Dear Calypso and Isaac,
I love you more than life itself. I will go to great lengths to insure your well-being. I think I have demonstrated this consistently over the course of your lives what with the breastfeeding, the making sure you had clothes and shoes and food before I did, the time and money spent on various lessons, the taxi driving, the times swabbing up the various noxious emissions you can produce during illness or even the potty training stage, the getting you to doctors and then nursing you in illness or post-surgically, cooking your favorite meals, listening to your heartaches, need I go on? I could but I think the evidence is heavy enough.
That said, your mother has her limits. I am tired. And though I am more than happy to do for you that which you are unable to do when you are in genuine need you need to recognize that at the ages of 15 and 17 there is a lot you can do for yourselves. Chief among these things is getting your own carcasses on the school bus in the morning and not forgetting your glasses, books, lunches, athletic equipment. Have I mentioned I am tired? Allow me to reiterate. I.AM.TIRED!
Now that we have established my love for you, your theoretical ability to be independent in certain areas, and my fatigue allow me to say one more thing. If either of you bangs on my door tomorrow morning and wakes me up before my alarm, which I set in order to independently get myself out of bed and prepare for MY daily responsibilities, you had better either be bleeding profusely, on fire, or being chased by an axe murderer because, so help me God, you may wish for one of those options in the aftermath otherwise.