Sunday, November 14, 2010

Stream of Unconsciousness






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I have realized that any time use of a public restroom necessitates obtaining a key from a manager it's most likely because they are afraid someone will sneak in and clean the bathroom.  This is a given with regard to gas station type facilities but when in a groovy little boutique in a downtown shopping district it seems one ought to be able to reasonably expect a low likelihood of contracting hepatitis when one is emptying one's bladder.

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Expectations are premeditated resentments...or so I'm told.  Someone ought to put that on a button or something.

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I bought two buttons this weekend.  One merely had a picture of geek glasses on them.  I got it for Calypso (because she begged me for glasses like these) and snuck it onto the lapel of her coat.  I'm still waiting for her to discover it.  The other button was for me.  It reads, "Moderation (and plausible deniability) in everything."

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They are now making Chocolate Cheerios.  In spite of my ever so slight addiction to the fruit of Theobroma cacao, I find this disturbing.  Cheerios were one of the few cereals my mother allowed us to eat as children because it was healthy.  Cheerios are a cereal you can purchase with food stamps and WIC vouchers because it is healthy.  I can live with all the other flavors of Cheerios they've come out with but chocolate ones are just wrong.  If I'm going to have chocolate cereal let's not pretend it's something healthy.  Just go for the most horrid stuff you can find.  Cocoa Puffs.  Count Chocula.  Cocoa Pebbles.  Cookie Crisp even.  Seriously.  Little chocolate chip cookie shaped cereal nuggets don't even pretend to aspire to being healthy.  They just say, "Hey, you like to dunk your cookies in milk, right?  What better way to start your day than saving you the trouble of dunking them.  Just let them swim and shovel them in your face!"   Cheerios, please don't pretend to be something you're not.

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Likewise, oatmeal cookies with raisins in them?  Cookies should have no nutritionally redeeming qualities.  All that fiber and fruit is just a little too close to being healthy to be allowed to be a cookie.

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I've lived in my current house for 7 years.  Until this Friday all I had on my walls, in the entire house, were 2 deer heads (because Diana and Mr. Lime claimed the wall space), a wreath, a very groovy 3D metal sculpture, and a painting my grandfather did.  This has been something which has annoyed Mr. Lime greatly for at least 3 years.  This weekend I put things on 3 more walls.  He said when he came home he thought he was drunk and wandered into the wrong house because our walls have been bare so long (I contend they are not  bare...refer to the above list).  He seems to be functioning under the misguided assumption that snark will motivate me.  I will do more but it's due to momentum.  Part of me wants to snidely inform him that such comments will cost him another 7 years before I tackle the next 3 walls because really, this is not a thing to be rushed. 

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I used to think November was  not a very aesthetically pleasing month.  Everything is just brown and dying.  the beautiful leaves have fallen.  there is no snow yet to make everything glistening white.  In the last few years though I noticed the slanting golden light and the way it hits the frost covered grass in the morning or yellow stalks of dried plants.  It has it's own sort of beauty...something akin to watching someone sleep and seeing how peaceful they look

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This made me laugh.  I want one.


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15 comments:

for a different kind of girl said...

That shirt is awesome, and sadly, I must also inform you that chocolate Cheerios are, too. I know. They shouldn't be, and in all honesty, I'm a high fiber cereal girl all the way, but I went a little crazy with a sale and a coupon one day, and now when I see those things on the shelves, I find myself craving them.

secret agent woman said...

I like honey nut cheerios, but never had a desire to try any of the other non-cheerio flavors.

But I have to disagree about the oatmeal cookies - they are only really any good with raisins. Too bland other wise. It wold be like chocolate chip cookies without chocolate chips.

Craig said...

OK, so if you ever come to our house, we won't serve you granola (and I'm with the Agent re oatmeal cookies; just for the sake of sayin' so. . .)

And I've had chocolate Cheerios, and you can trust me - there's nothing 'healthy' about 'em. . . (Jen will mix the plain Cheerios w/ Honey-Nut, just so the kids will eat 'em. . .)

The shirt is a monumental hoot. But I'd just get in trouble for it. . .

You're right about November. . .

And when are you gonna post a photo of the 'very groovy' 3D metal sculpture?

And - did you seriously use the word 'groovy'? ;)

Beach Bum said...

I'm at work and feel even worse than that cat looks.


geek glasses

Right there I about fell off my stool here at work, those are the very same glasses the army issued back when I first entered in the 80's. Their nicknames were either "Clark Kents" of "Birth Control Glasses". They were so nerdy that they actually came back in style, of course the army then changed the frames which were worse than the Clark Kents ever were.

Cocoa and Fruity Pebbles are a guilty sin for me and I miss Count Chocula's buddy Frankenberry, dude went missing when I was in high school.

I'll leave the subject of the t-shirt alone since my mind is always in the gutter.

haphazardlife said...

Chocolate Cheerios?!?!?!

That is just so many levels of wrong.

Raisin oatmeal cookies though are wonderful. Plus you can rationalize eating them for breakfast because they're "health food".

Chocolate Cheerios on the other hand...

- Jazz

Cocotte said...

Also shocked by the lack of love for oatmeal raisin cookies.....

Chocolate cheerios are really the same thing as Cocoa Puffs, aren't they?

Suldog said...

There is nothing quite so sublimely horrid and delicious as a big bowl full of cocoa puffs swimming in sugary sludgy chocolatized milk. But, Cheerios? They should be light tan and at least let you fool yourself into thinking you're becoming healthier. And I couldn't agree more concerning Cookie Crisp. Even I have never sunk low enough to eat a bowl of that.

S said...

I get it now
Seems to me
with TWO deer heads on the wall,
the decoratin is done, dang it!

:P

Eric Alder said...

Speaking of chocolate, I recently tried a wonderful chocolate bar by Lindt (chocolate geniuses) simply called Chili. It's a dark chocolate with just enough cayenne pepper in it to spice things up without being 'hot' - it reminds me of the traditional Mexican hot chocolate drink - Great stuff!

misticblu said...

Passing thru again and you never fail to entertain.
I WILL find that shirt!
My mother got on the oatmeal raisin kick for a while, dad called them "Mama's little farter starters". ruined it for me.
I hope to have deer head adornment soon, started hunting this year with new beau.
Now excuse me whilst I catch up on your blog and maybe even catch up on mine. ;)

coopernicus said...

what knucklehead told you about "expectations...." jeez. must have had their head up their ass....

Sarah said...

Holy crap.. That was like 6 posts in one..

I am seriously well informed about your life at the moment.

Wasnt the inspiration to put stuff on the walls from your new friend?

Also.. Coma's always dirty.

(M)ary said...

Expectations are premeditated resentments...

Said the politician to his voters

Ok/ so the Buddha says stop expecting and you will find peace and happiness. Seems zen.

But there is a part of me who thinks this is just an out for folks who want to not live up to expectations...

Apparently I am not ready to be zen.

~Tim said...

I love buttons. I love that shirt. I love this post!

Hilary said...

Chocolate (any sweet) cereal sounds disgusting to me.. then again, I'm not too crazy about Cheerios anyway. I like boring stuff like "Ancient Grains." The sunlight is amazingly gorgeous these days. And that t-shirt made me laugh. :)