All my students in both my schools have been told on numerous occasions, "The book you check out under your name is YOUR responsibility, not your teacher's, or parents', or friend's. YOURS." All students have also been told if they owe a book or a fine to the library there will be no new books checked out until the book or fine is returned or paid. I am also quite specific that students not swap books after they have been checked out because it's a problem if books are swapped and one person returns but the person swapped with does not. These are not mysterious or fluid standards.
Here then in a conversation I recently had with a principal.
Principal: (showing me an overdue notice I had printed out for a student) This student's family member was quite upset because it is claimed the student was not permitted to touch any books and had to sit with head down on the table.
Me: That's not the case. Students with overdues may not check books out but they may look at books or magazines while classmates check out new books. There were no behavior issues in any of my classes yesterday that would have led me to tell a student to sit with head down.
Principal: Ok, I didn't think the story I was told was accurate but I wanted to check. So at what point can the student check out a new book?
Me: When the last book is returned or, if it is lost, the fine is paid.
Principal: You won't just make the overdue or fine go away so the student can have a book?
Me: No. Borrow a book, bring it back. Lose a book, pay for it. I don't publicize this but as long as something is paid I accept it as the full fine, on the recommendation of the former librarians. Also, for those students and their families who have no means to pay I allow them to work off the fines by rendering service to the library. Students must take responsibility for the materials they borrow.
Principal: (unhappy with my "inflexibility" on the issue) Hhmph. Well, fine. (pausing) You know, I have a $60 fine at the public library. It's not fair. I lent my card to a friend who borrowed a bunch of books and never returned any of them They won't let me check out books until I pay the fine but I shouldn't have to because she borrowed them not me. I'm boycotting the public library.
Ladies and gentlemen of the blogosphere, I would like it noted for the record that I did not immediately offer my unvarnished opinion of the complete and utter stupidity I was hearing. I'm not sure if I was more shocked that my principal felt justified in refusing to pay her fine (accrued because she stupidly let someone else use her card) or the lack of shame in relating her opinion insofar as she thought I might be a sympathetic audience. Either way, the shock served to protect my job as it rendered me momentarily speechless.
To be clear, when the Limelets were small our rule was no library books go outside the house. Diana was six when she decided to sneak her new library book outside. It wound up spending the night in a mud puddle. The fine was $20. I paid it because Diana did not have $20 but she dried dishes after dinner for months to earn the money to pay me back.....because I am not the one who broke the rule and left the book in a puddle overnight. It took months because she often complained bitterly about the oppressive task she was assigned. The complaining was so persistent I told her if she spent too much time griping she'd still dry the dishes and pay me to do so instead of being paid. Her account balance fluctuated wildly at times depending upon her attitude.
So yeah, I'm all about the responsibility, though I now have a better idea of why so many folks (not all) at that school just don't seem to give a damn.
Showing posts with label stupidity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stupidity. Show all posts
Monday, November 25, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Well, You Look Great
One of the early tip offs that something was going very wrong inside my body was rapid weight loss not attributable to the standard disciplines of diet and exercise. It's been a noticeable drop in pounds, in fact, I now have several pairs of pants I can put on and take off without ever undoing the button or zipper.
Others have noticed as well. I get comments on my weight. When it's from someone who has no idea I am dealing with the c-word I just try to acknowledge the comment politely and move on. When it's from someone who knows my thyroid went completely ape-shit and then we discovered cancer in it I find I have greater difficulty just thanking them when they compliment my shrinking size. I've tried humorously saying, "Thanks but I don't recommend the weight loss plan." When they persist with some totally asinine response like letting me know they are jealous of my weight loss. I tell them flatly, "The palpitations, insomnia, night sweats, high blood pressure, general anxiety, and potential threat to my life left untreated are less than worth it."
I am well aware I was overweight before all this. I am aware I am still overweight in spite of now being able to slide my pants off without undoing them. I am under no delusions about being svelte. Nonetheless, I have heard this compliment offered stubbornly as if to suggest I'm probably not really all that sick, offered as some sort of consolation (Look on the bright side, you're not such a tub of lard anymore!), offered in envy as if I have found some miracle diet, and offered in a state of confusion because someone just doesn't know what else to say (I can sort of tolerate that). Again, if someone doesn't know what's going on with my health I can deal with it. If someone does, it's really beginning to piss me off. Of course, that means I might develop frown-lines and we can't have that as I've learned how I look trumps everything else.
To that end, I am taking my cues from Billy Crystal's Fernando character. "It is always better to look good than to feel good...and, Dahling, you look MAHVELOUS!" It helps me laugh rather than scream.
Others have noticed as well. I get comments on my weight. When it's from someone who has no idea I am dealing with the c-word I just try to acknowledge the comment politely and move on. When it's from someone who knows my thyroid went completely ape-shit and then we discovered cancer in it I find I have greater difficulty just thanking them when they compliment my shrinking size. I've tried humorously saying, "Thanks but I don't recommend the weight loss plan." When they persist with some totally asinine response like letting me know they are jealous of my weight loss. I tell them flatly, "The palpitations, insomnia, night sweats, high blood pressure, general anxiety, and potential threat to my life left untreated are less than worth it."
