Monday, July 28, 2008


Last week Suldog put up a post that was meant as an example of subjects upon which he could expound endlessly. Among his commentors there were two of us who actually responded with our options. I emailed my responses but today, for lack of a better meme or topic, I present the meme-ification of Suldog's questions.

Coke or Pepsi? ginger ale
7-Up or Sprite? lemon water
Kool-Aid or Hawaiian Punch? bug juice

McDonald's or Burger King? Domino's
Wendy's or White Castle? subway
Soyburgers or Tofu Dogs? venison

Ginger or Mary Ann? the professor
Wilma Flintstone or Betty Rubble? barney
Laverne DeFazio or Shirley Feeney? lenny
Marge Simpson or Jane Jetson? george jetson
Olive Oyl or Peggy Hill? popeye

George Reeves or Christoper Reeve? dean cain
Adam West or Michael Keaton? george clooney (excuse me, i need a private moment here)
Clayton Moore or Klinton Spilsbury? tonto

Playboy or Penthouse? playboy (because Shel Silverstein and Jean Shepard used to write for it, yeah I read it for the articles)
Gallery or Hustler? never even heard of gallery
Sports Illustrated or National Geographic? NG (the pendulous pygmy boobs make me feel better about the effects of gravity on me, although i did enjoy rick reilly)

New York Times or New York Post? are we talking about toilet paper usage here? if so, charmin
USA Today or Your Local Paper? again with the TP...angel soft.
National Enquirer or Weekly World News? long live bat boy

Krispy Kreme or Dunkin' Donuts? grammy sold her own homemade donuts, there is no comparison here
Jell-O or Pudding? gimme some skiiiiiin
Ice Cream or Cake? carvel solved this dilemma i believe

Marijuana or Alcohol? booze
LSD or Peyote? i guess i will go with honoring the indigenous peoples
Heroin or Crack? plumbers?

Menthol Cigarettes or Non-Menthol? candy cigarettes
A Pipe or A Cigar? nothing associated with clinton please
Snuff or Chewing Tobacco? ack

Ivory or Dove? dr bronner's peppermint
Tidy Bowl or 2000 Flushes? lysol
Charmin or The Sears-Roebuck Catalogue? corn cobs

Alice Cooper or KISS? alice
Rush or The Guess Who? guess who
AC/DC or Black Sabbath? ac/dc
Deep Purple or Led Zep? Zep
The Who or The Rolling Stones? who
The Beatles or Chuck Berry? chuck
Jerry Lee Lewis or Little Richard? jerry

Baseball or Football? spare me the cheerleaders
Basketball or Hockey? puck you
Volleyball or Lacrosse? yes thanks

Protestant or Catholic? christian
Reform, Conservative, or Orthodox? still chosen
Atheist or Agnostic? unitarian
Big Bang or Creationism? who said god didn't start it all with a cosmic blast?
Evolution or Devolution? i think evidence is pretty clear we are all headed to hell in a handbasket

Slide, Swing, or See-Saw? swing

Wedgie or Cup Check? atomic wedgie

Married or Single? better to be single than wish you were
Monogamy or Polygamy? idealist or realist?
Gay or Straight? 90s or razors?
Straight or Curly? wild drugged out hippie hair as my children so sweetly describe my unruly mop. and i LIKE it that way.
Curly or Shemp? ok, here is where i beg of the rest of this set and plead ignorance. i was not allowed to watch the three stooges or lil rascals because as my mother put it, "they might put bad ideas in my head." i was, however, permitted to watch all the laugh-in and love american style i wanted. explains a lot about me doesn't it?
Shemp or Joe?
Joe or Curly Joe?

Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly? gene, oh yeah!
Ginger Rogers or Cyd Charrise? gene, oh yeah!

'62 Mets or '03 Tigers? '86 bo sox (ducks and runs. you know i think the world of you, Suldog, right?)

