Sunday, September 19, 2010

Farts in a Jar vs. Heart Attack on a Plate

Mr. Lime generally does not engage in food prep beyond making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or occasionally firing up the grill at my request.  The exceptions to these generalities are when he and the custodians at his school seek to determine who can sear the length of the digestive tract most effectively.  One of the participants in this He-man contest acquired seeds for ghost peppers at the beginning of the growing season.  Recently they harvested a few not yet ripe peppers.  The intention is to harvest the peppers at various stages of ripeness to experience the changing nuances of flavor before permanently destroying every taste bud. In the pursuit of this goal, Mr. Lime prepared a batch of his famous pickled pepper eggs last week.  He checked on their progress this week.  When he cracked the seal my entire kitchen smelled like someone had cracked some record breaking flatulence.
Notice the fire extinguisher in the background.




Now perhaps you recall when I mentioned acquiring 20 lbs of organic yukon gold potatoes.  This past weekend I made a batch of very yummy and inoffensive scalloped potatoes.  However, I thinly sliced too many spuds to fit in the casserole.  I could have put the leftovers in a smaller dish but I also had just enough sauce for the first one and didn't feel like making more.  Instead I opted to make homemade potato chips, which is something I'd never bothered doing before.  I wanted to see how they'd turn out.  Dare I say they were also very yummy and inoffensive?  Ok, a few were a bit overdone while I was adjusting the temperature of the oil but Calypso declared those to be her favorites.  I think the evidence of the yumminess and generally agreeable quality of both my dishes is indicated by how quickly they both disappeared into the bellies of those around me.

While Mr. Lime declared his enjoyment of my two dishes he also stated his belief that his would be an equal hit.  I ask you dear readers, if you were to have your health adversely affected would you choose something that would cause you to produce your own mustard gas or something to stop your heart?

14 comments:

haphazardlife said...

The chips. Definitely the chips.

Hilary said...

Hmmm fart vs. heart. Tough call. But when the chips are down, I's have to go for them. ;) They look yummy, actually. The eggs.. not so much.

Craig said...

Sorry, but when you frame the question like that, I'll go with the mustard gas. Heart attacks are so much longer-lasting, y'know. . .

~Tim said...

Wow. "Yummy and inoffensive" is such a lofty goal for cooking. How do you manage to keep from cracking under the pressure?

secret agent woman said...

Whenever my kids and I see a jar of pickled eggs in a store we laugh and wonder who in the world would eat them. Now we know. :-)

Suldog said...

I guess it would depend upon how I felt about those around me. Of course, farts can be fun, but just getting the smell without the sounds isn't nearly as good as the combination of both. Heart attacks have very little in the way of a fun factor, or so I've heard.

G-Man said...

Pickled Eggs are great at a bar!
But the Ghost Peppers?
I bought some GP infused Sea Salt..
YIKES!!!!!!!
Your Chips look nummy...

S said...

the chips for sure!

Cocotte said...

I'm not sure how much $$ it would take for me to eat anything out of that jar. I'd think more than I could earn from a win on Big Brother.

Give me the chips!

coopernicus said...

now if you come up with a consumable that stops the mustard gas....you'll be rich...

Eric Alder said...

It's a no-brainer...

The pickled eggs have a definite (pardon the pun) end result.

The potato chips merely have the POSSIBLITY of a bad future. (But you could also get hit by a bus)


P.S. - For better chips, soak your potato slices in cold salt water for a half-hour before frying. (Also helps prevent discoloring)

Dry the potato slices THOROUGHLY, then quick-fry them for about 2 to 3 minutes, until just crispy. (They may not look 'done' before they're actually done)

(M)ary said...

LOL. I farted and my heart nearly stopped from laughing as I read this post!

Homemade potato chips have less far just like homemade cookies have less calories. So as long as the chips are made with love, they can't affect your heart....that's my theory and I am sticking to it.

Cricket said...

Wow. Those ghost peppers scare me. I haven't had the opportunity yet, and I may well try one if I do, but still...

You may remember from a previous post that I put habanero sauce on all manner of things. The peppers/sauces I eat usually check in between 15,000-100,000 scovilles. Ghost peppers are 1,000,000 plus. Yikes.

By comparison, standard pepper spray is about 2,000,000 scovilles. Yum.

Jocelyn said...

Clearly, Mr. Lime's been eating his pickled crack, if he thinks anything could be as good as homemade chips.