Do you eat a lot of fast food?
Well, I eat a lot of venison and the deer are pretty fast when they bound through the woods but by virtue of the fact that I am eating it one could say the deer weren't fast enough.
Besides your mouth, where is your favorite spot to get kissed?
How about you just start kissing different spots and I'll let you know when you've hit one I like. Mmmm, yeah, just like that...
Were you happy when you woke up today?
I believe I covered the Ozzy Osbourne issue last week...
How about now?
What about now?
Have you ever streaked?
How many times do I have to tell you I have never dyed my hair and never will.
Are you an understanding person?
Standing under what? Right now I am sitting down.
Do you eat candy on a daily basis?
Why would I eat Candy? I'm not a cannibal or a lesbian.
Does it make you happy to get letters?
In High school sports? Behind my name? In alphabet soup?
Do raisins belong in cookies?
Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! What is wrong with you? Cookies should have no nutritionally redeeming qualities at all.
What's your screen name?
I haven't named my screens. They sat in the garage all winter and Mr. Lime put them back in the doors recently. You think just because I name our vehicles, plants, and my guitar I have to name my screens too?
Walking into a party, what's the first thing you notice?
The corpse on the floor
Kiss on the first date?
I'm not a date, I'm a lime.
What's one thing you've learned from a good friendship gone bad?
Bury the corpse before it goes bad.
Would you ever donate blood?
Whose blood? I've donate over 5 gallons of my own. I have a few other candidates I'd gladly let you bleed dry.
Have you ever felt replaced?
Well the little pads on the chair legs fell off so I had to put new ones on so the floor didn't get all scratched.
Are there deerheads covering any walls in your house?
Diana's got the one on the left when she was 13. Mr. Lime got the one on the right when he was much older than 13. They were good eatin'. Yes, I decorate them for Christmas.
Are you good at telling jokes?
At telling them what?
Have you ever driven without a license?
Driven nails? Driven someone crazy? I didn't know I needed to be licensed for these activities.
Do you wish you had smaller feet?
Then I'd get knocked over by a strong gust of wind
Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
The opposite of sex? You mean like a celibate friend?
When ordering sushi, what do you get?
Sick to my stomach thinking about having to order it.
Do you write in cursive or in print?
I chisel Sanskrit into granite slabs
Who was the last person you sat next to?
Harvey the rabbit
What were you doing at 10 am?
Do I look like a fortune teller? It's only 7:38 am now when I am filling this out.
Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
The top side
If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
Bigger feet so I could withstand gale force winds
Do you know how to play poker?
Playing with pokers is dangerous, especially if they are red hot.