Superman or Spiderman? wonder woman
Batman or Captain America? batgirl
Dr. Doom or Lex Luthor? cat woman

Democrat or Republican? gagging
Conservative or Labour? shrugs
Capitalist or Socialist? greed is greed no matter how it is dressed
Anarchist or Statist? pfffft

Carnivore, Omnivore, or Vegetarian? chocolataraian
Vegetarian or Vegan? see above
Vegan or Starvation? see above

The Three Stooges or The Marx Brothers? let me slip out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini (wiggles eyebrows and flicks cigar)
Laurel & Hardy or Abbott & Costello? who's on first?
Martin & Lewis or Rowan & Martin? sock it to me!

The Munsters or The Addams Family? i can rock the cousin itt look
Bewitched or I Dream Of Jeannie? gotta rub me the right way
Wife Swap or A Kick In The Nuts? do i get to choose to whom i am swapped?

Underwear or Pajamas? birthday suit
Pajamas or Nude? sheets on skin
Both Of You Nude or One Nude & One With Pajamas? make it a double
Same Bed or Separate Beds? what is this 1950s tv?

Seat Up or Down? lid and seat down
Paper Hanging Over or Under? OVER, always OVER!

Boxers or Briefs? silk boxers
Baggies or A Speedo? baggies
Bloomers or Butt Floss? floss yer teeth not yer ass but i ain't a granny yet

Sock-Sock-Shoe-Shoe or Sock-Shoe-Sock-Shoe? birkenstock-birkenstock

Grecian Urn or Henway? about 5 lbs
And Don't Call Me Shirley or Take My Wife, Please? roger, over
Pie Fight or Genteel Social Satire Full of Clever Bons Mots? this is a dead parrot., and ex parrot, this parrot has expired, gone to meet its maker, joined the choir invisible...


NYD said...

I am very glad you chose the Marx bros. Or was it just Groucho?

Scintillating and enjoyable, thank you!

Casdok said...

Wonder woman, batgirl and catwoman!!
Love it!!
And thank you for your lovely comment on my blog x

Craver Vii said...

TP always over... Atta girl!!! If I'm at the house of a friend or close relative, and they have it WRONG, I'll fix it, and then get on the soapbox. (ha ha ha...)

Craver Vii said...

Er, that would be close friend or relative, actually. Sorry for that. I just couldn't think straight, knowing that some people load their paper to dispense from under. Aaaah!

Mona said...

I wish I could have tasted Grammy's donuts!

Popeye my fav too & so is wonder woman!

Maddy said...

I am so tempted to do this but I'd have to edit at least half of it which is completely incomprehensible. I think I need a crash course in American!

furiousBall said...

Lenny... interesting, I had you pegged as a Big Ragu kind of girl

lime said...

nyd, all the marx brothers but groucho was my favorite

casdok, and of those, catwoman was my fave

craver, i am very relieved you've got it right here.

mona, i need to find a picture of grammy making donuts so you can see.

maddy, give us the brit version

furiousball, actually you're right. i was more about the big ragu, and i wouldn't have been forever sending him for a cold shower.

lecram said...

Barney Rubble... really?

Rick said...

Funny post. I guess what you're saying is that you don't fit into anyone's particular category.

Keebler Elves or Pisbury Dough Boy?

Anonymous said... many good answers come to mind...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

loved your responses, as always...

EmBee said...

Always enjoy your twisted satire... And WHY, WHY? Can't the rest of the world see that the t.p. must always hang OVER??? But I'm sorry, it's ALWAYS gotta be 'The Beatles' babe!

lime said...

lecram, barney is maybe not so bright but he is loyal, funny, well intentioned, not irritable, and loves his wife

rick, betty crocker ;) yes, you've got me pegged

EmBee said...

And hey, can you share that donut recipe with us?

Suldog said...

Lime, I got almost as much kick out of reading your responses again as I did in your original e-mail. Thanks for playing along so superbly!

(But, should I have expected anything less? No, of course not.)

lime said...

cooper, why thank you!

embee, i am glad we agree on the tp issue, this is critical to civilized society. the beatles, meh. whatever. i don't hate em.

lime said...

suldog, thank you for such a superb set of questions!

lime said...

embee, sadly, that was a recipe that was lost.

