Mr. Lime has built a bird feeder and a nesting box for our yard. This Spring we had a house wren take advantage of the box. We were excited when seven little eggs appeared. And by little I mean about as big as my thumbnail. Itty bitty. Still, it was exciting to see.
Eventually they hatched. It looked like only three of them got that far but boy were they hungry.
They grew and started to get feathers. I had hoped to get one last picture of them looking more developed before they flew out on their own but then next time I checked they were gone.
And so it goes...thinking you've got just a little more time. Then suddenly the young ones are gone. This week Diana moved to Georgia. She's been on her own before but had been at home the last year saving up money to take the next step. She's now over 800 miles from where we are and I have to admit that though I am happy for her I'm a little sad for me because Georgia ain't quite as accessible as when she was just a couple hours west of here. When I was her age though I moved to an entirely different country so I guess I can't complain. It's her time to fly now.
Last weekend Calypso came to me as I was cooking dinner, put her arms around me, and just wanted a long hug. I was more than happy to indulge her. It's not often a teenager asks for a hug. Then she started to sniffle on my shoulder and I asked what was wrong. She sobbed a little and said she really wants to do the year long internship she's been hoping for and she really wants to go to college but she really doesn't want to leave home because she's going to miss me. I felt a bit of a lump in my throat. If all things were as they should be and she were in good health I'd have no real reservations about her heading out into the world. I'd be excited for her far more than missing her. I want her to pursue her dreams out in the world but I'd be lying if I didn't confess to a significant amount of concern for her physical well-being though I don't want to convey to her a sense of her being insurmountably weak. I just listened and reassured her that wherever she went and whatever she did she'd always have a mom to come back as long as I'm living. Then I wiped up her tears and told her it's normal to feel uneasy before such a big transition, even more so given what she has been through this year.
Flash forward a few days...Calypso has been posting a different photo each day over on her Facebook page. It's a meme-ish sort of thing with each day intended to represent something else about the people doing it. This week I came home and found I'd been tagged in one of her posts with the following notation and picture:
[09] Share a picture of the person who has gotten you through the most:
It was close with a couple other people too, but in the end, she's my mama ♥
It's been such a hard road for her this year. We still don't have answers for her as to why she is so ill, though we continue to seek. She has persevered admirably in ways I would not have anticipated. I've been so proud of her. Seeing that on her FB page reassured me that she gains of support from me even though I so often feel so helpless to make things better for her. Yep, it was my turn to cry then.
This is the look of a woman who just handed her car keys to her newly licensed driver... on a dark night... when it's raining... and said driver is taking her two siblings out for fast food.
This is the look that occurs as I hear the garage door open... and the van back down the driveway... after I've delivered the "All passengers will be silent and keep their extremities to themselves and the radio will be off because a call informing me of 3 dead children will make me a dead mom" speech.
Yeah, this is one of those changes I am REALLY not happy about. However, like Suldog, I am pretty adaptable even in the face of unwelcome change. May I say, I'm looking forward to the change where I am confident about this whole thing and not beset by panic when my kids go out for a snack.
Breathing deeply and being zen like Logo....I am the pothole the van swerves around... AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! It's not working!
Yep, you read correctly. I have joined the ranks of the gainfully employed. I will not call myself a working mother because I have been working ever since I became a mother. I'm just going to be collecting a paycheck now, which is something I haven't done since I was pregnant with Diana. So far I've worked 3 shifts as a chiropractic assistant and in that time I've already had a few...um...interesting moments. One involved a prospective patient going absolutely batshit crazy in the reception area over being asked for her driver's license or other form of picture ID and the privacy forms she was requested to fill out. When I say apeshit crazy I am not employing hyperbole. I mean, "Can we get some Haldol and a straitjacket here?" Oh wait, I work in a chiropractic office. That means no pharmaceuticals.
In any event, said prospective patient was busy ranting about the lack of integrity and ethics our office has and the unreasonable privacy forms and various other transgressions as well as making various threats and yet...get ready for this...DEMANDING to be treated. As she went on her tirade on my third day all I could think was, "If this practice is so offensive to you why on Earth would you want anyone here to treat you?" Being the new girl, who is still very much learning the ropes and who was staring into the maw of an unhinged lunatic, I opted to keep that question to myself and let the more experienced folks generate alternate responses. After the doc calmly informed the whacko that she had lost the option to be treated at our office the raving nut dragged her husband out by his nuts with their two pitiable offspring. Then one of the other assistants looked at me and said, "I think you just got your hazing."
This is going to be an interesting ride. Wish me luck.
The past few years Lecram has hosted a Sarong to Summer post. I've joined the fun each year since he started it. Today is Sarong to Summer '09 as the weather gets cooler and the days a little shorter. I haven't had time to fiddle with my camera and computer to try to make them play nice with each other but fortunately I got a couple of sarong pictures when I went to the beach in July.
