Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Weird Wednesday-Political Lookalikes

Last week some time I stumbled across some news article saying genealogists discovered BarackObama is related to Brad Pitt and Hillary Clinton is related to Angelina Jolie. What this proves or why any of us should really give a fat rat's butt is beyond me but after pondering it deeply for all of 30 seconds I got a great mildly amusing blog post idea out of it. Now I am no Sudiegirl when it comes to captioning political photos (I swear that woman will singlehandedly maintain my tenuous grip on sanity during this election season with her political captions....Really! Go look around in her archives after you are have commented about either the brilliance of my post or its suitability for use as fertilizer.) but I did find my own way to have a bit of fun with some pictures of candidates.

Lots of us have plugged our own photos into this nifty little generator to see who we resemble. I don't think Barack favors Brad nor does Hillary resemble Angelina so who DO they resemble and could there be a connection?

First let's examine Barack Obama.

Mark Feehily: They have matched a man of color with an individual who appears to have no melanin production to speak of and who is quite possibly the pastiest white man on earth without crossing over into albino territory.

Kevin Spacey: Well, Obama demonstrated on the Ellen Degeneres show that he's got a few dance moves. I wonder if he can sing Bobby Darrin too.

Nelson Mandela: I guess I can see some similarity in the jawline. I'm thinking may have just revealed its own bias with this match up though.

Lance Armstrong: I dunno if I am seeing this match. Put Obama in some spandex and let me squint a bit.

Vin Diesel: All I can say is I reckon it's the ears.

Nicholas Cage: Well, A lot of folks seem moonstruck with Obama. Nick named his kid Kal-El (Superman's Krypton name).

Terrence Stamp: Apparently this guy portrayed Jor-El (Superman's father) in the series Smallville. Hhhmm....more subtle bias or could this be the beginning of some sort of internet prophecy?

Arnold Schwarzeneggar: Are you kidding me???? He's a square-jawed white Republican who can't even pronounce the name of the state he lives in and governs. Obama is a pointy-chinned African-American Democrat who knows better than to represent Illinoise. But I wonder, if he looses the nomination will he be back?

Ok, moving on to Hillary. And yes, this is where I reveal my bias. I was going to use a normal picture of her but when I did the image search the picture in the center is what came up and I just couldn't resist. My blog, my jokes.

Anastasia Myskina, Kylie Bax, Mina Suvari: What????? Even Anastasia seems to be rolling her eyes at the comparison.

Michael Jackson: BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! I guess the two of them go to the same eyebrow waxer. I can just imagine the conversation as each of them has their arches neatened. Michael breathily remarks how nice Bahrain is this time of year and Hillary reminisces over how the last time she was there she had to wear a flak jacket and dress like one of Michael's kids to avoid being shot by snipers.

Benita Ferrero-Waldner: I didn't know who she was but after exhaustive research taking about 15 seconds I discovered she ran for Federal President of Austria and lost. I can only hope Hillary mimics Ms. Waldner in this regard.

Marion Jones: Convenient self-serving story changes for each of them. Marion says...hhhmmmm, could be....

Diana Rigg: I'd die laughing to see Hillary wear go-go boots and a mini skirt like Emma Peel. Remember the flap over the centimeter of cleavage Hillary exposed a few months ago. This would cause rioting in the streets!

Jesse Jackson: I guess the resemblance comes from the bags under the eyes because it looks like Hillary keeps up with the upper lip waxes when she has her eyebrows done. I suppose it is exhausting for both of them to keep coming up with ways to pretend you actually care about the little guy and take credit for things they had nothing to do with.

Moving on to John McCain. This is the picture I wanted to use but the website kept rejecting it.

Kevin Costner: McCain is his long lost older Republican brother Dances With Elephants.

David Hasselhoff: Like The Hass, Sen. McCain's singing talents have gone unappreciated here in the US but I hear he's bigger in Europe.

Aaron Ciechanover, Bernard Pivot, Mortiz Leuenberger: A Nobel Prize winning scientist in a field I know absolutely nothing about, a French journalist, and a Swiss politician. I don't know enough about any of them to even make a decent joke. I'm disappointed (and far too lazy to do anything about it).

