Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Oh the Irony!

Raise your hand if you have teenagers who keep their rooms like a pig sty.



Yes, it seems to be a common problem. My daughters' rooms are so slovenly one of them won a swinefest contest over at G-man's place. Calypso's room is the first one depicted, Diana's is the last. Take a moment to take a gander. Though I warn you, it's horrific and not for those with a more delicate constitution.



I have coaxed, nagged, bribed, and threatened the girls trying to convince them that the state of their rooms really needs to be improved. Finally, I gave up and shut the doors. However, during Diana's senior year of high school I suggested on more than one occasion that her roommate would not likely wish to live in such a pig sty.



Today I am here to say I stand corrected. I recently had a phone conversation...no, scratch that. I recently listened to a 30 minute diatribe about the revolting ways of Diana's roommate (henceforth known as Miss Piggy) at college. Mind you, I have not actually witnessed the state of the room since shortly after move in so this is all second hand. According to Diana, her roommate would likely challenge Calypso for the title of Swinefest Pig Sty Queen.



The list of complaints in no particular order:


  • Miss Piggy goes through a bag of lifesavers a day, tossing all the wrappers all over the room.

  • Diana empties her not even full trashcan nightly. Miss Piggy could empty hers every 6 hours but doesn't, mainly because it's been upside down for the last 4 days as of the time of the phone rant. Diana is keeping track.

  • Diana nightly puts her books and clothes away and gets out what she will need in the morning. Miss Piggy clomps around at 6am whining because she can't find what she needs in all the piles of crap all over the place.

  • Diana also lifts her side of the rug to let all the candy wrappers, water bottles, and other detritus of the day roll back onto Miss Piggy's side. "Mom, you know I want to walk barefoot but I CAN'T! I wind up with a dozen lifesaver wrappers stuck in between my toes and then they collect all the crumbs all over the place!"

  • Miss Piggy's boyfriend Kermit spends a LOT of time in the room. Kermit and Piggy have lots of arguments where they pick up trash and throw it at each other. They often miss and junk lands on Diana's bed and desk.

  • Miss Piggy's pillow has been on the floor for the last three days. It makes Diana sick to think she might put her head on it. (This coming from the girl who didn't change her bedsheets for about 3 months.)

And the final complaint which just about made me split a gut laughing.



  • Diana can only sleep facing the wall because the idea of waking up in the middle of the night and seeing the filth is too disturbing to her.

These are only the complaints related to cleanliness or lack thereof. I haven't even shared the ones about how Miss Piggy and Kermit whine endlessly or how Piggy eats up all of Diana's snacks or in the first week used up the 2 cartridges of ink Diana brought for her printer.

That said, Diana does seem to be enjoying her classes and making other friends.

After Diana took a breath and I could stop laughing (yes, I am an evil mother who is enjoying this far too much) I just said I was glad something was motivating her to be a bit tidier and reminded her how I told her before she ever left that her college education would occur as much outside the classroom as in it.

23 comments:

S said...

Pig Sty Karma at its best!

Desmond Jones said...

I am smiling wryly. Because I'm maybe just the tiniest bit kinder than Diana's mom (besides which, I don't know Diana nearly as well. . .)

But it seems that perhaps she wasn't completely deaf to your admonishments; she was just waiting for life to drive the lesson home for her. . .

When I was a freshman, the leader of the Christian group I was part of used to hold the weekly small-group meetings in my room, just so my roommate and I would tidy our room at least once a week. . .

Cocotte said...

Oh, that is rich and I too laughed at College Daughter's roommate complaints last year, though it was more about the stench and the food the girl ate.

I have to admit, I thought my kids were messy, but those pictures far outdo any mess my kids have ever made.

Desmond Jones said...

OK, I just went and checked out the photos at G-Man's. Impressive. . . Most impressive. . .

But it's probably just as well that I've never actually taken photos of my kids' rooms. . .

Jazz said...

