Monday, September 29, 2008

Points of Clarification

Thank you for the comments of support and encouragement over the weekend. I truly appreciate it.

I am still struggling with the nastiness that occurred last week. I have moved past the initial shock and pain and right now I am trying to contain the simmering anger. A simple, sincere, unqualified apology would be the equivalent of taking the lid off the pot and turning down the heat. Certain parties are hoping I will follow long established procedure by smiling, making nice, and pretending nothing happened. Ain't. Gonna. Happen. I am not going to pour gasoline on the fire (even though in some ways it would be reeeeeaally gratifying to do so) but there will be no resolution until I am offered an apology. Abuse, even if it is only verbal, is not something I will sweep under the rug.


"I was angry and I lashed out." That's an excuse, not an apology.

"I treated you terribly. It was wrong to do so. I am sorry." That's an apology.

After an apology perhaps we can begin to rebuild something.

27 comments:

Craver Vii said...

Yahtzee!!

Oh well, look on the bright side... at least it's Monday morning.

Oh, right.

Cocotte said...

No one seems to know how to apologize anymore. I'm sorry about that!

Hope you get that apology soon.

Mona said...

Craver Yahtzeeing :D Well I never...:D

Yes Lime, you are right about that. That is no apology. I think you are being taken for granted here & its time you put your foot down & really hard too!

G-Man said...

Stick to your guns Meesh!!!!!

Desmond Jones said...

Yup. Apologizing is a sadly lost art. In fact, I would even go a step further than 'I'm sorry' to 'Please forgive me'. Because that begins to put things on the road to reconciliation even better than 'sorry' does. . .

74WIXYgrad said...

Smiling, making nice, and pretending nothing happened would only result in you beating yourself up from the inside out. Not a good thing to do. I'm glad you're sticking to your guns.

I pray something gets resolved to your satisfaction.

furiousBall said...

if this was the NHL, you could just tap your enforcer on the end of the bench to go rough them up and set things right. life would be so much easier if it was more like hockey.

S said...

Saying you're sorry is very easy to do. It takes a lot more effort not to say it, and that's really the saddest part of all.

Have a good day, miss!

barman said...

Good for you and holding your ground. I hate to say it but it things like this that get caught up under your craw and fester only to surface at a later date much worse then it ever was before.

I hope you get your deserved appology soon. And when you do, please make sure you let that pressure go...

Craver Vii said...

Now that I've had my first cup of coffee...

Conflict resolution is a slippery slope between escape and attack. My prayer for you is that you find a good balance and a just outcome. That you would be able to use your humor as you dispense the right amount of grace without being walked all over. That both parties appreciate the other more after the hatchet is buried, and finally, that future tension can be offset by the good outcomes of this present scenario.

And again, that is not just a wish, it is the request I will bring before our Heavenly Father today. :-)

EmBee said...

Vipers bite when they're stressed too.

Suldog said...

Well, here's hoping you get what you need. In the meantime, we're here to listen, should you need that.

VE said...

You know snakes can be cooked over a hot grill and they aren't that bad!

Yes, sorry seems to be the hardest word... wait...that's a damn Elton John song. Oh no! I'm leaving now...

lecram said...

The grace of an apology is so rare these days. I hope it all evens out soon.

mssolitaire said...

HUGS!!! I hope your apology comes soon! I'm sorry you had to deal with such nastiness!

mssolitaire said...

HUGS!!! I hope your apology comes soon! I'm sorry you had to deal with such nastiness!

Kathryn said...

And an apology without actions taken to make it better is useless. I hope you get both soon.

(M)ary said...

In my experience the apology may not happen until the person needs something from you, and even then it may be half-hearted. Or hey, maybe this person will surprise you and morph into a genuinely sorry person committed to change.

Regardless, let me offer an apology.

I am sorry this happened to you!

Fred said...

An excuse can lead to an apology if the person thinks it through. Let's hope that happens in this case.

Beach Bum said...

I'm afraid I agree with Mary. From what I read and my own experience that person will not come anywhere near to such a thing until he or she needs something from you. One of the guys I work closely at the hospital with is to say the least is always looking to catch someone doing something wrong that he can show off to others and grandstand. Caught wind of this and he and I had a falling out until he needed me to take his on-call week. I wouldn't have but the senior guy in our small group got with me and convinced me that it would be best for me just to overlook his behavior for the good of the hospital and our duties.

Ella said...

damn snakes... hmpfh

Seamus said...

Hope for you that this finds resolution.

seventh sister said...

Comes a time when right is right and right is what you need. I hope for the best resolution for this situation.

Jocelyn said...

And the thing is, the apology is NECESSARY for the thing to ever heal and move on. Otherwise, you're just forced to be accepting and make excuses for someone who acted badly. I would put up with that from my children, much less and adult.

The viper needs to hang his head.

javajazz said...

i'm sorry someone has made you feel
so crappy.
why cant we just
be more kind
to one another?
you're too nice
to be treated
crappily.
xo

KFarmer said...

That's what I just don't get~ why can't people just simply say "I'm sorry" (and mean it) when they have done something wrong??? I'll tell you why from my stand point. Folks just don't want to own up to their misdeeds and mistakes.

RennyBA said...

Sorry I have not been around for a while - fall is a hectic season - but even more sorry to hear about your struggles - hope everything is better now dear blog friend.