Monday, August 10, 2009

Meme or Death

1. Can you fill this out without lying?
Is there a particularly compelling reason why you even need to ask?

2. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
Something that went in hard and came out soft. Oh, it was a stick of gum, you pervs.

4. Where was your default picture taken?
Near de fault.

5. Last person you rode in a car with under the age of 20?
I was under 20 far too long ago to remember. Plus, I don't consider it a particularly momentous occasion that merits recalling. Besides, I can't even remember who I rode with yesterday.

6. Name someone that made you laugh today?
The cast of Monty Python

7. How late did you stay up last night and why?
By "up" do you mean vertical, maintaining a positive outlook, or in orbit?

8. If you could move somewhere else, would you?
I might shift my weight to my other butt cheek.

10. Which of your friends lives closest to you?
The one I have tied up in the closet.

11. Do you believe ex’s can be friends?
I don't know. Y? Maybe if they mind their Ps and Qs.

12. Calling or texting?
Smoke signals

13. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
I've never felt about him. He's kind of standoffish about me putting my hands on him.

15. Where is your biological father right now?
I've never met him. I don't even know his name. How the heck would I know? But if you know, feel free to pass the information along.

16. Where are you at right now?
Why have you included a superfluous preposition in that sentence?

17. What bed did you sleep in last night?
Uuuuhh, exactly how many options do you think I have?

19. Who took your profile picture?
Someone took it? The rat! When I find out who, that person is really going to get a piece of my mind! And they darn well better give it back! (I mean give back the picture, not my mind, but if they try to take my mind they better give that back too. A mind is a terrible thing to loose.)

22. Are you mad about anything?
Mad about you, baby.

23. Do you think relationships are really worth it?
You haven't even quoted me a price yet. What's your best offer?

25. Are you a bad influence?
When I'm good I'm very, very good. When I'm bad I'm better ~Mae West

26. Night out or night in?
How about a night in and out?

27. What items could you not go without during the day?
Oxygen molecules

28. Would you share a drink with a stranger?
Listen, just because I used to swap gobstoppers with my best friend when I was 7 doesn't mean I'm letting a complete stranger sip out of my glass now.

32. How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
I have the right to remain silent.

33. Do you hate anyone?
Hate is such a strong word.

34. If we were to look in your inbox, what would we find?
My hand forcefully whacking you upside the head for invading my privacy.

35. Can you easily tell if someone’s fake?
Yes, the waxy skin and glassy gaze is a dead giveaway.

36. Has anyone ever called you a perfectionist?
Only people who have no standards.

38. What song is stuck in your head?

39. Someone knocks on your window at 2 AM, who do you want it to be?
At 2am, I'd be inclined to hurt anyone who knocked on my window.

40. Wanna have kids before you’re 30?
You're about a decade too late to be asking.

41. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Hugh Jackman

42. Can you whistle?
Sure, I just put my lips together and blow.

43. Do you sleep on your side, stomach, or back?
I sleep suspended by my feet.

44. Do you think too much or too little?
I think juuuust right.

47. When is the next time you will see the person you like?
I like lots of people.

49. Can you handle the truth?
It's an intangible thing. How am I going to put a handle on it? Would epoxy work?

54. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
Are you suggesting the last person who said this was not being honest?

55. Did you have an exciting last weekend?
THIS was my last weekend? Ever? Gees! Why didn't you tell me beforehand? I would have made sure it was exciting.

57. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Have you been paying attention at all? N-E-V-E-R!

59. What’s something that can always make you feel better?
Being felt better.

60. Will this weekend be a good one?
Well, not now that you told me the one that just passed was my last one!

61. What do you want right now?
Another weekend.

62. Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing?
Apparently you've forgotten about this picture.

63. Look behind you, what do you see?

A misspent youth.

64. Have you ever worked in a food place?
"A food place." I must say, your eloquence is astonishing.

66. Any summer plans for 2009?
I was supposed to have a plan? Gees, I just keep missing all the important memos.

67. What’s on your schedule for tomorrow?
Do you have any idea how to do anything spontaneously?

69. Would you like some cake?
Depends upon my other options.


Fi from Four Paws and Whiskers said...

