Last week Suldog put up a post that was meant as an example of subjects upon which he could expound endlessly. Among his commentors there were two of us who actually responded with our options. I emailed my responses but today, for lack of a better meme or topic, I present the meme-ification of Suldog's questions.
Coke or Pepsi? ginger ale
7-Up or Sprite? lemon water
Kool-Aid or Hawaiian Punch? bug juice
McDonald's or Burger King? Domino's
Wendy's or White Castle? subway
Soyburgers or Tofu Dogs? venison
Ginger or Mary Ann? the professor
Wilma Flintstone or Betty Rubble? barney
Laverne DeFazio or Shirley Feeney? lenny
Marge Simpson or Jane Jetson? george jetson
Olive Oyl or Peggy Hill? popeye
George Reeves or Christoper Reeve? dean cain
Adam West or Michael Keaton? george clooney (excuse me, i need a private moment here)
Clayton Moore or Klinton Spilsbury? tonto
Playboy or Penthouse? playboy (because Shel Silverstein and Jean Shepard used to write for it, yeah I read it for the articles)
Gallery or Hustler? never even heard of gallery
Sports Illustrated or National Geographic? NG (the pendulous pygmy boobs make me feel better about the effects of gravity on me, although i did enjoy rick reilly)
New York Times or New York Post? are we talking about toilet paper usage here? if so, charmin
USA Today or Your Local Paper? again with the TP...angel soft.
National Enquirer or Weekly World News? long live bat boy
Krispy Kreme or Dunkin' Donuts? pffft....my grammy sold her own homemade donuts, there is no comparison here
Jell-O or Pudding? gimme some skiiiiiin
Ice Cream or Cake? carvel solved this dilemma i believe
Marijuana or Alcohol? booze
LSD or Peyote? i guess i will go with honoring the indigenous peoples
Heroin or Crack? plumbers?
Menthol Cigarettes or Non-Menthol? candy cigarettes
A Pipe or A Cigar? nothing associated with clinton please
Snuff or Chewing Tobacco? ack
Ivory or Dove? dr bronner's peppermint
Tidy Bowl or 2000 Flushes? lysol
Charmin or The Sears-Roebuck Catalogue? corn cobs
Alice Cooper or KISS? alice
Rush or The Guess Who? guess who
AC/DC or Black Sabbath? ac/dc
Deep Purple or Led Zep? Zep
The Who or The Rolling Stones? who
The Beatles or Chuck Berry? chuck
Jerry Lee Lewis or Little Richard? jerry
Baseball or Football? spare me the cheerleaders
Basketball or Hockey? puck you
Volleyball or Lacrosse? yes thanks
Protestant or Catholic? christian
Reform, Conservative, or Orthodox? still chosen
Atheist or Agnostic? unitarian
Big Bang or Creationism? who said god didn't start it all with a cosmic blast?
Evolution or Devolution? i think evidence is pretty clear we are all headed to hell in a handbasket
Slide, Swing, or See-Saw? swing
Wedgie or Cup Check? atomic wedgie
Married or Single? better to be single than wish you were
Monogamy or Polygamy? idealist or realist?
Gay or Straight? 90s or razors?
Straight or Curly? wild drugged out hippie hair as my children so sweetly describe my unruly mop. and i LIKE it that way.
Curly or Shemp? ok, here is where i beg of the rest of this set and plead ignorance. i was not allowed to watch the three stooges or lil rascals because as my mother put it, "they might put bad ideas in my head." i was, however, permitted to watch all the laugh-in and love american style i wanted. explains a lot about me doesn't it?
Shemp or Joe?
Joe or Curly Joe?
Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly? gene, oh yeah!
Ginger Rogers or Cyd Charrise? gene, oh yeah!
'62 Mets or '03 Tigers? '86 bo sox (ducks and runs. you know i think the world of you, Suldog, right?)
Superman or Spiderman? wonder woman
Batman or Captain America? batgirl
Dr. Doom or Lex Luthor? cat woman
Democrat or Republican? gagging
Conservative or Labour? shrugs
Capitalist or Socialist? greed is greed no matter how it is dressed
Anarchist or Statist? pfffft
Carnivore, Omnivore, or Vegetarian? chocolataraian
Vegetarian or Vegan? see above
Vegan or Starvation? see above
The Three Stooges or The Marx Brothers? let me slip out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini (wiggles eyebrows and flicks cigar)
Laurel & Hardy or Abbott & Costello? who's on first?
Martin & Lewis or Rowan & Martin? sock it to me!
The Munsters or The Addams Family? i can rock the cousin itt look
Bewitched or I Dream Of Jeannie? gotta rub me the right way
Wife Swap or A Kick In The Nuts? do i get to choose to whom i am swapped?
Underwear or Pajamas? birthday suit
Pajamas or Nude? sheets on skin
Both Of You Nude or One Nude & One With Pajamas? make it a double
Same Bed or Separate Beds? what is this 1950s tv?
Seat Up or Down? lid and seat down
Paper Hanging Over or Under? OVER, always OVER!
Boxers or Briefs? silk boxers
Baggies or A Speedo? baggies
Bloomers or Butt Floss? floss yer teeth not yer ass but i ain't a granny yet
Sock-Sock-Shoe-Shoe or Sock-Shoe-Sock-Shoe? birkenstock-birkenstock
Grecian Urn or Henway? about 5 lbs
And Don't Call Me Shirley or Take My Wife, Please? roger, over
Pie Fight or Genteel Social Satire Full of Clever Bons Mots? this is a dead parrot., and ex parrot, this parrot has expired, gone to meet its maker, joined the choir invisible...