I look back and think about the one brief escape I got to the beach. It was much needed at the time. It would have been nice to have another one or two but I am glad I got that chance considering the recent totaling of Beulah the Minivan of Love and the uncertainty that was ahead. I remember sitting on the beach and just staring at the water and the sun as it sank below the point on the opposite shore...wondering about some of the changes I knew were coming and others that may or may not.
Sarong to Summer. It had its good and its bad. It's the close of one season and the start of a new one...in more ways than what is merely reflected on the calender or thermostat.
As I mentioned, the finishing of the quilt came down to the wire. I finished clipping the raw edges the morning we had to take Diana to school. Then I had to take it to the laundromat to wash and dry. It took a loooong time to dry. What was I to do while sitting there waiting. Oh, I can take a Slice of Lime picture!* Tada!
Also as previously noted, I had just enough time to throw the quilt on the line and take a few pictures before it was time to load up Jezebel the truck and head out looking like the Clampetts so we could deposit Ellie Mae Diana at one of them there fancy colleges. At this juncture I'd like you to take note of the expression of misery on Calypso's face. The child is not happy about her sister being away. Isaac, on the other hand, sang the following ditty to the tune of "Ding dong, the Witch is Dead." Ding dong she's finally gone, I can't wait. It's gonna be great! Ding dong the belligerent one is gone.
Since I was somewhat rushed upon returning from the laundromat I forgot my good camera. Dangit! The rest of the pictures are with my camera phone which doesn't do so well in certain situations. While Calypso was sinking into depression, I was heartened to note all the dorm staff bedecked in brand new tie dye shirts.
Exhibit A on the rotten results the camera phone gets in low light. We got Diana all settled in (note the quilt on the bed). For her sake I was glad to see the walls were a basic white, not the putrid institution green when I was a lowly freshman at this very same school a long, long time ago. It was also clear to see that while we thought Diana had taken everything but the kitchen sink she was far more restrained than what we saw being hauled into a number of other cubicles. Oh, and they now have cable TV hookups in each room! You gotta be kidding me! We weren't allowed a TV in our rooms at all! There was one TV in the lounge, no cable, and you'd better hope you liked whatever everyone else liked to watch. Cable TV in the room...is THAT what the room and board fee goes for? Sheesh.
It was kind of sweet to see what sorts of "comfort" items Diana packed to take with her. There was a little pillow she made in Home Ec., a couple of stuffed animals, and most touching to me....Silky. Silky is the blanket I designed and cross stitched for her when she was a baby. Once upon a time it had a satin binding she liked to fold into a point and hold in her pudgy little hand to flick while she sucked her thumb. Silky's binding has been worn to a fray. So here sits Silky atop the newest comfort item, the quilt now dubbed "Fuzzy."
Everything was in order so we had one last hug. Good luck, kiddo. We love you.
*No Limes entered washers or dryers during the process of cleaning the quilt or preparing this post.
So yesterday was the big day, my first face to face job interview in 19 years. I was nervous beforehand and felt like throwing up after it all. I felt reasonably calm during the interview, which was loooong. Then again this is the only interview I've been on in forever so what do I know about what's long or short. It seemed long to me. I know I dazzled in a couple areas and fell very flat in a couple. The rest I think I was at least ok. In addition to sitting with the hiring committee, I had to later meet with the library director, who is himself relatively new. He was not messing around and threw a couple of hard balls. He was direct with me so I was fairly direct with him. I know they are interviewing into next week so I won't know anything before that.
Once I got home I kept rolling things over in my mind and trying to wrap my brain around what a monumental shift it will be if I get this job. Then there were a couple of situations that cropped up which sent me right into meltdown mode. Then the self-flagellation commenced.
Ok, no more neurotic silliness. I'm pronouncing this Dance Party day, because that's a good antidote. Everybody dance now! (And then tell me what you think is a good tune to bust a move to. I like this one and Santana's Jingo.)
I haven't done this in 19 years. Today I have a phone interview for a job. About a month ago I dropped of a resume, cover letter, and list of references for a library assistant job. That act alone made me feel like throwing up. I've called several times since then and kept being told the resume review process is taking a long time. As time dragged on I thought I had little chance of ever being called. How good could I possibly look on paper since I have been an at home mom for the last 18 years? Every other applicant will have more experience than me. Yesterday, I got called so they could schedule me for a phone interview today. AAAIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!! I'm a bundle of nerves. Whether I get the job or not I am counting that at least I look good enough on paper to call for an interview.
Any prayers, positive thoughts, or good mojo you want to send my way at 1:45 PM EST will be most appreciated. Whatever the outcome I just want to do my best.
Now if you'll excuse me I need to go try not to vomit.
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