Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Hit Me With Your Best Shot...But Only Metaphorically

It has been confirmed that I have sustained a concussion. I hasten to add it was through no fault of my own therefore it did not occur as a result of any risk taking behavior. This means the story of how I sustained said concussion is just not very interesting so I need your help to polish it up and make it worthy of the symptoms and the orders to rest.

The orders to rest are somewhat at odds with the flurry of activity in the next 2 weeks surrounding Diana's impending graduation and party, Calypso's Sweet 16 party, the end of Isaac's baseball season, and the arrival of my mother-in-law on Saturday. I am also still waiting to hear if I got the job I applied for. I am told I am in the final running and my references are being checked before my file is forwarded to the diversity office.

I have declared today pajama day with a general moratorium on driving the mom taxi...mostly. So give me an exciting story to go with the foggy brain I have sloshing around in my skull. Be creative. Be outlandish. Make me heroic. Make me astounding. Feel free to include Hugh Jackman.

26 comments:

G-Man said...

I hate to tell you this Trini...
But Hugh Jackman is Gay!!!!!!!!!
Sorry to be the one to break the news to you.
But on the flip side, Earnest Borgnine still likes women..YAY!

Sorry about the head......

(M)ary said...

You are dashing down a country road in your red convertible, a filmy tie dyed scarf wrapped around your head, blowing in the wind. You see a handsome hitchhiker with a guitar by the side of the road. Perfect. Your guitar is in the back seat. You will pick up the hitchhiker and play a duet!
So you stop. He gets in. He is the spitting image of Hugh Jackman...You put the car in reverse accidentally, then you put it in drive and move forward. You hit the brakes quickly because you see a bunny rabbit hop in front of your car. Your guitar comes forward from the back seat and smacks you in the head. Concussion!

Suldog said...

Well, my scenario involves Hugh Jackman and a headboard. I'm sure you can imagine the rest, and probably in a fashion that would make my telling it here entirely not fit for a family audience, so I'll just leave now and let you get on with the fantasizing :-)

Desmond Jones said...

Well, you know, since my court date yesterday, I AM Hugh Jackman. And I am NOT gay. . . (not that there's anything wrong with that. . .)

See, I'm thinkin' you just got a little carried away with one of yer Limey-kitchen-dances, an' banged yer head on a counter-top. But that's not so very interesting, either, is it?

An' listen, I'm sharing some of yer space. Picked up the birth-mom from the airport last night, and since she's on CA-body-time, we didn't get to bed till way-too-late. . .

But yeah, with two graduations and general end-o-school stuff, plus the planning stages for the summer-stuff (and, of course, 7M's spring and summer baseball teams BOTH have games scheduled this week), our life is a little psychotic just lately, as well. . .

S said...

Ziplining?

I think Mr Lime did it when he bonked you on the head with the car lid!

Shadow said...

the sky fell on your head...

Jazz said...

I'd like to help you out, but my brain is pretty much mush too. And I don't even have the excuse of a concussion.

Craver Vii said...

Diversity office? Are you kidding me? What ever happened to "best qualified for the job?"

Craver Vii said...

Ouch. When I said that, I smacked my head just a little too hard and I'm afraid I might have gotten a...

No, that's your story, isn't it?

mssolitaire said...

Ok, I'm using first person, but the first person is you! :) hahahaha!!!

I was reading the news the other day and realized Hugh Jackman was in my tone. I mean Oh. My. God!!!!!! Hugh Jackman!!! I found out he was going to a wonderful nice restaurant and so I decided to dress up in my best tye died outfit and head to the restaurant. Of course when I get there, it's packed, but with my fabulous outfit on, I was ushered into the restaurant immediately because, you know, I'm someone important!
Hugh Jackman was there and upon seeing me choked on his food! I mean NO!!!!!! So I rushed over to him and proceeded to give him the heimlich maneuver. I saved his life, but in the procedd spilled his water. As I was stepping to the side to make sure he was ok and his pulse was returning to normal I slipped and bashed my head on the table, subsequentially giving myself a concussion.

Therefore I am banned to the couch for a while, but Hugh sent a wonderful vase full of roses and a request for a private dinner at the Hersey Resort for us two.

San said...

You were rushing into the arms of Hugh Jackman. You tripped on a throw rug and hit his______. It was incredibly hard.

Craver Vii said...

You sat at a bar and drank until the guy next to you looked like Hugh Jackman. Then you tried to stand up. You woke up with a concussion.

misticblu said...

LOL @ San.
HOpe you feel better soon, try to relax and not think about the next thing you have to do.
Sending you good vibes!
I am afraid I can't beat San's story, it is too perfect.

