Cook Me Up a Meme

I went digging around looking for blog fodder.  Found this old meme at Bloggingham Palace.

1. If you could put thyme in a bottle, what is the first thing that you'd like to do?
Probably ask Jim Croce to put it away between the tarragon and the turmeric.

2. Do eggs really crack or do they merely have a nervous breakdown?
The hard-boiled ones just get twitchy but the soft-boiled ones crack up, the scrambled ones need to be committed involuntarily.


3. Why are you whipping the butter? What did it ever do to you?
If you'd seen what was going on in the fridge after I closed the door and the light went off you'd understand completely.  Besides, the butter likes it.  It begs for it.  Don't worry, it has a safe word.

4. Do your spoons spoon in the drawer? Have you ever noticed? And more importantly, if wooden spoons spoon do they get splinters?
I dunno what the fork they do in there.

5. You hear: "Dumpling, my Dumpling, come hither." The candles are lit, the fondue is dipping, the Godiva is pouring, the scallions are steaming and the music is playing.....but wait, the windows are open. Why did you close them?
I'm sorry I can't get over the bit about the Godiva pouring.  Is the chocolate melted completely?  Where is it being poured?  On Hugh Jackman?  If so, the windows are not even under consideration.

6. Do you need a recipe to cook or are you a bohemian chef? Show us your reckless and wild side in the kitchen. Don't have one? Here's a recipe I made just for you: You will need a spatula, a whisk, a gallon of Chardonnay, a banana and a rump roast. What is the name of your dish?
Bohemian.  Freddie Mercury's Delight.

7. After dinner, the dishes are so dirty that the dishwasher refuses to wash them. What did they say to get in hot water?
I'm confused.  Is the dishwasher in hot water or are the dishes? If it's the dishes is this the remake of the Disney version of Beauty and the Beast because those are the only talking dishes I've heard of.


8. Is your pot black?
It prefers the term "pigment enhanced."


9. What is the sexiest spice or condiment in your cabinet? What makes it so?
Cinnamon.  Just say it and let it roll off your tongue and lips.


10. How much crock is really in your crock pot?
At least a potful.