Monday, May 03, 2010

Mini Meme

Jocelyn has a brilliant young daughter who has a penchant for writing surveys and alphabetizing the responses from friends and family in three ring binders. This weekend I was sent this year's survey. Within an hour of emailing it to her I was informed it had been printed out, labelled with my name and home state, and properly binder-ized. I nearly wept with joy over the reference/cataloguing librarian potential this girl exhibits. When I get my MLS and I am finally a children's librarian I want this girl to be my sidekick!

Anyway, back to the survey...Anyone who has read me for any length of time knows what I can do to a meme. Therefore, you also know some of my responses may not be appropriate for a 10 year old to read. Since I really like Jocelyn and think her family is very groovy and I very much would like to continue being friends with her I opted to answer in a proper manner when responding to her daughter's questionnaire. I was also motivated by the quality of question #4 and the child's grasp of grammatical rules, which seem to escape many a meme writer. I intend to demonstrate my ability to be decent by including my original responses but given my inability to be completely serious at all times I will follow them with blog-worthy answers.

1. Rank your favorite colors. The colors will be blue,brown,black,green,purple,
10 yr old: I can't choose a favorite because the ones I don't choose will get their feelings hurt. It's one reason I like tie dye. Then I can wear them all at the same time.

Blog: Ok, here is where I reveal the OCD side of me. I'm really disturbed that the list she gives us is not in some semblance of rainbow order. I'm the kid who ALWAYS put her crayons and markers away in rainbow order. I sort Skittles and M&Ms into rainbow order but then I eat them in order of the flavor I like least to the flavor I like best...after I've eaten the extra ones in each color category so all the piles are even. What? You have a problem with that? The only way I can deal with the psychic trauma of this mish-mosh list of colors is to assume she has ordered it from her favorite to her least favorite color. Please someone give me some crayons or markers or candy to sort. I'm getting the shakes.

2. What subject did you hate the most and why?
10 yr. old: Trigonometry because I am not very good at math and the teacher was the second worst teacher I ever had in my life so it made it even worse.

Blog: Trig because having a dickwad teacher who thinks if he writes convoluted equations all over 2 different boards and you copy them into your notebook you will somehow miraculously understand what the hell any of it means without a word of explanation.

3. Where have you always wanted to visit?
10 year old: Greece

Blog: Hugh Jackman's lap

4. What is the kindest thing you have ever done for or to someone?
10 year old: Wow, what an intriguing and difficult question. I think the recipient has to determine what has been kindest. I just try to treat folks in the way I want to be treated and sometimes people come back and say it was a great kindness I gave them. Sometimes something as small as a smile or a kind word can be a great kindness for someone who most needs it. Other times a kindness can be much bigger and a far greater sacrifice.

Blog: Letting someone live to see another day.

5. What was your favorite school you attended and why?
10 yr old: I loved the college I went to because it was a time when I had a chance to grow without interference and to meet so many people from so many different places and learn so much from them.

Blog: The school of life, baby.

6. What do you think is the best invention ever and why?
10 year old: The educated part of me says the printing press so that more people could have access to books. The part of me that likes to be comfortable says toilet paper, and indoor plumbing.

Blog: Chocolate, you really need to ask why?

7. What age do you wish to be and why?
10 year old: Best to just be happy where I am than to wish for something I can't be again or to spend so much energy anticipating the future that I miss the present.

Blog: Eighteen was pretty nice, no physical pains due to multiple physical traumas, also the brain had not been rattled so as to cause the short term memory to go to crap.

8. What makes you feel better when you are having a tough time?
10 yr old: Sincere kindness in the form of a hug and a listening ear. A hot fudge sundae with peanut butter ripple ice cream doesn't hurt either.

Blog: Plotting revenge

9. What is your favorite dessert to eat?
10 year old: Pretty much any dessert that doesn't involve bananas (I'm allergic to them) or coconut (I only like it in savory dishes).

