Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Lime's Last Minute Valentine Gift Giving Guide.

Forget about chocolates, cards, and roses. Everyone is doing that. Do you want to be truly original this Valentine's Day? Let me share some fabulous gifts you could bestow upon that special someone. Everything here is for sale right on Etsy.com.


Here we have the Bright Yellow Banana Blanket, which is labeled "mature." Later the maker refers to is as a Cock Cozy sized to fit up to 8 inches and stretching to accommodate various girths. The knitter also apologizes for the potential tobacco smell this item may carry but speculates if you are ordering such a thing that may be the least of your worries. This unique item can be given by the thoughtful woman in Arctic climes wanting to make sure her significant other's tender bits are kept warm. Alternately it makes an attractive cover for the toys belonging to the unattached modern woman.




For the gentleman wanting to give his sweetheart jewelry but unable to afford diamonds here's a seriously creepy opportunity. These disturbing Arm Earrings will also appeal to the ecologically and socially conscious since their creator indicates she made the earrings to use of leftover parts from some other upsetting project. Plus, there's no worry about gems in jewelry being used to fund horrific wars using child soldiers in third World countries. You can wear these body parts proudly knowing you haven't contributed to anyone else loosing their arms in war.




Next we have an item which, according to the seller, is great for men who can't grown their own moustache or women who want to know how the other half lives. We are also told this Moustache Disguise is for the young at heart but not suitable for those under 14. I can't imagine why on earth that would be but I do agree they are far more potentially upsetting than a PG-13 movie.








Of course, if finances are too tight to afford any of these lovely suggestions you can just allow the bird on this Magnet to inspire you in your gift giving. Actually, I quite like these magnets. I think they are an amusingly snarky avian version of lolcats.

30 comments:

Desmond Jones said...

This is wickedly funny stuff, Lime; where in the world do you find it?

NYD said...

I must admit to having a certain fascination with the third leg warmers, but will I guide the missus to that particular site in order to procure a hand knitted sleeve to keep me dingle dangling? No. She will, out of spite, order one in the largest size available.

Logophile said...

Esty, for all your biazzaro needs and desires.
There is some funny stuff and there are some very odd folks.
Good finds

Mona said...

That is so Funny :D

In India there is moral police that is out to spoil our day. They are setting shops selling valentine gifts and cards to fire, since they say , it is 'not of our culture'!!

I wonder if they think that they were born because their parents held hands!

joan said...

So funny!

I wanted to thank you for posting a song from Amos Lee. I now have Supply And Demand. Great music!

Chris Wood said...

A willy warmer! Great idea.

lecram said...

I would so give these as gifts... especially the arm earrings... but I would only give one side.

Sort of explains a lot, huh? lol.

Cocotte said...

Those magnets are hilarious to me. I find birds to be both beautiful and kind of frightening.

Moannie said...

Decidedly Limealishious.

lime said...

desmond, i could tell you but then i'd have to kill you.

nyd, well you and the wifey have a very special valentine's day with that banana stocking ok?

logo, it never ceases to amaze me

mona, i think the moral police should all have to wear the items i featured today.

joan, amos is great, isn't he?

chris, well i don't have the necessary equipment for wearing one but it seems like it woudl be darned itchy!

lecram, oh man! now i am nearly compelled to go buy pair of those so you can have one arm and i can have the other. jimmy and janita rule! (we are so sick aren't we?)

cocotte, loved the magnets.

lime said...

moannie, say that five times real fast ;)

EmBee said...

I *heart* the birds.
:-)

Kat said...

You're gonna give me nightmares.

truckdriver_sefl said...

Those ear rings are just plain creepy....

Blither said...

I'm going with Mr Jones! This is wickedly funny!

Cheers Ms Lime!

Happy Heart Day to Ya!

Fortress Guinness said...

regarding moustaches and lolcats...i had a photoshopping friend that used to put little muzzy's on pics of kittens... and the series was called 'KITLERS'...!!!
i had to laugh...

(M)ary said...

last minute? there are still 2 1/2 days!

snowelf said...

Those snarky magnets are awesome. However, no boy of mine would ever need a cock cozy. heh heh heh...

:P

--snow

Jazz said...

Those magnets are great. They jewelry is indeed creepy. And I'm not going to say anything about the cock cozy...

barman said...

That is a Cock Cozy? I thought it was some sort of ear of corn. What a surprise. No thanks to the arm earrings. The mustache, cute. I have not wore a stache in years.

Now the magnet, that does look more like it. It probably would find a home on my fridge.

Why do I have a feeling if any of those gifts were actually exchanged ... it would be a mighty cold couple of nights?

citizen of the world said...

I find all these things (except the magnets) unusually disturbing!

citizen of the world said...

Acrtually, I LOVE those magnets. I went back and orderd some including "I love you in spite of the warning signs" for my boyfriend.

Polt said...

