Monday, April 14, 2008

Lime as an Onion

Layer One: On the Outside
Name: Grand High Exalted Mystic Lime
Birthday: shared with the ever delectable Hugh Jackman
Current Location: sitting on my ever widening arse
Eye Color: honey with flecks of gold (That's how Mo, of Cross-cultural Communication fame described them, poetic, no?)
Hair Color: salt and pepper
Righty or Lefty: righty tighty, lefty loosey
Zodiac Sign: I think I will invent my own chocolate zodiac just so I can be dark Milk Chocolate with a peanut butter meltaway center.

Layer Two: Just Below the Surface
Your Weakness: My stupid lower back which keeps betraying me.
Goal: To get my stupid lower back strong and stable without having to go through surgery.
Your Fears: Having my stupid lower back cut into by a surgeon.

Layer Three: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up: Ugh, morning already.
Your bedtime: When I become incoherent or one of the kids rouses me from my own puddle of drool on the couch.
Your most missed memory: If I could remember it I wouldn't miss it, now would I?

Layer Four: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke: Ginger Ale
McDonald's or Burger King: Are you trying to make me vomit or scare the crap out of me. I mean really...the choice of equally awful 'foods' sold to me by either a demented clown or a downright creepy, oversized plastic king. *shudders
Single or Group dates: Dates aren't my favorite fruit, I prefer berries
Adidas or Nike: The Goddess of Victory, of course
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Stash teas
Chocolate or Vanilla: If you know me at all, you don't even need to ask
Cappuccino or Coffee: I never touch Evil Bean Juice. It's vile.

Layer Five: Do You?
Smoke: I smolder
Have a crush: Grape Crush please.
Think you've been in love: I know I have been.
Want to get married: Last time I checked I already was.
Believe in yourself: I blog, therefore I am
Think you're a health freak: My freakiness is your normal and vice versa

Layer Six: In the Past Month
Drank alcohol: Yep
Gone to the mall: Thankfully, no.
Eaten Sushi: Again with the trying to make me vomit...
Gone skating: Nope
Dyed your hair: You MUST be kidding. My family caused my grey hair, they get to look at it.

Layer Seven: Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game: Once I had to strip the bathroom wall of 100 years worth of layers of paint.
Gotten beaten up: Not going there.
Changed who you were to fit in: I adapted to a completely different culture but I didn't essentially change who I was at the core.

Layer Eight: Getting Old
Age you’re hoping to be married: Been there, done that
Plastic Surgery or Wrap: What?????
Buried or Cremated: Green burial, thank you. Pine box, white shroud, no embalming.

Layer Nine: Perfect Mate
Best Eye Color: I'm a complete sucker for brown eyes that dance with life and sparkle with mischief
Best Hair Color: Makes no difference
Short or Long Hair: Long enough to run my fingers through

Layer Ten: What were you doing...
1 HOUR AGO: Realizing my plans need serious revision.
1 WEEK AGO: Implementing Phase 1 of my diabolical plans.
1 MONTH AGO: Putting the finishing touches on my plan for world domination.
1 YEAR AGO: Deciding to take over the world.

Layer Eleven: Finish the Sentence
I LOVE: Chocolate
I HATE: Mocha
I HIDE: Chocolate
I MISS: Being able to eat chocolate and stay skinny
I NEED: A hot fudge sundae with peanut butter ripple ice cream.


G-Man said...

Do You like Chocolate?

.."Blogito Ergo Sum!"

Hope you feel better ..xox

furiousBall said...

I don't trust people that don't like chocolate.

S said...

I love lemon
I hate coffee
I hide my money
I miss India
I need a massage.

Happy Monday Lime

Suldog said...

Re: Layer Nine - No hope for me, but I am already married, so it's OK.

Re: Layer Ten - Can I be Co-Emperor? Since I'm already married, and I know you won't have any romantic/sexual interest in me, I'll be very efficient in eradicating your enemies.

tsduff said...

Except for the sushi (mmmm) and evil bean juice (I love mocha too) we think a lot alike :) Great little onion peel.

mary said...

Hm. My first question is. Do onions have that many layers? I have cut into a few onions in my day and dang...I never noticed that many layers.

Anonymous said...

Oo.. Fun!

I'd give you my share of the chocolate bar :)

Anonymous said...

I'm going to have to do this one!!! :)

How cool to learn new stuff!

Theresa said...

So, what's the first thing you'll do when you take over the world?

Anonymous said...

Another classic, though I am seeing a recurring theme here with the chocolate. It seems to the answer to anything positive.

My favorite:

Smoke: I smolder

Flash said...

I totally love this! Consider it stolen!


Craver Vii said...

You are delightfully twisted. I love the way you answer these types of things!

Dark chocolate and peanut butter? Mmmmm...

cathy said...

Um.. I need help, I've just cut into an onion to count the layers.

Anonymous said...

ahhh...the chocolate thing..does it help that yesterday I made chocolate raspberry brownies and chocolate chip cookies????

VE said...

Taking over the world sounds like too much work...

I didn't know onions only had 11 layers. What happens after that?

Kathryn said...

So you're saying you DON'T like chocolate? Weird.

Beach Bum said...

1 MONTH AGO: Putting the finishing touches on my plan for world domination.

When you take over the world any chance you could give me a small island next the ocean? I'm again ready to run away from civilization.

lecram said...

Chocolate sounds just about right at the moment.

Moosekahl said...

I think chocolate fits you :)

jillie said...

Just like an onion you make me cry! Only I laugh until I cry.

Great blog...this is just way too cool. I may have to borrow it from you when I run out of ideas. Which is almost!!

Dorky Dad said...

You're an onion? Why do you have to be an onion? Why can't you be a parfait? They have layers. Oooh, now I'm making myself hungry.

(Was my comment too Shrek?)

James Goodman-Horror Writer said...

lol, that was a great list. :D

Phain said...

stealing this....

(maybe some of the answers too)