Blog: Hugh Jackman...dipped in chocolate

10. What field trip will you never forget and why?
10 year old: Going to Washington, DC in 6th grade was pretty memorable because it was several days long and I had to stay in a hotel. I felt very grown up going to a big city overnight without my mom.

Blog: Diana's elementary school field trip to the Bronx Zoo when one kid who absolutely refused to use the restroom before departure wound up requiring a Coke bottle be passed to him on the Cross Bronx Expressway so he could pee into it.

11. What did you used to do at sleepovers?
10 year old: Talk late into the night.

Blog: Drink and discuss the finer points of oral sex techniques


secret agent woman said...

You can add "not traumatizing Jocelyn's daughter with my second set of answers" to your lists of kindnesses done to someone else.

Jazz said...

I'm sure eventually you can instruct her in the real answer to that last question.

Hilary said...

Yours are the only memes which I'll read. And you never fail to deliver a laugh or several. Thanks for that.

furiousBall said...

I hear Hugh Jackman's lap is beautiful this time of year

Craig said...

I'm tempted to make a smart-assed comment about Hugh Jackman's banana, dipped in chocolate, but I'll be nice. . .

Honestly, you can't do much better than a comprehensive application of the Golden Rule, can you?

And here's where I mention my hatred for the fact that, when I was in grade school, we were graded in penmanship, which kept me from ever making the Straight-A Honor Roll. . .

Craig said...

And just for the record, I'm all about the 'Secondary Colors' - Green, Purple, Orange; they're ever-so-much more interesting than Red/Yellow/Blue.

But, like you, I love me the tie-dye (and thanx for the napkins and sox)


S said...

LOL i read it thinking the first answers were the 10 year olds, until I got to the trig and college parts!
Be sure to remove the second set of answers!

Logophile said...

hee hee
I do love a grammatically correct meme.

Loved your answers, both sets, although your color OCD is mildly disturbing.
I'm with craig about secondary colors, I tend to prefer them over primaries.
My favorite dessert is a turtle sundae. There is some chocolate in there, you should be able to get into that, right?

Jocelyn said...

I thought your answers to 6. and 8. might be Hugh Jackman, too...

My girl would actually have really enjoyed your "real" favorite field trip.

Yea, the color thing: I guess she just typed out the choices in the order that colors popped into her mind. She certainly didn't want to hear about it when I started explaining that "white" is more an absence of color.

I love that you did this.

Michelle H. said...

I had an appropriate comment about your meme answers. It was thought-provoking, brilliant, the best possible comment any blogger would have wished to have about their post. Then I read Craig's comment about chocolate and Hugh Jackman's banana.

Who can possibly top that!?!

I'll just settle for saying these were great meme answers.

Craig said...

For the record - I was tempted to make that comment. . . but I didn't actually make it. . .


Besides, Lime started the whole Hugh Jackman/chocolate thing. And how am I supposed to maintain decorum when I read her answer to #11?

G-Man said...

Just the fax ma'am
Just the fax...

Ananda girl said...

LOL! I too sort my m&ms by color and eat them that way. Proof enough to me that you will be an excellent children's librarian! BTW... my job just came open if you want to relocate to the other side of the country, I'd gladly push in your direction. (I know... too far from family.)

Recently a good male friend of mine said to me that teen girls do not talk and think sex, sex, sex like teen boys. I said "Are you insane?"

He lifted one eye brow and asked about more mature women. I laughed and said "Are you aware that you are talking to a more mature woman about sex right now?"

Beach Bum said...

11. What did you used to do at sleepovers?
Blog: Drink and discuss the finer points of oral sex techniques

Not that I would ever talk about stuff like that with the guys but that sure beats the hell out of any sports talk.

Anonymous said...

The first set of answers point to the amazing maturity of the very bright ten year old and the second...well that's Lime for you, and doesn't she tell us somewhere that she never grew up? Gotta love her!