Monday, September 21, 2009

Heigh Ho Heigh Ho, It's Off to Work I Go

Yep, you read correctly. I have joined the ranks of the gainfully employed. I will not call myself a working mother because I have been working ever since I became a mother. I'm just going to be collecting a paycheck now, which is something I haven't done since I was pregnant with Diana. So far I've worked 3 shifts as a chiropractic assistant and in that time I've already had a few...um...interesting moments. One involved a prospective patient going absolutely batshit crazy in the reception area over being asked for her driver's license or other form of picture ID and the privacy forms she was requested to fill out. When I say apeshit crazy I am not employing hyperbole. I mean, "Can we get some Haldol and a straitjacket here?" Oh wait, I work in a chiropractic office. That means no pharmaceuticals.

In any event, said prospective patient was busy ranting about the lack of integrity and ethics our office has and the unreasonable privacy forms and various other transgressions as well as making various threats and yet...get ready for this...DEMANDING to be treated. As she went on her tirade on my third day all I could think was, "If this practice is so offensive to you why on Earth would you want anyone here to treat you?" Being the new girl, who is still very much learning the ropes and who was staring into the maw of an unhinged lunatic, I opted to keep that question to myself and let the more experienced folks generate alternate responses. After the doc calmly informed the whacko that she had lost the option to be treated at our office the raving nut dragged her husband out by his nuts with their two pitiable offspring. Then one of the other assistants looked at me and said, "I think you just got your hazing."

This is going to be an interesting ride. Wish me luck.

31 comments:

misticblu said...

God I love me some chiro!! Congrats on easing back into the work force. Does it conflict with your desire to sleep in on non-carpool days?

Cocotte said...

Wow! Congrats on the new job! Does this mean fewer posts :(

Mona said...

YAY!
Welcome to the bandwagon :D

Congratulations! I am so glad for you!

snowelf said...

Hazing indeed...Your new job sounds way fun!! Who knew people threw fits at the chiropractor...

And of course, Congrats, Lime. I'm so happy for you. :)

--snow

Michelle H. said...

Congrats! If you can survive that, you can conquer the world.

Jazz said...

YAY!! Oh the stories you'll have. All of them carefully edited to protect the guilty of course.

Margie said...

Not surprised... About 8 years ago, I worked for 3 days at an eye-care center... In that short 3 days I was introduced to all manor of crazy and some of them 'worked' at the office. I found out after my 3 day tenure one of those crazies was also embezzling (got away with over $12K!)

Being a homemaker really shields us from the reality (like reality TV) of the outside world.

Best of luck to you Lime! If anyone can, YOU'RE the one to inject a bit of off-beat sanity to the mix.
:-)

Margie said...

...And yes, after 3 days, I threw myself a retirement party.
WOO HOO!

Desmond Jones said...

Oh, once you settle in to the point of not feeling like The Newbie, you are gonna have such fun with this job. . .

But listen . . . which is it - batshit or apeshit? It's important for the more anal (HAH!) of your readers, that you keep your shit properly sorted out. . .

Craver Vii said...

Congratulations on your hazing. Welcome to the freak show.

I started collecting bizarre exchanges in a "crazy box." At the time, those experiences may have been tense, but they provide a good laugh later.

VE said...

Working? As in a job? What a pain in the neck... I'll say a little prayer for you as I figure what I want to do with the day...

Hilary said...

Oh congrats.. I'm so pleased for you. :) And for us.. if we get to hear more stories like this. ;)

Lapis Ruber said...

MAny congratulations and I hope it all works out well for you.

S said...

Oh yeah I forgot to tell you....
Sometimes working with the public SUCKSSSSS donkey balls!

But take that to the bank of Vickie (the undy drawer cache)

Have an interesting day at work, and come to think of it, you are going to have LOTS of blog fodder for us!

Suldog said...

Oh, my. Maybe you should bring some drugs for YOU, just in case you run into another one of those types?

Seriously, congratulations on the job!

Logophile said...

Congrats, you little money-maker!

As for the crazy, well, at least you get paid to deal with it now
:p

secret agent woman said...

Congratulations. And don't worry, you get used to the crazy people. :)

jinksy said...

Nothing like being thrown in at the deep end! May you swiftly learn to doggy paddle...

Fortress Guinness said...

aaahhh...the daily grind and the occasional lunatic...fantastic...!!! sounds just like our place...congrats Lime xxx

~Tim said...

So when someone has her panties in a wad, seeing a chiropractor is the wrong specialist. Good to know.

Luck, Lime!

The Zombieslayer said...

Wow. Maybe she should consider not seeing that chiropractor? This is a customer I think you can afford to lose.

The Zombieslayer said...

Oh, good luck. :)

(M)ary said...

oh yeah! u are in for some fun.

congratulations, i think you will be an asset to the office.

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Moannie said...

I am hoping that this comment wont go crazy like the three before me.

Congrats on the job, Lime, feet...ugh! But if it means posts like this I ready to fight my aversion. As a nurse I saw some nasty conditions.

Cheesy said...

Sometimes you just HAVE to love batshit crazy... blog fodder! Hugs gurlie and congratz!

Jocelyn said...

Sweetheart, this is fabulous. Not the nutjob; the fact that you get paid to roll your eyes at the nutjobs. Talk about blog fodder...

cathy said...

See, you are employable:)