Mel Gibson: Well, I think McCain is a lethal weapon. Does that count?

Mark Wahlberg: If Hillary gets the Democratic nomination then I think for the first debate between her and McCain she should show up in her Emma Peel costume and McCain can stand there in nothing but Calvin Klein underwear like in the old Marky Mark days.

Barry Marshall: Whoever he is, this guy looks more like Alfred E, Neumann than John McCain. When asked about the ramifications of an indefinite US presence in Iraq and Afghanistan and the possibility of preemptive strikes in Iran McCain responded, "What, me worry?"


G-Man said...

David Hasselhoff..

Very funny stuff Limey!!


G-Man said...

The rejected pic of McCain that you showed?

How did you get a shot of him sitting on the john?


barman said...

I loved the Hoff stuff. That got my day going even without any coffee. That McCain clip was priceless.

You know I knew there was something about Clinton that I did not like, now I know. It must be that Jesse Jackson resemblance.

And of course we have the Obaminator.

Can we call it a mulligan and have a do-over with all new candidates? It couldn't get worse, could it?

Awesome post Lime, I will put it up there with brilliance for sure.

lime said...

gman, john on the crapper....i'm dying here. thanks for the return guffaw

barman, the obaminator! well done! ya know i sat here trying to come up with a terminator type name and failing...early morning is not my most creative time.

S said...

Im just a gonna say this a oncet:


S said...

I'm afraid that Obama does look a little like Arnold.

furiousBall said...

Hillary looks hot in that picture. I can't stand up from my desk now.

Casdok said...

Excellent post!!

barman said...

I heard two fairly commited Dems talking on NPR this morning. First let me say this one was black. She did not like Hillery and said there has to be more of a reason to vote for Obama other than his race. They said they may vote Republican for the first time ever. Good old Clinton is turning out to be one hell of a Republican. The more her and Obama fight, the more they are driving Democrats to the Republicans. Great job guys.

Anonymous said...

Terence Stamp played Zod...the evil criminal in Superman 2

lime said...

s, LOL @ your slogan and your assessment of the obamanator

furiousball, lmao! i'm sorry. i should have posted a warning.

casdok, thanks:)

barman, it's getting really horrid here in PA as the primary nears.

coopernicus, doh! thanks for the correction...I put this together to early in the morning.

Anonymous said...

Yum! Marky Mark days.... ::sigh:: I went to the store... sorry ;)

Hahahahaha... ok Hilary & Michael Jackson is just too funny!


lecram said...

your blog... your jokes... and a fun post. I've always been too afraid to do the celebrity look alike thing... figured I would just get the cast of Planet of the Apes... and not the human ones.

Bunny said...

I think the Barack-Lance connection is the smile. And you've got it right about the Vin-Barack connection being the ears!

Hillary-Mena? I'm not seeing it either. It must just be the expression.

John-Mel? Um, how old is that picture of Mel? Dang!

Sudiegirl said...

Rent "Boogie Nights" and you might want to change your mind about what Mark Wahlberg should wear.

Dirk Diggler, y'all...think about it...

San said...

Too funny, Lime.

But now you've got me worrying that Obama's ears aren't presidential enough.

James Goodman-Horror Writer said...

lol, those were just awesome!!! :D and Galen beat me to the punch with the McCain comment. :D Thanks for the laugh.

Breazy said...

LOL! I was thinking the same thing about the comparison between Obama and Vin Diesel!

That picture of Hillary must have been taken in the middle of a ten day no sleep time!

The McCain and Costner comparison has to be the line of the lips, that is the only resemblance I see.

Thanks for the laughs!

SignGurl said...

This made my day! Brilliant!

M said...

Well, a resemblence to Nelson Mandela gets my vote!

Actually, skin color doesn't seem to be an issue with resemblences. One of my look a likes was Samuel L Jackson and I'm lilly white.

VE said...

That's great stuff. Can't believe I missed this yesterday...