Friday, February 15, 2008

Friday 55ish(or more) & Da Count-Enough

If I'm not
pretty enough,
young enough,
thin enough,
sweet enough,
Do me a favor and say
you've had enough.

If I don't
play dumb enough,
work hard enough,
stroke your ego enough,
kow tow enough,
Why don't you just say
you've had enough.

If you don't
enjoy me enough,
love me enough,
want me enough,
respect me enough,
Don't be surprised if I decide
I've had enough.*

Not to beat a dead horse here but so far February has not been any better than January, this last week in particular. If I'm going to be honest I have been less than delightful to be around this week. I'm tired and my back hurts. When it hurts I go to a really low place because I can't accomplish much, I miss out on fun, and I worry if this is the time when it won't get better and the doctors decide it's time to cut into me. I'm not proud of my response or defending it. I know I have been very unlovable this week in my 3D life. Certain individuals have responded to my unloveliness with plenty of their own. And yet there have been those who have given help or a kind word when I most needed it.

I hurt myself while the girls were away last weekend. Calypso wasn't home from her fun weekend away for 10 minutes before she was asking me what I needed and how she could help. When I got all weepy at one point she very gladly gave me a hug. I want to give praise where it is due for that child...especially after what I shared in Da Count last week. There have been friends among you who have very graciously let me whine at them. When I asked one how they could possibly stand listening to me and was told, "Being good to you gives me a chance to express the love I have." Well, if that didn't make me blubber all over the place....That's love alright and it's more than enough.

*Please don't freak out about the content there. I'm just venting.


jillie said... my eyes are leaking! I do hope you're feeling better soon and they don't have to cut into you. Heck girl, I'm just getting better myself. Between you and me...UGH.

Your daughter Calypso sounds like a wonderful young lady and thanks for sharing such a great story again. I love reading about your family. At times I feel a little envious...

Have a good wknd Lime XOXO

lecram said...

We are on similar tracks this week I see. Yeah, a wonderful and honest count. Hope you are coming out of it... (the pain) and do know (even though we need the odd reminder now and again) that you are loved. Cheers!

Suldog said...

"... my 3D life."

I absolutely LOOOOOVE that. I'll steal it very soon, no doubt.

Amorous Chick said...

Maybe next week will be better for you. =o)

That was a very lovely poem before the actual post though. Made me kind of sad since it hit a spot with me. =o)

barman said...

Life can take us down strange paths. Thank goodness for those who help us stay on the path even when it is the last thing in the world we want to do. Two big hugs for Calypso (from you of course) for being so perceptive and giving.

You can't be up all the time despite how you may try. That is when friends and family come in handy. I hope you snap this winter streak and things soon look up... only 35 more days (more or less) to spring!

Maddy said...

I'm pretty pooped around here too, but I think that would certainly warm the cockles of my heart [if I had any cockles of course!]

Have a great weekend.

airplanejayne said...

thanks for being whom you are:
I could never appreciate you enough.

BBC said...

Oh, things will get better for you, I hope. We all have our down times or things that bother us.

I know that I fuss a lot but I have good up times everyday also. My real life isn't always reflected on my blog, I use it to honor all that I am is all.

cathy said...

What a great poem!

so dodgy dads,
great kids,
bad backs,
and unmentionables who don't appreciate us....

....real bottoms, caustic sense of humour...

I wonder what else we have in common?

Mona said...

Tu hai bedard to phir apna bhi yeh daur sahi/ tu nahin aur sahi, aur nahin aur sahi...

( If you have turned heartless then I too have a formula/ If it is not you,it will be someone else & if not someone else then some other someone else...)

Its okay to vent at times...

There is a point in life where we all need to say 'enough is enough'...

Calaypso sounds such a sweet child!

My Mom used to say " a caterpillar has many legs."

furiousBall said...

what a great kid. i want my kids to grow up and be that sweet to me. that's when you know you did great.

G-Man said...

My shoulder is always available for You Michelle...Always!!!
If you need it....G

The Zombieslayer said...

Pain sucks! I've been injured on more than one occasion and I pretty much keep to myself when I'm in unbearable pain because I know I won't be a joy to be around.

I see a chiropractor twice a week and it helps big time. I'd rather see one than be cut. I refuse to be cut unless it's life or death. Even my knee injuries from football, I didn't want to be cut and instead got 9 months of acupuncture and some other stuff that went along with it (ultrasound, shark cartilage, etc.)