I am well aware I was overweight before all this. I am aware I am still overweight in spite of now being able to slide my pants off without undoing them. I am under no delusions about being svelte. Nonetheless, I have heard this compliment offered stubbornly as if to suggest I'm probably not really all that sick, offered as some sort of consolation (Look on the bright side, you're not such a tub of lard anymore!), offered in envy as if I have found some miracle diet, and offered in a state of confusion because someone just doesn't know what else to say (I can sort of tolerate that). Again, if someone doesn't know what's going on with my health I can deal with it. If someone does, it's really beginning to piss me off. Of course, that means I might develop frown-lines and we can't have that as I've learned how I look trumps everything else.
To that end, I am taking my cues from Billy Crystal's Fernando character. "It is always better to look good than to feel good...and, Dahling, you look MAHVELOUS!" It helps me laugh rather than scream.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Joys of the Job Hunt
These are actual job listings I have found. As Dave Barry says, "I am not making this up."
In order to qualify for unemployment in my state I am required to search for jobs through a statewide database for jobs. It sounds so much more helpful than it is. For example, based on the resume I posted and the questionnaire I filled out the program algorithms have determined I should apply to be a Physical Therapist. This is a job requiring a Master's Degree (I don't have one in any field, let alone PT) and licensure by the State Board of Physical Therapy (I don't have that either) and yet, this is the job I am advised to apply for. Brilliant application of technology here.
Next we come to a listing from a local school district (a miracle in itself due to massive budget shortfalls and ensuing lay-offs). The position is for a Chemnistry teacher (sic). This is a local school district which very arrogantly proclaims its superiority to the other districts in the area. Uh-huh...moving on...
A bit further down the page I see a listing for a preschool teacher. The employer requires various certifications and there must be several security clearances and for all this professional preparation the generous salary of $7.75/hour. That's right folks, for just 50 cents above the minimum wage they expect to attract a loving, creative, energetic professional who provides youngsters a strong foundation to begin their academic lives....oh, and to tolerate being a human hankie.
Next I decided to move off the State website and search local school district websites. I found one district page that was designed entirely using the comic sans font. Yet, I am the one who is supposed to be concerned about presenting a professional demeanor. The web designer needs to be fired.
And there are people wondering why education doesn't attract the best and brightest....
In order to qualify for unemployment in my state I am required to search for jobs through a statewide database for jobs. It sounds so much more helpful than it is. For example, based on the resume I posted and the questionnaire I filled out the program algorithms have determined I should apply to be a Physical Therapist. This is a job requiring a Master's Degree (I don't have one in any field, let alone PT) and licensure by the State Board of Physical Therapy (I don't have that either) and yet, this is the job I am advised to apply for. Brilliant application of technology here.
Next we come to a listing from a local school district (a miracle in itself due to massive budget shortfalls and ensuing lay-offs). The position is for a Chemnistry teacher (sic). This is a local school district which very arrogantly proclaims its superiority to the other districts in the area. Uh-huh...moving on...
A bit further down the page I see a listing for a preschool teacher. The employer requires various certifications and there must be several security clearances and for all this professional preparation the generous salary of $7.75/hour. That's right folks, for just 50 cents above the minimum wage they expect to attract a loving, creative, energetic professional who provides youngsters a strong foundation to begin their academic lives....oh, and to tolerate being a human hankie.
Next I decided to move off the State website and search local school district websites. I found one district page that was designed entirely using the comic sans font. Yet, I am the one who is supposed to be concerned about presenting a professional demeanor. The web designer needs to be fired.
And there are people wondering why education doesn't attract the best and brightest....
Monday, October 31, 2011
72 Days
If you know anything about me you know I don't give a fat rat's ass about celebrity news, unless, of course, it has to do with the ever-delectable Hugh Jackman. When it comes to celebrity I tend to think people ought to at least have some actual talent as a performer, artist of some sort, athlete. Better yet they ought to have contributed something of lasting value to humankind like a Nobel Laureate has.
The Kardashians meet none of my criteria. For that reason they only barely register on my radar as even existing. Even though I try to avoid all mention of people like them unless I loved under a rock it would have been hard to miss the hooplah surrounding the recent nuptials and now impending divorce after all of 72 days. Mind-boggling. I won't go on an extended rant about how this nonsense grabs headlines over what's going on in Libya, or Iraq, or Afghanistan, though if it distracts from some of the ridiculous circus that is the jockeying for position among Republicans I guess that is something. Really, some of those people could compete with the Kardashians for lack of substance....but I digress.
Seventy-two whopping days. Are you kidding me? I'd joke about having socks older than that but 72 day old socks are still pretty much new in my book.
Seventy-two days? It takes longer than that to go from planting a seed to plucking a ripe and juicy tomato from the vine. Kim may be quite a lil tomato but in 72 days she ain't even a ripe one yet.
The life span of bed bug can be far longer than 72 days. So had the young couple honeymooned at a less than well-kept hotel that bloodsucking creature Kris whatshisface may have shared a bed with could still plague him even after the divorce...so could the bed bugs, for that matter.
