Her Majesty, Queen Mimi of Memes has requested we fill in the blanks this week. The Grand high Exalted Mystic Empress Lime shall do so in the parentheses.
1. If I never see (my father-in-law picking at his empty eye socket) again it will be too soon.
2. Should I meet my Maker tomorrow, I would ask for one more day on earth to (make a meter to measure meek maters).
3. Never in my life have I (wished I were an Oscar Meyer wiener) like I did today.
4. I should always allow more time to (smell and stop the roses).
5. I should've never listened to (Barry Manilow) while under the influence of (early pubescent mood swings).
6. I never (have accidents) in my car but I should always carry (clean underwear) with me just in case.
7. I should spend more money on (bobs & johns) because it makes me happy. I should spend less money on (bills) because it makes me sad.
8. (Chewed bubble gum, the same piece of toilet paper, Neil Diamond, Ebola, the list is endless really) should never be shared with strangers.
9. I should tell (you) that I never really meant to (imply Neil Diamond resembles a deadly virus and used Charmin or gum because a more apt comparison would be having teeth drilled while listening to fingernails on a chalkboard) .
10. Never in a million years would I want you to know (what a slug smoothie tastes like).