Best of luck with your back. Back pain is not fun.

Jeni said...

Hey - blubber and whine and write all about it as much as you want! It's cathartic for openers, ya know! And, who among us hasn't at one time - or many -been in similar straits too. Just see to it that you are attending to your needs of getting things working properly, pain free, again! K?
Now, do whatever you have to do to get yourself better!

Akelamalu said...

You said it all.

Sorry to hear you're hurting - have a ((HUG))x

Maddy said...

Nip on over and collect your award as at todays date.

KFarmer said...

When you're the rock of the family, I guess people may think perhaps you're made of stone and don't need certain things~ oh how wrong they are. It's nice to know someone in your family knows this and luvs her mama :)

As for your back, before you go under the knife I would suggest reading "The Bad Back Book" It saved me and the simple exercises continue to keep me moving and have for years (L5~S1/totally blown)I know you hurt and you have my sympathy with best wishes and healing thoughts on top :)

Merelyme said...

i believe we are kindred spirits...i definitely want to come back to read more of you.

smarmoofus said...

Oh. My. Gawd... that poem is brilliant! I just wanted to say that before I read everything below it. I was afraid I'd get distracted and forget to tell you how great your 55 is. *now reads the rest*

Oh... I'm sorry you're feeling so low and hopeless. Chronic pain can do horrible things to a person's outlook. If you care to, you're welcome to email me (smarmoofus at gmail) if you want to talk about your back. Depending on the cause of your pain, I might know a friendly group who can at least commiserate with you, if not offer you options to explore.


Seamus said...

I hope that you can get past this back thing without surgery!
Venting is a good thing!!

S said...

Hope youre feeling better, Lime.

Phaedrous said...

Jeeze, Lime, you're making me look like a piker.

Boysenberry said...

Bugger, Lime. Sending more good thoughts and wishes your way.

Theresa said...

Sorry you're feeling so bad. You can come and cry on my shoulder any time you want. That's one terrific kid you have there.

Feel better. :)

tsduff said...

Hope the stormy bumps have passed. It is no fun feeling so awful. Hugs.

Charles said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your back, I'd like to say, hang in there, there are many who care, some you've not yet met.

Great kid you've got there in Calypso, you've done a great job there.

RennyBA said...

I think your good in venting and that's good and I do hope you'll get better soon.

Wishing you a great week ahead and ask you to look at the bright side of life - there is a lot if you just use the right life glasses you know :-)

Flash said...

You hard to be around???

I can't fathom it!

Awesome 55!

Pauline said...

I really like the poem.
As for being non too nice to be around due to pain, it gets us all like that sometimes, your daughter sounds like a treasure and you have friends that are there for you too. We all need a bit extra at times. Feel better soon!

snowelf said...

I dug the "3D life" too. ;)

Lime, I'm sorry you're feeling all bleh. And the thing is, we as your friends know all of the goodness inside of you. If you were happy all the time, we might question your sanity. ;) hehehehe.

Anyway, real friends love you no matter what. Sometimes a uber babe just needs to vent!! (I mean, it's hard keeping all that hotness on the inside.) :D

Okay,if that didn't make you smile, you can fire me as your friend. ;)


Cosima said...

Aiya... back pain is the worst. I hope you get reprieve soon.

It's wonderful that your children take care of you so good!

Dorky Dad said...

ARGH! I hate back pain. I feel your pain, so to speak. I had some pain for months recently that wouldn't go away. I thought I was going to die.

M said...

Aw! I am freaking out that I missed your Friday post. I am sorry to hear that your back hurts and winter sucks out your way. Be careful on that ice, don't want to make the back feel any worse with a slip and fall!

Miladysa said...

I LOVED the poem - AWESOME!

"I worry if this is the time when it won't get better and the doctors decide it's time to cut into me"

I know that feeling - it fills me with dread and makes me sick to the bottom of my stomach! I have my fingers crossed for you!

Queenie said...

Your poem was so true, you are so talented lady. Awwww, so sorry about your pain its good to know your getting hugs from that wonderful child, here's a few more ((((HUGS))). I hope things pick up soon for you, I find the warmer weather helps a little, so wishing you sunshine in the very near future.