In 72 days in 1972 the Uruguayan rugby team that crashed in the Andes went from healthy athletes to cannibals. Looks like it only took 72 days for these two nitwits to eat each other alive too.
Other things lasting longer than this marriage:
The Kardashians meet none of my criteria. For that reason they only barely register on my radar as even existing. Even though I try to avoid all mention of people like them unless I loved under a rock it would have been hard to miss the hooplah surrounding the recent nuptials and now impending divorce after all of 72 days. Mind-boggling. I won't go on an extended rant about how this nonsense grabs headlines over what's going on in Libya, or Iraq, or Afghanistan, though if it distracts from some of the ridiculous circus that is the jockeying for position among Republicans I guess that is something. Really, some of those people could compete with the Kardashians for lack of substance....but I digress.
Seventy-two whopping days. Are you kidding me? I'd joke about having socks older than that but 72 day old socks are still pretty much new in my book.
Seventy-two days? It takes longer than that to go from planting a seed to plucking a ripe and juicy tomato from the vine. Kim may be quite a lil tomato but in 72 days she ain't even a ripe one yet.
The life span of bed bug can be far longer than 72 days. So had the young couple honeymooned at a less than well-kept hotel that bloodsucking creature Kris whatshisface may have shared a bed with could still plague him even after the divorce...so could the bed bugs, for that matter.
In 72 days in 1972 the Uruguayan rugby team that crashed in the Andes went from healthy athletes to cannibals. Looks like it only took 72 days for these two nitwits to eat each other alive too.
Other things lasting longer than this marriage:
- The smell in the fridge when we moved into this house and found a piece of fermented bologna in the back of one of the shelves
- The fresh breath from a curiously strong Altoids mint
- The bad breath from the garlic knots at my favorite Italian place (not even Altoids can neutralize it)
- The span of time Mr. Lime went as a college freshman without changing his bedsheets
- The resulting ringworm infection
- New car smell
- The span of time I've gone without dusting the house
- The number of days I could not bend over and tie my own shoes during the end of pregnancy with Isaac (What? I'm only 5'4" and he was 9.5 lbs!)
- Iron Butterfly's Inna Gadda Da Vida seems like it lasts longer
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Critical Thinking
Our high school is requiring THREE rehearsals for graduation. THREE. What do the graduates have to do for graduation? They have to line up in a prescribed order, enter the stadium in a line, sit down, and wait for their names to be called before going on the stage to receive a diploma. This is not a particularly complex thing. They've been pretty much doing this sort of thing since the first day of kindergarten when they had to line up at the door, sit in assigned spots, and respond during roll call.
That administration is requiring THREE rehearsals of at least a couple hours each for the behavior the students have been engaging in for 13 years speaks of how little faith they have in the education they have provided for our children, dontcha think?
That administration is requiring THREE rehearsals of at least a couple hours each for the behavior the students have been engaging in for 13 years speaks of how little faith they have in the education they have provided for our children, dontcha think?
Monday, June 06, 2011
What Flavor Dipping Sauce Pairs Well with Crispy Administrators?
May I just say I can't wait for Calypso to be done with school not only for the normal reasons but because I am sick to death of the smug administration and its extreme level of bullshit. Each year they seem to think they know more and more than I do about what is best for my child. This year it's reached ridiculous proportions. I've had to have a doctor's excuse for Calypso to carry....hold onto your hats, you're never gonna believe this.....WATER. Now at the end of the year they have a long ceremony outdoors for Seniors receiving awards and Juniors moving up. Students have been told no hats or sunglasses. Well, in case they haven't been listening, people are supposed to take care in the sun under normal circumstances. Calypso is on antibiotics which significantly increase her sensitivity to sun and has been told to be hyper-vigilant about protecting herself. To that end I purchased a large wide-brimmed hat for her. Given she has two red-heads in her family, one of whom recently had skin cancer removed, we are no strangers to sun-protection mode.
Today she came home after being told she needed documentation about her medications and the necessary measures. (Oh go self-fornicate, you fully dilated anuses!) I have copied and highlighted the insert which came with the prescription. I have printed off CDC guidelines for sun protection. I have written a letter outlining the doctor's instructions and suggesting not only should they not be hassling my kid but they should be encouraging the entire student body to wear hats and sunscreen. If they give Calypso any more crap I am tempted to strip the offender naked, tie him or her up to the field goal posts in the end-zone, and situate a large magnifying glass over said individual until this person is fried to a lovely crisp...oh, and no water will be given.
Today she came home after being told she needed documentation about her medications and the necessary measures. (Oh go self-fornicate, you fully dilated anuses!) I have copied and highlighted the insert which came with the prescription. I have printed off CDC guidelines for sun protection. I have written a letter outlining the doctor's instructions and suggesting not only should they not be hassling my kid but they should be encouraging the entire student body to wear hats and sunscreen. If they give Calypso any more crap I am tempted to strip the offender naked, tie him or her up to the field goal posts in the end-zone, and situate a large magnifying glass over said individual until this person is fried to a lovely crisp...oh, and no water will be given.
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