Thursday, December 16, 2010

Friday 55 & Da Count-Growing Up


Once I was your universe
containing you in darkness.

You emerged to light
and I became the sun
on which to center your orbit.

Now you slip my bonds of gravity
and fling yourself
among the stars.

Blaze bright, find the path
that allows me
glimpses of glory
and leaves no crater
upon my heart.


This week Diana turned twenty.  That was a strange milestone for me since I was twenty when I got married (and I'm also marking that anniversary this week).  If she were to announce she is getting married soon I'd definitely think she's too young.  I can only imagine how insane my parents thought I was at twenty....alright, they still think I am but that's another matter entirely.  Sometimes she is so grown up and mature and responsible.  Sometimes I just want to bean her.

Calypso has had a good week health-wise.  That all by itself is count-worthy but she's also been talking about future plans in ways that display a sense of hope.  She's also been willing to ask for some help she has needed but resisted.  In spite of all the difficulty she's had this year I've been proud of her mostly consistent effort.  

Isaac towers over me so the physical growth is obvious.  I don't generally have to get on his case about schoolwork.  He's mostly easy going.  I miss the way we used to curl up on the couch to read together or watch his favorite cartoons but I like when he comes into the kitchen to talk to me about some of his odd observations in life.

One is out of the house, one stands ready to depart, and one watches in anticipation for his turn.  It's strange, unfamiliar territory we all explore as we grow but it's interesting to watch...most of the time.  I'm counting the evidence of maturity when I see it.


G-Man said...

That was beautiful..
D is a young star about to shine bright.
Loved your 55.
Thanks for playing and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G

G-Man said...!....shhhhh

Brian Miller said...

you know she is gonna be alright...even if it is out of your orbit for a bit...smiles.

Beach Bum said...

I miss the way we used to curl up on the couch to read together...

My son is 15 and my wife comments about the same thing. In fact every so often while my son is still asleep she will laydown beside him. The male scream of utter terror and disgust with pounding footsteps afterward is the sign he woke up.

Hilary said...

Very beautiful, Michelle. I know that bittersweet feeling well. It tugs at the heart but all is as it should be. I'm glad to hear that Calypso is doing well.

Belinda said...

A beautiful story of growing up and letting go...makes me think of the day when my son leaves home (but he's only 3).

HOOTIN' ANNI said...

My two grown, adult, kids have been 'away' from home for many many years now, and trust me...your star will shine bright and soon become your best friend!!!

My Flash 55 is posted Scroll down below my show n tell for Friday to find it.

Have a great weekend.

Cocotte said...

I'd forgotten how close in age our 3 kids are. Hope you have a good holiday weekend, Lime!

Jim said...

That's some swell verse there, Lime. I liked it, a lot.

clean and crazy said...

i so know the feeling here, my oldest is about to leave, thank god my little ones are going to give me a few years before they go.

Craig said...

It really is a wonderful poem; nicely crafted.

I'll have similar thoughts about our kids - 'wow, when I was your age, I was married and had two kids. . .' Which my grown daughters tend not to find very helpful, so I keep 'em to myself.

But you know, it is a joy to see 'em grow up. Especially when they hit their mid-20s or so, and and you start to see 'em as responsible grown-ups who just might make it, after all. . .

hedgewitch said...

Yes, hard to believe, all that growing up thing. My son was born when I had the body of a 24 year old and the mind of a 16 year old. But such is life--we make it all work, somehow. Enjoyed your 55 and your Count, both.
Happy weekend, and Happy Holidays.

Cricket said...

Beautiful 55.

I think I ought to do some "counting," myself.

On the other hand, sometimes I'm in that kind of mood: the sort where, though I admit that my problems are not so great in the big picture, they are still mine, and problems, and, though I am grateful that my children are healthy, the tics that they are giving me have not subsided.

A count is worth a shot, though.

Or maybe a shot would help me count? Too early for that. Maybe later.

Monkey Man said...

What a beautiful way to honor a loved one. Both by thought and word.

moondustwriter said...

Hard to let go - I'm looking at two being gone next fall - ugg

love your 55 and the beauty and the sadness in letting them go into their own orbit

Have wonderful holidays with your family

Moonie hugs

Jingle said...

heartfelt and magical,
you have expressed your love for her beautifully.

Happy Belted Birthday to your girl.
fabulous 55.

Kat said...

Aww. You have me all choked up. I kind of want to run upstairs and wake my babies from their naps so that I can snuggle them and kiss on them while they still let me.
And then again, I kind of want them to stay sleeping for a while. ;)
Happy Birthday to your Diana!
And I'm so glad Calypso is feeling better.

secret agent woman said...

I'm not sure its possible for them not to leave craters on your heart.

Mona said...

Happy Birthday to Diana! That is a beautiful advice to a growing up child. I love the last stanza!

Jocelyn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jocelyn said...

This is exactly the kind of post that makes me so happy and so melancholy simultaneously. How can we go on when they don't need us the same way, yet we push them not to need us the same way. Sigh.

Okay, it's just hitting me that you were 20 when you got married. My cousin is going through the same thing this year: he and his wife were 20 when they got married and now have a 18 year old...and all I can think is that this 18 year old shouldn't get married for MANY years--and he's quite mature--yet when my cousin got married, it was okay: his choice, and he was entitled to make it.

lecram said...

Late (like I was last week)... but I promise not to make it a growing trend. Cheers!

Saz said...

great words, a mothers torn sentiment,
we grieve yet smile, double edged we live, with or without them near us...
oh the pain...they do not know it yet...

az x