Monday, June 06, 2011

What Flavor Dipping Sauce Pairs Well with Crispy Administrators?

May I just say I can't wait for Calypso to be done with school not only for the normal reasons but because I am sick to death of the smug administration and its extreme level of bullshit.  Each year they seem to think they know more and more than I do about what is best for my child.  This year it's reached ridiculous proportions.  I've had to have a doctor's excuse for Calypso to carry....hold onto your hats, you're never gonna believe this.....WATER. Now at the end of the year they have a long ceremony outdoors for Seniors receiving awards and Juniors moving up.  Students have been told no hats or sunglasses. Well, in case they haven't been listening, people are supposed to take care in the sun under normal circumstances.  Calypso is on antibiotics which significantly increase her sensitivity to sun and has been told to be hyper-vigilant about protecting herself.  To that end I purchased a large wide-brimmed hat for her. Given she has two red-heads in her family, one of whom recently had skin cancer removed, we are no strangers to sun-protection mode.

Today she came home after being told she needed documentation about her medications and the necessary measures.  (Oh go self-fornicate, you fully dilated anuses!)  I have copied and highlighted the insert which came with the prescription.  I have printed off CDC guidelines for sun protection. I have written a letter outlining the doctor's instructions and suggesting not only should they not be hassling my kid but they should be encouraging the entire student body to wear hats and sunscreen. If they give Calypso any more crap I am tempted to strip the offender naked, tie him or her up to the field goal posts in the end-zone, and situate a large magnifying glass over said individual until this person is fried to a lovely crisp...oh, and no water will be given.

22 comments:

secret agent woman said...

THAT is just insane.

lime said...

since i know you're licensed can you give me an actual dx code?

Craig said...

OK, I was just gonna say 'Morons', but I really can't do better than 'fully dilated anuses', so I'll just let that one ride. . .

G-Man said...

You appear a bit Non-Plussed!

Logophile said...

It's just a little annoying, hm?
I am so glad I hopeschooled for the first 9 years of Thing One's education. Thing Two, watching what goes on isn't sure he wants to bother with the public high school at all.
It's ridiculous

Dave said...

I understand your frustration, and have had similar "discussions" with my siblings' teachers. We need to remember that most of them have never left school... - Dave

Cricket said...

Heh, heh. I play the "creative sentencing" game myself, sometimes. F'rinstance, obviously, Dick Cheney should be waterboarded. Golly-Gee Dubya should walk alone and naked through the streets of Fallujah, Limbaugh, spit-roasted with an apple in his teeth. Beck can just drown in his own tears. &c.

But, yeah. With all the bs out there about "failing teachers," people tend to forget that most of the real failures just go on to become administrators, special skills needed: buzzword spouting and ass kissing.

And, ya know? I understand medical need. That's one thing. But when exactly did we become a nation of water bottle carrying ninnies? My wife is big on that. Every time she packs up her bag I like to sing:

You shall cross the barren desert, bit you shall not die of thirst...

I love the "go self-fornicate" line. Fond memories of geek sayings past: Consume feces and cease to exist, perhaps.

And despite the un-Christian nature of my comment, my prayers for you and yours as always.

Cricket said...

p.s. Honey Mustard!

Just because.

haphazardlife said...

Wow, that last sentence - it could almost make one hope they hassle Calypso a bit more. Once you've fried them, please provide pictures.

Mona said...

That is bull crap! Screw rules! I remember my son getting the same deal at school!

In India, they have even this hassle about wearing jeans, and not wearing a dupatta, these days! We must be in retrogression!

Yea, fry them to jerkys, the jerks!

Cosima said...

I am so sorry to hear about Calypso's illness and wish her a speedy recovery.

My son's school has exactly the opposite rule: no hat, no play outside during break time.

Pheromone Girl said...

I like to think that school administrators not only never left school, as Dave mentioned, but that they were the ugly, glasses-wearing, pimply unpopular kids in school and thus like to have control over everyone to make themselves feel better.

Susan in the Boonies said...

Barbecue.

For obvious reasons.

:-D

I wish you'd stop sugarcoating things and tell us how you REALLY feel.

:-D

Craig said...

I really like Mona's idea - Administrator Jerky!

Pure genius. . .

Bijoux said...

I've never heard of not being able to carry water? Our school encourages it, all year, to stop lines at the drinking fountains!

Craver Vii said...

I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that.

Ananda girl said...

Barbecue sauce! Slow roast them on a spit... and remind them no sun screen, no sun glasses, no hats allowed whilst cooking and certainly no water!

Beach Bum said...

Utter insanity seems to be as infectious as the common cold these days. Maybe that old fart of a preacher is right saying the world is close to ending. I'm scared to think what stupidity might be next.

Kat said...

Oh for pete's sake. Do they have nothing better to do? Are they so full of their own self importance that they have to enforce even the most ridiculous rules just to make themselves feel powerful. How stupid. Seriously.

S said...

make sure to aim the magnifying glass at thier irises...

Hilary said...

Seriously? I can remember notes coming home from our schools (elementary, middle and high) insisting or strongly urging (depending on the level) that hats, sunglasses, sunscreen and adequate water be sent with the student on days with outdoor summer events. Evidently your admin doesn't even approve of covering their own asses on hot, sunny days.

(M)ary said...

Wow. Stop the Merry-go-Round. I want to get off. Paperwork and pettiness are choking this country's education system, healthcare system, tax system and every other important aspect of life.