NYD said...

Are you sure it wasn't daydreaming about Hugh that gave you the concussion in the first place?

terfa

EmBee said...

San wins... hands down!
Or hands ON... Oh, never mind.
:-)

~Tim said...

Does San have personal experience with this?

Feel better sooner.

Mona said...

Galen is jealous of Hugh Jackman!

I nearly had a concussion myself when I went sprawling on the floor of Home depot!

Breazy said...

sorry to hear about your noggin, I hope you feel better soon.

:)

Beach Bum said...

Here is what happened:

You won the lottery bring hundreds of millions of dollars into your life and Hugh heard about you good luck and was in the area working on a movie and decided to come over for a visit.

So excited about your winnings and Hugh at your door you overlook the appearance of time traveling aliens in your house. Caught you by surprise you offer them cookies as they pull out their laser guns demanding your recipe for pot roast. Your recipe is a cherished family secret classified by Homeland Security and under protective custody stored in a empty mayonnaise jar under the Pentagon for its value to American culture and its utter deliciousness along with JFK's brain, the frozen body of Walt Disney, and the Rosewell aliens that actually came to Earth for Chinese Food and decided to stay.

Hugh has joined you in house and the macho charisma of his character Wolverine is real and the ensuing battle destroys much of the house until a bunch of MIB's show up and kill the aliens and using stolen alien technology rebuild your house, along with wiping your memory for the last couple of days, even of the lottery ticket.

There is a another episode to this story but I've used all my double super secret connections to find out what happened and I've said too much already.

All I will say is that Hugh got home safely with strange looking bruises on his neck and with a silly smile on his face.

Cheesy said...

LOL not to imaginative but could be true! I lost my balence and beaned you with the bad bad foot!

gab said...

Sorry... I cant help. HUGS

Jocelyn said...

I warned you years ago about that cauldron you use for tie-dying.

It was only a matter of time before the ritual Raising of the Cauldron to the Sky Gods Before the Dyeing (remember Kunta Kinte in ROOTS when he was born?) ended in tragedy. Your upper arm strength isn't what it used to be, and that thing weighs 22 pounds.

Of course it would topple.

Ananda girl said...

You have a million things to do to get ready for the sweet sixteen, graduation and upcoming baseball game. Your in-laws will arrive soon and you are feeling the pressure. You notice you are out of laundry soap and rush to the market to replenish your supply.

While there, you check the bargain aisle and stoop to look at an over sized can of pears... when the ground begins to shake.

A man behind you yells "Watch out!" You look up to see that it is ubber sexy Hugh Jackman. As you crouch a 6 pound, 12 ounce can of chili, no beans falls on your head.

When you awake, a pimply faced stock boy hoovers over you protectively.

"What happened?" you ask confused.

"Man it was sooo cool." He croaks, "Hugh Jackman tried to warn you, but it was too late. When that can of chili no beans took you out, he gave you mouth to mouth and once he was sure you were going to revive, he said he had to rush off..."

You touched your lips with trembling fingers. Was it possible? As if reading your mind, the stock boy told you; "He said it was a shame, you tasted like his favorite flavor... lime."

Ananda girl said...

Sorry it took me so long, Lime. I had a ton of crap to get done today. But obviously, I've been thinking about you and Hugh. lol

Hey, you feel better and take it easy. I know,being a mom and all the junk happening this time of year for your family... good luck with that! But seriously, I hope you delegate and rest up. A concussion is no joke.

airplanejayne said...

Dear Lime,
Please forgive me. I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined myself being capable of running over a good friend. Especially you: my favorite pole-dancing twin friend.
But when I saw Hugh just standing there - buckass nekkid....and when he beckoned, "Gorgeous! Come here!"
I was just sure he was talking to me, and me alone. I wasn't even aware you were there.
Yes, yes, I know - you were standing right in front of me.
But damn! Did you see the size of his pen--

Sorry...

Again, my most sincere and deepest

::sigh:: I said deepest

-deepest apologies for the injuries you suffered due to me.

On the good side - Hugh is definitely NOT gay. Oh -- and although he doesn't use any of those silly blue or white pills, I may still have to make a phone call to the doctor -- how many hours is an erection dangerous after?

Hilary said...

All those crazy thoughts in your brain, along with your upcoming activities and obligations.. and Hugh Jackman. Your head simply could not accommodate it all without swelling some, and bumping into your skull. Hold a tye-dye cold cloth to your head. You'll feel better in the morning. If you're lucky, HJ will still be there.