Monday, February 14, 2011

A Friend in Need

 Dear Calypso,

Your last many months have not been especially pleasant.  You've spent a lot of time feeling sick, having no energy, wondering when you will feel well again.  You've persevered through it all and managed to keep up in school for the most part.  Even if the report card doesn't say so you've got straight A's for effort alone in my book.  I know the effort required to get through school depletes most of your energy. You've missed out on a lot of socializing simply because of how rotten you feel so frequently.  For an out-going girl like you that's a hard thing, especially for your senior year.

To add insult to injury you've had a couple of long-time friends turn their backs on you.  They've been people to whom you've given yourself repeatedly when they had times of trial in their lives.  You've listened and consoled when they needed it.  Sadly, they have chosen not to reciprocate in your time of trial.  While that's disappointing enough the insensitivity toward you and downright ugliness has been the bitterest of pills.  I know it's painful for you.  It's been painful for me to watch.  Unfortunately, this is how life is sometimes.  It's not always fair and people can disappoint.

After you've dried the tears it's time to move on.  If someone is consistently cruel at a time when your greatest need is kindness and they ultimately tell you they don't want to be around you, you're better off without them.  Truly.  Let them go.  It's making room in your life for people who are kinder and more faithful.  You haven't lost anything of value because in reality you didn't have it to begin with.  The difficult circumstances in life merely revealed true character and the quality (or lack thereof) of a relationship.

Likewise, this time in your life is revealing your character and the character of others.  Just as the fair weather friends are flying away on the gusts of wind, the true ones (few though they may be) are showing how deep their roots are and how immovable their affection and concern are.  Those are the relationships to nurture. Those are the friends to treasure.  Hold them close in your heart and let it make you glad rather than holding the pain caused by false friends.  Count yourself blessed to know the friends who remain are proved true.

Love always,
Mom

20 comments:

G-Man said...

Perfect Mom...

G-Man said...

Perfect King-Me!!!!!

for a different kind of girl said...

Beautiful and true, in exactly that order.

Beach Bum said...

Being a teenager sucks, hope Calypso feels better soon.

Hilary said...

My heart aches for your Calypso but everything you say is so true. You raised a wonderful daughter. Too bad the faux friends can't see that. It's their great loss.

Mona said...

This letter is so heart wrenching. I will direct my son to read it, since he has faced similar problems with his 'friends' after he was much depressed, post his father's loss!

Thanks for posting this.

& Happy Valentine's Day to Lime & Family!

Mother Theresa said...

That's a hard hard lesson to learn, but so true. And even though the situation sucks, at least after all this Calypso will know who her real friends are. I hope she will soon be feeling great again, so she can start enjoying her time with her true friends.

KFarmer said...

This is what my dad told me when I was little~ when you are a grown and if you can hold your hand up and count five good friends~ then count yourself a lucky woman. I'm sorry your sweetie is learning this at such a young age. People can be so cruel. Hugs to both of you.

Suldog said...

Absolute truth.

Craig said...

We experienced some of this, when we were going thru our, uh, stuff a few years back. You really do find out who your friends really are. And painful as it is to find out that not all of your friends are really your friends (at least, not in the way your thought they were), it really is good to know who your real, rock-bottom, thick-and-thin, in-it-together-no-matter-what friends are. . .

Thanks for putting your mom-heart out here for us. You are a very wise and caring mother. . .

haphazardlife said...

You're so totally right. It's unfortunate though that we need to be in a bad situation in order to learn the lesson. It just sort of adds insult to injury.

- Jazz

coopernicus said...

it's always the sensitive ones...

secret agent woman said...

I learned this lesson the hard way when I got separated. I value the true friends now more than ever.

snowelf said...

I totally agree, Lime. Calypso is a beautiful smart and caring soul who doesn't deserve to have her life crowded by those undeserving of her. She's so much better off even if it stings a bit now.

hugs to your daughter and to her loving mother as well,cause there are never too many hugs,

--snow

Lori said...

I am sorry to your sweet Calypso...and to you her mom too as I know how it breaks a mothers heart to see one of her's hurting...the good that comes out of this is the lesson of weeding out the real for the fake...this doesn't just happen to teenagers or children but adults as well..when I went through my divorce I lost friends that I thought were there for the long haul...I also now have friends that I never imagined being as close as we are now....still the sting of this truth when you are a teenager is not pleasant...thankful she has a soft place to fall and to learn...so glad she has you...can imagine the teen girls or boys that don't have this? Sad! Hugs to you both! XX

S said...

I hope things get better for her real soon.
That is a very sweet letter...♥♥

(M)ary said...

I am assumong it is some of her chick friends who are being mean and unsupportive. Teenage girls can be awful! I also know as they grow up sometimes those same girls can realize their mistake. So, I know it is not helpful to Calypso now, but some day at a reunion (or on Facebook) she might get an apology out of her faux friends.

Hope that does indeed happen some day for Calypso.

Juana said...

A letter filled with truths and love.
Beautiful!

Bijoux said...

These life lessons are usually the hardest to learn. I'm sorry for her pain.

Jocelyn said...

It's so easy once you're through all that stuff and have come out the other side, stronger and wiser and able to shut doors. But, oh man, to be in the midst of it...I feel for your girl. Luckily, she's got just the right person behind her. Dang.