OMG I have had to wait until I can see again to put this on - so many tears rolling down my face... nearly hysteria.
Thank you
LOVE it!

NYD said...

I am never dissapointed with the amount of giggles, gurgles, guffaws and grunt produced by your answers to memes.

But upon reading them I have determined two things: you are the princess of prevarication and if I eveer decide to send you a meme I will first edit it for any grammatical gaffes.

You make me smile!

Suldog said...

I would like to point out that the first question is fairly impossible to answer without having seen the rest of the questions. Who writes these things?

Anyway, great job with it, as usual. Nobody gives better meme than you!

Kat said...

I think I just peed a bit.

And man, do I love Eddie Izzard! :)

Desmond Jones said...

You are, as always, the Queen of the Quiz-meme. Altho, I couldn't help noticing, there seem to be a few gaps in yer counting. . .

7 - I can think of at least one other possible meaning for the word 'up', and I was last night (or is that just incredibly rude of me to say?)

15 - (*sigh*) What do you suppose was the point of including the qualifier 'biological' in the question?

22 - Aw, shucks, I'm flattered. . . But I'm a happily married man. . .

26 - Oh, I SO agree. . .

44 - That's generally been my experience of you. . .

59 - makes sense. . .

62 - cute pic. But now, I suppose we'll have to take both of you out to the city gates to get stoned. Or were you already when you wrote this?

lime said...

fi, glad you enjoyed and welcome!

nyd, i would embrace a meme written by you because i'm sure it would be a hoot and a half. i'm all about the smiles. glad i gave you some.

suldog, i have nooo idea who writes these things. certainly not someone with a great command of the language.

kat, LOL, as long as i didn't start contractions.

desmond, i deleted questions that bored me because i didn't think anyone would really want to read through 69 questions and answers. i didn't fix the numbers though just to see who would notice. you have met my expectation. ;) and no i wasn't stoned. the only thing i was on was benadryl.

Ananda girl said...

Hahahaha. Oh by the way... I'll take cake, please. hee hee

Boy Sheri Lewis is shorter than I even thought!

secret agent woman said...

What in the world is a default picture?

Anonymous said...

How old were you and Suldog when you had that picture taken together?

Eddie Izzard is my all time favourite comedian, funny man, stream of consciousness reporter.

airplanejayne said...

superfluous preposition!

death or cake?!?!?!?

Hugh Jackman!!!

-just a few of my favorite things....

S said...

Cake please.

Suldog said...

Moannie is yanking our respective chains, Lime :-)

lime said...

ananda, oh sorry, we weren't prepared for the run on cake and we only had three bits

secret agent, ya got me

moannie, that's actually mr. lime and me when he was 23 and i was 19.

apj, i'll let you eat cake. i'm having hugh.

s, tastes of human

suldog, how do you look in a dress?

Brian Miller said...

lol. too much.

(M)ary said...

8. If you could move somewhere else, would you?
I might shift my weight to my other butt cheek.

Let us know how the world looks from the perspective of the other butt cheek!

(M)ary said...

who is this eddie izzard dude?? cake or death is he is hot without the makeup--i just googled him. (interesting with it.)

Beach Bum said...

6. Name someone that made you laugh today? The cast of Monty Python

Politicians on the news today did it for me.

27. What items could you not go without during the day?
Oxygen molecules

I loved that one!

As far as Sheri Lewis is concerned I always had a feeling she was cavorting with demon possessed socks.

Anonymous said...

Shari Lewis is the Spawn of Satan

Anonymous said... know why... ;)

Jocelyn said...

You know, when you dress as a man, you look a bit like Our Hugh...

I'm so glad you have memes for your smart-assery; imagine how the world would reel if you had to toss all of your attitude right at it!

Fireblossom said...

Ok, now I've got the giggles. #13 was my favorite.