The Cock Cozy....now there's something you don't see every day, and yet, it's something every man should, especially those living in colder climes. :)

HuGS...

Poutalicious said...

I have so much catching up to do, as of yesterday i didn't know what in the wide world lolcats were. Seriously. The magnets sort of creep me out so I sort of agree with heebie-jeebie-thing. (I'm rambling.) I especially like the yellow private rayon coverlet item but it's not the right size for me; um, I mean, him. Is that you behind the mustachio?

Mona said...

Lime, now there is this campaign against the moral police brigade who are supposed to be 'kachchaa dhari' ( underwear wearers) . So all the people participating in this campaign has decided to send them 'pink chaddis' ( pink underwear) on the Valentine's Day, in order to encourage them to love. ( I am still wondering about the connection there, maybe they are being told to love girls, since these men went and beat up girls who were found frequenting pubs)

lime said...

embee, me too, hehehe

kat, i am deeply sorry

trucker, aren't they though?

blither, i don't want to ponder the minds that generate these ideas though.

guinness, ok, you need to post some of those kitlers at your place. NOW

mary, good point, but i was trying to allow shipping time ;)

snowelf, bwahahahaha. that's why i love ya, girl

jazz, really, what coudl be said about the cock cozy?

barman, you are a wise man

citizen, i am thinking of ordering some of them myself.

polt, but wouldn't it itch? really?

pouty, no the stache model was the person from the site selling the things, not me.

mona, so i am guessing a tom jones concert would never happen in india?

Jocelyn said...

Oh, that magnet makes me very happy.

mssolitaire said...

LMAO.... ok these are priceless!!!

nursemyra said...

I would totally wear those earrings

ed said...

A片,A片,A片,A片,A片,A片情趣用品,情趣,A片,AIO,AV,AV女優,A漫,免費A片,AIO交友愛情館,愛情公寓,情色,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色小說,情色文學,色情,寄情築園小遊戲,色情遊戲,嘟嘟情人色網,一葉情貼圖片區,情色論壇,色情影片,微風成人,嘟嘟成人網,成人,18成人,成人影城,成人圖片區,成人圖片,成人貼圖,UT聊天室,聊天室,豆豆聊天室,哈啦聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,聊天室尋夢園,視訊聊天室,視訊聊天

麻將,台灣彩卷,六合彩開獎號碼,運動彩卷,六合彩,線上遊戲,矽谷麻將,明星3缺一,橘子町,麻將大悶鍋,台客麻將,公博,game,,中華職棒,麗的線上小遊戲,國士無雙麻將,麻將館,賭博遊戲,威力彩,威力彩開獎號碼,龍龍運動網,史萊姆,史萊姆好玩遊戲,史萊姆第一個家,史萊姆好玩遊戲區,樂透彩開獎號碼,遊戲天堂,好玩遊戲,遊戲基地,無料遊戲王,好玩遊戲區,麻將遊戲,好玩遊戲區,小遊戲,遊戲區,電玩快打,cs online情趣用品,情趣,情趣商品,A片,AIO交友愛情館,AIOAV女優,AV,A漫,免費A片,本土自拍,自拍,愛情公寓,情色,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色小說,情色文學,色情,寄情築園小遊戲,色情遊戲,色情影片,情色網,色情網站,微風成人區,微風成人,嘟嘟成人網,成人,18成人,成人影城,成人圖片區,成人圖片,成人貼圖,成人文章,成人小說,UT聊天室,聊天室,豆豆聊天室,哈啦聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,聊天室尋夢園,080中部人聊天室,080聊天室,中部人聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室,苗栗人聊天室,免費視訊聊天,免費視訊,視訊聊天室,視訊聊天情趣用品,情趣,情趣商品,愛情公寓,情色,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色小說,情色文學,色情,寄情築園小遊戲,色情遊戲,AIO交友愛情館,一葉情貼圖片區,情色論壇,色情影片,色情網站,微風成人區,微風成人,嘟嘟成人網,成人,18成人,成人影城,成人圖片,成人貼圖,成人圖片區,成人文章,成人小說,A片,AV女優,AV,A漫,免費A片,自拍,UT聊天室,聊天室,豆豆聊天室,哈啦聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,聊天室尋夢園,080中部人聊天室,080聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室情趣用品,情趣,情趣商品,愛情公寓,情色,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色小說,情色文學,色情,做愛,寄情築園小遊戲,色情遊戲,AIO交友愛情館,AIO,色情影片,情色網,微風成人,嘟嘟成人網,成人,18成人,成人影城,成人圖片,成人貼圖,成人圖片區,成人文章,成人小說,成人電影,麗的色遊戲,自拍,A片,AV女優,AV,A漫,視訊交友網,視訊,視訊交友,免費視訊聊天室,免費視訊,視訊聊天,視訊聊天室,UT聊天室,聊天室,豆豆聊天室,哈啦聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,聊天室尋夢園