Monday, December 13, 2010

Twisted Christmas

It's late.  I finally finished decorating the tree and sat down to try to post and had all sorts of computer issues.  I need to tuck my tired self into bed but here's a little idea for a quick post.  It calls for audience participation if it's going to be any fun at all.

I'm going to list something I want for Christmas.  The next commenter will grant that wish but with a twist.  Then they will add their own wish which will be granted in a wacky way by the next commenter.

For example...

Lime:  All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.
Suldog: Wish granted but they are giant walrus tusks.  Dear Santa, I'd like all the fruitcake I could ever eat.
Secret Agent Woman: Wish granted but it's been made with the floor sweepings of all you local dive bars...empty peanut shells and cigarette butts included.  All I want is an all expense paid vacation to the Caribbean.
G-man: Wish granted, here's your ticket to Port au Prince.  Dear Santa, may I have....

Everyone understand?  Ok, here goes.

All I want for Christmas is Hugh Jackman wearing a bow.

19 comments:

Hilary said...

Wish granted. He's wearing that bow, and a sadly misplaced arrow.

All I want for Christmas is a high-quality camera.

Beach Bum said...

Done! But it's a high-quality camera from the 1970's Soviet Union and not only is the state run company long gone but film is non-existent.

All I want for Christmas is the complete series of Burn Notice on DVD.

Mother Theresa said...

Okay, you got it! But it's an old, discarded, scratched up library copy.

All I want for Christmas is a trip to a tropical beach.

G-Man said...

Wish Granted!...
Unfortunately it's Monsoon Season, and all the power on the island is out!
All I really want for Christmas is for my son to find a good job...

Suldog said...

Granted! But 'good' is a relative term. So, it's high-paying, but he's Rosie O'Donnell's personal proctologist.

All I really want for Christmas is a championship for my Boston Celtics...

Craig said...

Granted. But alas, the Curse of the Bambino turns out to be transferrable, and it won't happen for 86 years. . .

(Rosie O'Donnell's personal proctologist. . . ouch!) (and hey, I heard you could hook G-man's son up with a gig as a port-a-john attendant. . .)

All I want for Christmas is for my kids to get along and love each other. . .

S said...

Granted, your kids love each other but they still hate you.

♥(just kidding, I am a parent so I know whatcha mean!)
PS Lime, you get Hugh, but he is wearing a bandage under his eye, not a bow....

All I want for Christmas is to be 5'6"

lime said...

dang it susie...i just saw that article about hugh...

your wish is granted but it's your waist size not your height.

all i want for christmas is for my van to have a new quarter panel and bumper.

haphazardlife said...

Granted, but they're for a Porsche, not your van.

All I want for Christmas is a Kindle.

- Jazz

Craig said...

You want kindling? Here's a big bundle of sticks; you need any more than that?

All I want for Christmas is a Martin D-19 guitar. . .

cathy said...

Granted, but it has been enchanted by a witchy cowgirl and will only play country and western music.

All I want for christmas is a total body makeover.

coopernicus said...

Granted. You know have the body of Orson Welles.

All I want for Christmas is peace of mind.

Craver Vii said...

Craig, may I borrow your new guitar?

Okay... Coopernicus: Granted, but you are the only sane person in your entire social sphere; everyone else is off-the-charts insane.

All I want for Christmas is to be able to play with my kids without all the pain in my knees and lower back.

S said...

Granted but now your neck hurts like a you know what!!!!


All I want for Christmas is a live tree that I cannot kill!

Craig said...

Craver, if all it plays is C&W, you can have the doggone thing. . .

Okay, Susie. . .

You got it, but it's a zombie-mutant tree that you wish you could kill, 'cuz it wants to kill you. . .

Man, I'm playin' too much here; I can't think of what to ask for next. . .

Oh, heck - all I want for Christmas is a cordless drill. . .

Jocelyn said...

Craig: Granted. But it's the latest in dental innovations (no more tripping orthodontists) and is heading towards your abcessed tooth.

All I want for Christmas is some polenta sent across the ocean to me here in Turkey.

lime said...

jocelyn, granted but first it's on a slow boat to china, then it has to be returned to sender who finally forwards it back to you and by the time it reaches turkey it is only good for use as a doorstop.

all i want for christmas is to be able to sleep late for a week.

Cricket said...

Granted, but you'll be in a Thorazine fog in a rubber upholstered room.

All I want for Christmas is for my in-laws to set the thermostat a little lower while I'm visiting.

(M)ary said...

Granted, they set it so low you can see your breath and you wake up with ice on your eyelashes.

All I want for Christmas is peace on Earth.