Logophile said...

Ok, love it.
You know how I have been accused of having Oppositional Defiance Disorder?
Yah, I bet you have it too

barman said...

You know I used to work for a survey research firm and we did a lot of studies of new car buyers and poles on their political choice. One of the questions that we either asked or had our interviewers guess at was the sex of the respondent. Because of California (I kid you not) we had to have more than Male and Female for that question. Why do I get that came feeling when I look at your answers? I do enjoy the entertainment however.

Another vote for batgirl. Oh and gagging for sure on that other question.

Hey, just had an idea. I wonder if you (or someone) could turn chocolataraian into a political party. I might be tempted to vote for that.

Sock it to me… Why is it I keep seeing Goldie Hawn when you say that?

I have to depart from you here and go with Grecian Urn as I love the play The Music Man and it prominently features Grecian Urns.

Love you and your answers. Your Meme's are so much fun.

lime said...

logo, whatever could you mean by that? how ODD!

barman, only in CA would they require a third gender. we shall call it male, female, and "pat"

Kathryn said...

I am so in love with Gene Kelly!!!

I love your memes. So fun! :)

Anonymous said...

lmfao...'puck you' just about made me spurt out the big swig of Corona i'd just had...!!! hehheh ;) xxx

VE said...

Come on...women just don't appreciate the stooges. What's up with that? And wow, you didn't have fun at all with the rock and roll ones...straight up answers? I'm shocked!

lime said...

kathryn, gene was just yummy wasn't he?

guiness, hope your keyboard was protected

ve, don't blame me about the stooges, i wasn't even given a chance to appreciate them as for the rock....
Alice Cooper or KISS? billy idol
Rush or The Guess Who? prince
AC/DC or Black Sabbath? van halen
Deep Purple or Led Zep? the doors
The Who or The Rolling Stones? the monkees
The Beatles or Chuck Berry? elvis
Jerry Lee Lewis or Little Richard? prince
happy now?

david mcmahon said...


Or elevator?

(I know the answer!!)

M said...

gay or straight? 90's or razors?

ok. that is confusing. but probably the best answer i have ever heard.

SignGurl said...

Bwahahaha!! You are the meme queen!!

G-Man said...

All Hail TRINI!!!! QoM'sI

Dr Bronners...hahahaha I used that toothpaste for years!

Good job Michelle...G xo

misticblu said...

Hilarious! Did you know that if a man hangs toilet paper, 99% of the time it will be UNDER?!?! Dear abby says it should be OVER to show the pretty prints, besides that it makes for a quicker grab.

Beach Bum said...

Krispy Kreme or Dunkin' Donuts?

Krispy Kreme rules, I don't even see how Dunkin is making it in the South.

Rob said...

"Paper Hanging Over or Under? OVER, always OVER!" <---- Is that the equivalent of: "NO WIRE COAT HANGERS.... EVER!!!!!" I think so! ;-) (I happen to agree,BTW, that the paper is meant to be hung OVER the top of the roll -- but, it's a little hard for me to generate much passion about it one way or the other. Life is just too damn short to sweat the small stuff!)

"Adam West or Michael Keaton? george clooney (excuse me, i need a private moment here)" <----- WHAT????!!! I thought I was the only one who had that effect on you! *Sniff...* 8'-(

lime said...

david, escalator

m, think about it ;)

signgurl, why thank you!

gman, my minty freshness extends beyond just my breath

misticblu, it's all about the efficiency, baby!

beach bum, don't hate me but i seriously do not get the KK phenomenon

rob, if i can generate that much passion about tp just imagine how much i can generate when it really matters ;)

barman said...

TP makes sense to be over except...

under makes it harder for children and pets to unravel the darn roll. Se you just have to be open minded.

I must be part of that 1% that misticblu speaks of.

M said...

the gay 90's? is that a reference to the 1890's, cuz that was a looong time ago.