Tuesday, May 26, 2009


Do you eat a lot of fast food?
Well, I eat a lot of venison and the deer are pretty fast when they bound through the woods but by virtue of the fact that I am eating it one could say the deer weren't fast enough.

Besides your mouth, where is your favorite spot to get kissed?
How about you just start kissing different spots and I'll let you know when you've hit one I like. Mmmm, yeah, just like that...

Were you happy when you woke up today?
I believe I covered the Ozzy Osbourne issue last week...

How about now?
What about now?

Have you ever streaked?
How many times do I have to tell you I have never dyed my hair and never will.

Are you an understanding person?
Standing under what? Right now I am sitting down.

Do you eat candy on a daily basis?
Why would I eat Candy? I'm not a cannibal or a lesbian.

Does it make you happy to get letters?
In High school sports? Behind my name? In alphabet soup?

Do raisins belong in cookies?
Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! What is wrong with you? Cookies should have no nutritionally redeeming qualities at all.

What's your screen name?
I haven't named my screens. They sat in the garage all winter and Mr. Lime put them back in the doors recently. You think just because I name our vehicles, plants, and my guitar I have to name my screens too?

Walking into a party, what's the first thing you notice?
The corpse on the floor

Kiss on the first date?
I'm not a date, I'm a lime.

What's one thing you've learned from a good friendship gone bad?
Bury the corpse before it goes bad.

Would you ever donate blood?
Whose blood? I've donate over 5 gallons of my own. I have a few other candidates I'd gladly let you bleed dry.

Have you ever felt replaced?
Well the little pads on the chair legs fell off so I had to put new ones on so the floor didn't get all scratched.

Are there deerheads covering any walls in your house?

Diana's got the one on the left when she was 13. Mr. Lime got the one on the right when he was much older than 13. They were good eatin'. Yes, I decorate them for Christmas.

Are you good at telling jokes?
At telling them what?

Have you ever driven without a license?
Driven nails? Driven someone crazy? I didn't know I needed to be licensed for these activities.

Do you wish you had smaller feet?
Then I'd get knocked over by a strong gust of wind

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
The opposite of sex? You mean like a celibate friend?

When ordering sushi, what do you get?
Sick to my stomach thinking about having to order it.

Do you write in cursive or in print?
I chisel Sanskrit into granite slabs

Who was the last person you sat next to?
Harvey the rabbit

What were you doing at 10 am?
Do I look like a fortune teller? It's only 7:38 am now when I am filling this out.

Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
The top side

If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
Bigger feet so I could withstand gale force winds

Do you know how to play poker?
Playing with pokers is dangerous, especially if they are red hot.


furiousBall said...

you would make an awesome politician ;-)

Pouty Lips said...

I'm drinking my morning coffee and it went snorting through my nose when I read the candy answer.

NYD said...

I'm figuring that the dinner discourse and repartee at your place must be amazing.

Desmond Jones said...

I suppose I shouldn't mention the late comedian John Candy. . .

And hey. . . what would you accept in trade for one of your granite slabs?

Oh, wow. . . Word Ver = 'bibled'. . . which, I suppose, is true enough. . .

lime said...

furiousball, i am not sure if i was just insulted or complimented :P lol

pouty, coffee as a sinus wash, sounds most unpleasant

nyd, you have noooo idea

desmond, john candy...touche...well done!

S said...

Ok Im a west coaster so I have to ask, Why do your screens sit in the garage all winter and then get put back on in the spring?

Cant you just leave them on all the time? I dont get it. WIndow and door screens are permanent thingies on the west coast.

And the deer heads, um, now that is something I never expected to see, but in retrospect should have expected to see at your house, at least they got nice earrings.

Hilary said...

You are to accepting memes as Suldog is to accepting awards. You both deepen my laugh lines. :)

Jazz said...

How do I love thee, let me count he ways.

Suldog said...

"How about you just start kissing different spots and I'll let you know when you've hit one I like."

That did it for me. I was no good after that. I wasn't much good before it, actually.

Craver Vii said...

A cuneiform blogger?

Lovely Christmas ornaments, Deer.

lime said...

s, in the winter we replace the screens with glass panes so as to have a little less heat loss. just switch em back and forth according to season.

hilary, yeah i collect em like a dog collects fleas

jazz, well shucks now, i am blushing

suldog, i'd be no good if someone actually took me up on the offer.

craver, kinda rough on the monitor though, huh?

Ananda girl said...

Wow! You are the queen of evasive answers! And so funny too. Thanks for the laughs... there are many here.

Anonymous said...

i can never resist a challenge...especially one with so many possibilities....

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahha.... I too wish I had bigger feel for those pesky gale wind forces! ;)

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

too funny!!! I shall file this for later...but couldnt outdo you on this one...LOL

Fred said...

You need to write jokes for a living. I'm still laughing as I write this.

Mona said...

Lol@ eating Candy!

You are the unparalleled queen of Memes! :D

Beach Bum said...

Like everyone else I was snorting so much after reading this post I blew a portion of the pepsi I was drinking and a couple of buggers out my nose.

G-Man said...

Candy IS Dandy!!!

Cheesy said...

I have to agree with the others... Candy was PRICELESS!

Shadow said...

heeee heeee heeeeee, you just cannot answer a question, can you...

DianeCA said...

Again I worship your sarcasm! hehehe And I thought Sandskrit was out these days....Lime's Mimes are best!!

Jocelyn said...

I love that I never have to breathe deeply and roll my eyes when you do a meme. It's some of your best material, and that's saying something.

San said...

Somehow I just KNEW you were a Sanskrit chiseler.