Meme Madness

Suldog tagged me to answer each thing with 5 responses so here goes.

FIVE YEARS AGO, I WAS...
1. Not imagining I'd be moving at the end of the summer.
2. Celebrating my best friend's engagement.
3. Five years younger.
4. Sporting fewer grey hairs
5. Not even aware of what a zipline was


FIVE SNACKS I ENJOY
1. Chocolate-covered, peanut butter dipped pretzels, excuse me I need a moment alone.....ok.
2. Summer fruit. Berries and melons and peaches, oh my!
3. Lime Tostitos and hot salsa. Does this make me at all cannibalistic?
4. Hard pretzels
5. Bruschetta and garlic bagel chips


IF I WAS A BILLIONAIRE, I WOULD...
1. Be able to give a lot of money to the kinds of charitable work and research I believe in.
2. Make sure my parents and step parents never had to worry about their retirement.
3. Underwrite my own children's and grandchildren's educations and that of all sorts of other kids who'd otherwise never dream of college.
4. Travel the world, but still not stay in 5 star hotels.
5. Surprise waitresses and checkout people and other folks with low-paying jobs, who do them well and with a pleasant attitude, with ridiculously huge tips.


SOME JOBS I HAVE HAD
1. Painting my old high school
2. Laundress at a nursing home
3. Camp counselor at a special ed. camp
4. Teacher at maximum secure facility for juvenile delinquent boys
5. Chief cook and bottle washer


DIFFERENT PLACES I HAVE LIVED
1. Across the street from a football stadium
2. Next door to a graveyard
3. Across the street from a halfway house for the State mental hospital
4. Next door to a hog farm.
5. In what used to be the nurse's quarters for a hospital.


FIVE LIES
1. I am 5'8"
2. I weigh 120 lbs
3. I wear a size 4
4. I don't have to work out to maintain this
5. I feel full after I've eaten 2 carrot sticks


Then San tagged me with a foursies meme, though I'm omitting the ones I already covered in Suldog's tag.


4 Movies I have/would watch over and over again (Just to be difficult I'm going to give you quotes from the movies and you can tell me which flick they represent.)
1. "There's a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. 'Twould be a pity to damage yours."
2. "King? Well I didn't vote for you!"
3. "You're already a bastard. Might as well be an enlightened one. "
4. "Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window. "



4 people I want to "Bitch Slap right into the middle of next week"
1. The maniac driver I posted about over the weekend.
2. Dubya*
3. Billary Clinton*
4. No one else comes to mind at the moment.
*I am bipartisan in my loathing of powermad political types and yes, I do think BOTH of them are powermad.


4 People who email me regularly
1. People who want me to enhance my penis
2. People who want me to buy replica watches
3. People who want me to meet sexxy s1ngles
4. People who lack any ability to spell or apply any kind of reasonable syntax or sentence structure to their writing.


4 TV shows I watch..I so rarely get control of the remote so these are the shows that are most often on and I just happen to be in the room, not that I have chosen to watch them mind you.
1. Scrubs...Ok, it's funny and I laugh, but I think I have seen every episode 50 times now. Enough.
2. America's Next Top Model...Please find me a nice documentary. I think my IQ just fell 20 points.
3. Reruns of football games. I swear I didn't know they even reran football games. Watching them live is bad enough but watching a bunch of games from years ago...good gravy, that's a special brand of torment.
4. Bonanza reruns. Diana has an inexplicable fascination with this show.


4 Places I've visited
1. The bathroom
2. The psych ward
3. The jungle
4. The zoo
(Oddly, it could be said I never even left home for any of them.)


4 places I'd like to be right now
1. I the arms of a good man
2. Back in bed
3. On a warm beach
4. Under the hands of a skilled masseur/masseuse


4 things I'm looking forward to this year
1. Going to the beach
2. My best friend and I going away to celebrate turning 40 (but can we do that without actually turning 40?)
3. Isaac and Calypso finishing the school year. It's been a long year for both of them.
4. Diana finding a job so she can help put gas in the car for all the driving she wants to do.