Funny isn't it how what goes around comes around. Now she has to live with "herself". Laugh some more Lime, you deserve it!

Hilary said...

My own irony is that my son is in the military where he MUST keep a neat space. He suffers.. oh how he sufferers. Yup, they're mostly all alike. :)

Mona said...

I agree with Susie! It is Karma at its best :D

Craver Vii said...

Isn't there something about a messy room in Dante's Inferno? No? Well, there oughta be.

Speaking of the netherworld, word verification is "unpardo."

Jeni said...

I'm loving this piece! Mother's Revenge exists and not just when the grandchildren arrive.
My son kept his room while he was still at home like a proverbial pig sty. His sisters weren't much better either come to think of it. Apparently the Army changed his ways though because a couple years ago, he had a roommate for about 15 months or so who drove the son a bit bonkers with his slovenly ways -wouldn't put anything in the garbage, wouldn't wash up any dishes, or clean ANYTHING. However, I have noticed when Sonny Boy comes to my house, he still hasn't learned how to clean the mud off his shoes before tracking through to the kitchenm, living room, bathroom, etc.etc.!
One of these days I'm gonna return that favor to him!

cube said...

Heh heh. How sweet it is. I have two and they both have messy rooms.

Kat said...

Haha! That is hilarious! I would have been laughing too. ;)

I don't have any teenagers just yet, but I was a pretty messy teen. The minute I got my own place I changed my tune. I suppose looking at it as a parent now, that is terribly unfair, but at least I'm a tidy person now. ;)

Ananda girl said...

What a hoot! I love it. My two oldest used to be piggies... but they grew up and are now totally disturbed by the younger sibs. What a difference three years makes!

G-Man said...

Ahhhh Yes....
Back when I used to be clever!!

mssolitaire said...

wow that's one messy roommate!!! OMG. I think I need to go home and clean my room right now! Hahahahahahaha!!!

It's good to hear Diana's doing well at college.

secret agent woman said...

Me, me! Both my kids have frightening rooms. But so did I as a kid, and I'm reasonably neat now.

Beach Bum said...

My son's room is always a mess. He simply had no ability to put anything away and screaming has no effect. So I have gotten to the point I only have him clean it up when I start to think his clothes move on their own.

Although I may have to reconsider that strategy, after helping him search for a missing school book I found an old plate with green stuff in it that I think was once mac and cheese.

(M)ary said...

oh. my sympathies to Diana!! i think this is one of the lessons of college, how to live with other people ? no, actually, i think the lesson is probably...wow, my family IS wonderful.

for a different kind of girl said...

I had a college roommate who used to make wall art with her trash. I wish I was kidding. Her walls were a tapestry of candy bar wrappers she'd cut out or fold or crunch up to spell out her love for her then-boyfriend. She'd set off her work with the scent of the multiple open cans of Vienna sausages she'd leave all over the place, so sadly, well I know the tales of these roommate landfills!

Jocelyn said...

I am howling--and feeling so grateful I never have to have a freshman year roomie again. But you are so right: the lasting lessons here have nothing to do with the classroom.

snowelf said...

I know..I know...I know that life giving Diana a taste of her own medicine is good, but I am just twitching at the thought of her having to stay in that room with Miss Piggy. I don't think I could stand it...ugh. I just feel so so sorry for her.

--snow

cathy said...

OH MY GOD !

I shout at my kids if they don't clean under the bed when they are sent to tidy their rooms. I feel all saintly now. LOL.

I shut the front door when the house is a mess and declare, " Nobody leaves until it is clean." I have a hunch that in a year or two from now this tactic will get me trampled.

Suldog said...

It amazes me when someone makes another person's space a sty. It's one thing if you want to live in one yourself, and I've been known to fill a bedroom - which only I used - with nastiness, but being so inconsiderate that you'd throw refuse on the floor of a place you share... unspeakable.

Lolly said...

It warms a mother's heart, doesn't it? :)