Monday, December 06, 2010

Meme-y Christmas

 Empress Lime has allied with Queen Mimi once again for a bit of holiday meme silliness.


Let's talk Christmas. I'm in a naughty and nice mood.  Some are one-word answers, others need a little explanation. Feel free to elaborate when the blog spirit moves ya. And above all else...Have fun!


1. Amazon.com or the Mall
Did you not read yesterday's post?  Etsy...the weird pages


2. Bows or ribbons  Bungee cords


3. Expensive or sale tags
Cheap is good, free is better.  Think I'll stitch that on a pillow and sell it on Etsy.

4. Long list or short
We talking groceries or chores here?

5. Wrapped packages or gift bags
Duct tape covered shoe boxes

6. Eggnog or vodka
Are you trying to make me puke because one sip of eggnog or several glasses of vodka will achieve that quite well

7. Have you finished your shopping?
Have I started it is a better question

8. A Christmas Carol or The Bible Story
And the were three spirits keep watch over scrooges by night.  An angel of the LORD appeared to them and the glory of Jacob Marley shone all around and they were terrified. But the angel of the LORD said, "God bless us everyone."


9. Are you Scrooge or Santa's Helper?
Oh heck, around here I'm the whole freaking workshop full of elves but I may go all Bah Humbug on people if they don't start picking up some slack.

10. Did you ever catch Santa Claus in the act?
In the act????  Santa???  Holy crap!!!  I thought all he did was KISS Mommy!

11. Tell me about your Christmas tree...gotta pic?
I once hung a penis gourd from it


12. Christmas carols or Rock Station
Ever heard Jingle Bell Rock on a pipe organ?


13. Do you believe in Elves?
I thought he died on his toilet after an overdose of drugs

14. I am looking for Santa. Describe him for me. 
I was always told anyone could be Santa.





 15. Do you leave cookies out or bourbon?
Both, I like to see the mice staggering around drunk the next morning

16. White lights or multi-colored
Depends on how much vodka I've had before they start flashing

17. Wreaths on the doors, windows, outside?
I haven't even gotten my tree up yet and you're hassling me about wreaths???


18. Who are the 3 wisest wise men in your life?
The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker


19. Is Christmas religious or commercial for you?
You mean by desire or by default?

20. Ever kiss under the mistletoe?
Nope.  Used to boink under the Christmas tree though.


21. Stars or angels on top of the tree 
Part of me would like to make a crude remark about the supermodels for Victoria's Secret Angel line being impaled on trees but that would probably not be very Christmas-like of me


22. Who deserves to get a lump of coal for Christmas and why? 
Congress

23. Who is #7 in the 12 Days of Christmas song?
*Hums*  Sevens somethings something something... Um...Seven Jackmans....no...Seven chocolates melting...um....Seven limelets...oh HECK no!  Three is enough!  I dunno....I give up.


24. Snail mail cards or e-cards
Can I email some snails?

25. What do you want for Christmas? 
No jokes here.  My family to enjoy being together and Calypso to be returned to full health and attending school full time so she can finish her senior year strong.

16 comments:

clean and crazy said...

you make me giggle, boink, he, he, he can't top that one!!

KB said...

Thank you for sharing your Christmas boinking story with us, LOL!

Beach Bum said...

6. Eggnog or vodka

I can't stand the taste of them either, now tequila is a whole other subject and its gets me in the Christmas spirit.

(M)ary said...

I believe ins Elves....I saw Elves at the Burger King in Kalamazoo MI.

G-Man said...

Egg Nog followed by some delicious saurkraut?

haphazardlife said...

Ah, the spirit of Christmas! You bring it right out...

- jazz

Craig said...

8) I'm also partial to O. Henry's 'The Gift of the Magi'. . .

12) Actually, no - I never have. And I sorta hope I never do. . . ;)

15) A buddy of mine used to make rum balls that would render the choice superfluous. They'd stagger your mice, fersure. . .

19) No kidding. . .

20) You used to boink under the Christmas tree? As in past tense? Why did you stop?

Actually, boinking under the Christmas tree (or at least in its shadow) is a great idea; I think I'll suggest to Jen that we make it a new Christmas tradition. . . ;)

23) Uh. . . that would be 'Swans a-Swimming'. I'm pretty sure. . .

25) Amen. . .

coopernicus said...

#13 - outstanding...i bow to your memeness...

Jocelyn said...

I'm hanging evil eyes all over our tree here this year (the evil eye is "nazar"...kind of like Nazareth, right? Mostly, I like that hardcore Christians object to the idea of the evil eye and find it heathenish. Totally my right decoration). Random comment, I know, in relation to all you wrote here, but well, that's what I got. I pretty much want to say hi and that I think of you frequently but struggle to find blog commenting time, esp since it can take 8 minutes to load a blog and leave a comment with our connection!

Jocelyn said...

I'm hanging evil eyes all over our tree here this year (the evil eye is "nazar"...kind of like Nazareth, right? Mostly, I like that hardcore Christians object to the idea of the evil eye and find it heathenish. Totally my right decoration). Random comment, I know, in relation to all you wrote here, but well, that's what I got. I pretty much want to say hi and that I think of you frequently but struggle to find blog commenting time, esp since it can take 8 minutes to load a blog and leave a comment with our connection!

Xmichra said...

by desire or default... nice. I somewhat feel the same, but I learned a few years ago that the commercial side can be good too... if you look at the time to spend instead of the price tag. That's my take at any rate.

Merry humbug Lime :)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

#13 was hilarious!

Mona said...

Cheap is good, free is better is aphoristic!

When did those three men get wise enough to learn that sailing in a tub was not good ?

Craig said...

Butcher, Baker, Candlestick-Maker. . . which one is Hugh? (since, you know, they're all in the tub, I just kinda assumed. . .)

Suldog said...

Literal laugh-out-loud moments on #'s 8 and 13. And #25 is in my continuing prayers.

Mimi Lenox said...

Me thinks you are quite naive about dear ole' Santa. Giggle....