Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Most Annoying Christmas Meme Ever

Ok, first one slight little issue with the authoress of this meme, who I am sure is a wonderful sovereign in her own realm. However, this *cough* self proclaimed Meme Queen *cough* hasn't visited this dominion where the Grand High Exalted Mystic Empress Lime reigns. I will give praise to her for generating some fun themes for memes and to Cooper for generating some absolutely hilarious responses to earlier memes, which drew my attention in the first place. For this week I propose an alliance between our respective monarchies in the interest of peace in Blogland and goodwill toward all.

Now, on with the meme...

1. What is the most annoying Christmas song?
Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey. I am sure if it were played at Gitmo the entire civilized world would be far more outraged by our treatment of those prisoners.

2. Name one annoying thing that happens to you each time you get together with your family during the holidays.
Dad always wants to show the kiddies his flamethrower. Someone always goes home with their eyebrows burned off. The char marks on the cars are always a pain to clean off and the years when the gas tanks explode and half the neighborhood burns down....gees, just so freaking annoying.

3. What is eggnog? Think about it. Does anybody really know?
I'm fairly certain it's the nasal (beakal?) remnants of chickens and their handlers who have been struck by bird flu.

4. Don't take this personally but there are lots of fruitcakes walking around. Have you encountered any real live nuts lately?
You mean like this?

5. Why were the nine Lords a'leaping in those annoying tights???!
Probably because they hadn't put into practice the advice in the above video and their Christmas balls were painfully constricted.

6. What is the most annoying Christmas gift you've ever received?
Floam. And really, with a name like that it sounds like some sort of post holiday affliction of the mucous membranes as a result of excessive partaking of egg nog (and remember what I've already concluded THAT to be). If this were the case it might not be so annoying because a course of antibiotics might rid you of it. No chance with actual "as seen on TV" Floam. That crap hardens into a foul smelling, furniture staining substance about as easily removed as concrete. It's evil stuff. Any uncle who bestows it upon his niece (thus cursing her parents) ought to be force fed the nasal secretions of a thousand infected hens and their handlers...through a snot bong.

What did you do with it??
I disposed of it while wearing a Hazmat suit and plotting my revenge. Gak proved to be a suitable weapon for counter attack several years later.

7. Let's admit it: Christmas, with all its splendor and goodwill, can also be a pain in the royal patootie. How do you plan to circumvent annoyances this year and enjoy the season?
Well, I've already considered burrowing into the ground next to Punxsutawny Phil and refusing to emerge until Groundhog Day but those accommodations may be rather cold and somewhat less than comfortable. Additionally, Cooper already stole my alternate answer of being catatonic so....

How about a beach front bungalow on Maui?

Mele Kalikimaka indeed!


VE said...

Now THAT's what I needed...a good lime meme for the holidays...

secret agent woman said...

If you burrow in with Phil you risked being yanked into the arm in front of a crowd. Not a pleasant way to end a nap.

Craig said...

You are absolutely spot-on as re both egg nog and Floam. . .

The local science museum often runs little hands-on labs where the kids make 'slime'. Which is a sorta-kinda homemade gak. Except you gotta keep it in the fridge, or it breaks down into a kind of misbegotten chemical soup in a ziploc bag. Which, of course, the kids never seal properly. . .

Michelle H. said...

Burrowing into the ground with the stupid fat rodent, Punxsutawny Phil? Christmas can never be THAT annoying.

Great meme!

Anonymous said...

Keep this up and you risk being crowned the funniest woman in blogland.

Merry christmas me dear.

S said...

Shouldn't you be wrapping presents?

Kat said...

You are the queen of memes, IMO. :) hehehe

G-Man said...

All Hail Queen Lime!!!!!

Cocotte said...

Dear lord......#1 is truly annoying! Merry Christmas, Lime!

Ananda girl said...

Hahaha... funny stuff. I don't think I'll have a cup of nog this year. eewwww.

Add playdough to the Gak and Floam list... oh and glitter.

I like Schwetty Balls for Christmas.

Hey... the last post was a blast. I totally enjoyed that one.

Merry Christmas to all lime followers and of course, to you and yours lime.

EmBee said...

"Your testicles and you?" What exactly was he saying with this video? Am I clueless because I lack testicles? Frankly, I'm confused.

Are we to surmise by this video that one with testicles should not engage in being kissed by Betty Boop or possibly her lookalike, for fear said testicles will 'balloon' and eventually burst? Should the FDA be looking into this?

Please Lime, no more scary PSA's.

G-Man said...

On second thought, that Fruit Cake looks delish

Jason said...

I really like your blog. I am a first-time visitor, but I observe every site I submit a comment to. I have a humor blog myself, which I hope to be a top place for people to come and laugh. Life is hard enough and you sometimes need to just sit back and laugh a little.

I'd like to exchange links with you to help spread traffic around to each. Keep up the good work. You can contact me by simply placing a comment on my site.

Happy Holidays!


Jocelyn said...

When my kids were 3 and 6, I took Floam on the airplane with us when we flew to Guatemala.

We are no longer allowed to fly Delta.

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Mike Golch said...

Great meme,I really enjoyed the testicles one.
Now the reason for my visit Cliff(of wixygrad fame) has awarded you a Top Banana award.Congrats to you.