name, but all the pictures that came up for Michelle were boring. So were the ones for Matilda, which is what Dad used to call me. Gert was dull too. I thought I might get Lily Tomlin by googling Ernestine but I got this prim lady instead. Prim, ha! No one has ever called me prim. I wonder what Ernestine here would look like if she let her hair down and wore tie dye.
10. My First Job: Babysitter. I got certified by the Red Cross and everything. During our training we were told to always pack a few special toys or games to share with our young charges because novelty would keep their attention and make them look forward to seeing you. I was very conscientious about that.