Lessons From a Father

I wrote this for Father's Day last year. If you don't recall it or if you are new to my blog since that time I'd appreciate if you took a moment to read it as it explains some of the background for today's post.

Growing up under my father's influence was fairly difficult at times. He's a hard man who can be impossible to please. He's an angry man who is easy to ignite. I'm not saying it was an unmitigated horror. It wasn't. It was just painful. I can't engage in some sentimental remembrance of tender times with him but I can think back over the lessons that have come from being his daughter. Some came from happy experiences, others didn't. As you read this, please do not read any of it with a tone of sarcasm. Although I can be prone to that, this is not one of those times. I just think any difficulty has its lessons and I don't want to waste the lesson, lest I have to repeat it.

From Dad I learned...

• Riding a motorcycle is a great joy in life.
  
• The best way to enjoy a thunderstorm is on the back porch with your dog next to you as you watch the lightning dance over a field.
• When you are 4, if you can sit on Daddy's shoulders the big waves in the ocean are not so scary.
• It is important to be precise in communication.
• It is important to be able to defend your ideas.
• Don't accept authority blindly.
• Some people will never be pleased with any effort you make so your effort should not be for their sake.
• Love is not always forever, sometimes people change their minds.
• Some people are givers, others are takers.
• Avoid angry people.
• Never let them see you sweat.
• Some people will not honor that which is honorable.
  
• Don't ask a question unless you are prepared to hear the worst possible answer.
  
• If you don't deal with your own wounds you're only going to wound other people.
• The pain you inflict ripples out farther than you care to see.
• Some bullies back down when you screw up the courage to confront them.
• Sometimes when you've long since given up waiting for a person to apologize, in a surprising moment, an acknowledgment of wrongdoing comes very quietly.

As I did last year I just want to thank the men who stop by here who are good fathers, who love their children, who nurture their children patiently and lovingly. I want to thank the men who may not be fathers but who have influenced kids in their lives in a positive way, who have inspired a child whether that child has been an extended family member, or a neighbor, or a student, or the child of a friend. To each of those men I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for making the world a better place for a child by offering the best of yourselves.