Sunday, July 10, 2011

Observations from the Beach

My escape has passed and now it's back to reality.  My time away had some rather interesting moments as did Mr. Lime's time holding down the fort in my absence.

As I mentioned, Dad's place has not yet gained a certificate of occupancy so we stayed with my cross-dressing step-uncle's house.  Ironically, Dad's place seemed closer to ready as the unc's place is a work in progress.  I think his hobby is building something, tearing it apart, and redoing it.  My room was over the garage.  Here are the steps leading to it.  They were a wee tad treacherous.  The odd-ball half step in the middle requires a specific take off foot from each direction.




Sitting on the beach on a holiday weekend provides a variety of opportunities for people watching.  Life around the beach house allowed for some note-worthy observations too.

Under the "Things that Make You Go Hhmm'" file I noticed:

  • Those treacherous steps seemed easier to navigate when I had 4 mimosas and 2 bellinis in me.  Strange but true.
  • There is something incongruous about a heavily-tattooed, beer-swilling guy lolling in a pink inner tube.
  • Even if I have no land line and only spotty, intermittent cell service my family will find a way to let me know all the various levels of drama that continues in my absence.  (Dead car, dead aunt of husband you haven't seen in 7 years, lightning strike, dead router & cable modem).  However, they will be entirely unable to communicate regarding MAJOR financial outlays.  Simply fascinating.
  • If you are a woman who weighs over 400 lbs, who has a bosom requiring a bra that could double as a baby sling for twin toddlers, who requires a scooter to get to the beach, and you are wearing a strapless suit I'd have to say attempting a dive into the water may be ill-advised at best.
  • People who have been the victims of bigotry are still VERY capable of displaying shocking examples of similar behavior.
  • Young women, if you think someday you may want to bear a child you may want to reconsider the large tattoo encircling your navel.  I've seen what happens in bright technicolor and highlighted by a bikini.  
  • I can't imagine ever wanting to appear in public in high heels and a see-thru pink latex catsuit but I think it would be a hoot to go out with my uncle when he's in that outfit.

15 comments:

G-Man said...

No Pics???
Grrrrrr............

G-Man said...

Aaaa..
I got Your Frickin Yahtzee right here!!!!

BBC said...

The odd-ball half step in the middle requires a specific take off foot from each direction.

I made some steps like that about seven years ago, but each step had a half step for it, to make it easier for an old lady to use them being as it was in a place I couldn't install a ramp.

Beach Bum said...

If you are a woman who weighs over 400 lbs...

Seen someone very similar at the beach once myself and while we are all God's children entitled to rights and respect you have no one to blame but yourself if your loose bathing suit comes undone in the waves.

This particular lady, along with her kinfolk, were utter asses on the beach that day so I did not feel sorry for her as she scrambled buck naked out of the water to the first towel she could grab.

Pearl said...

Should you get the opportunity to go out with your uncle and he wears that latex catsuit, enquiring minds will most definitely want a picture of it...

:-)

Fabulous observations.

Pearl

haphazardlife said...

Pearl beat me to it. I want your uncle. My family is incredibly boring.

Craig said...

I'm familiar with the 'tear-it-up-and-rebuild' mindset; a couple of my friends are that way. Whereas I mainly incline to building something cool and enjoying it in perpetuity. . .

Those stairs are just incredibly cool (altho I can imagine a near-fatal accident if I were to attempt to navigate them on a few margaritas. . .)

400-lb woman falling out of strapless swimsuit. . . searching for mental knitting needles with which to blind my mind to that image. . .

Uncle in see-thru pink latex catsuit. . . searching for even larger-gage mental knitting needles. . .

Cosima said...

I need no pics...lol. My imagination is dirty enough, and you described it wonderfully :)

Suldog said...

The beach does tend to offer up sights one wouldn't ordinarily imagine (or want to.)

Rob said...

It COULD be worse! Imagine that 400 pounder in a pink, see-through cat suit and heels! (Of course, the tattooed, beer-swilling guy would probably find her attractive -- as a flotation device!)

Glad you're home, safe and sound -- and presumably tanned and rested?! Looking forward to more "tales from the front" (Maryland shorefront that is!)

Always entertaining, thought-provoking, and illuminating to read your posts, Ms. Lime (my favorite "sweet tart"!) ;-)

P.S. My "word verification" word was: "Waxed" (I kid you not!) Lol

silly rabbit said...

Sounds like a perfect get away from normal life to me. ;-) What a pile of memories you took home!

secret agent woman said...

A few of those photos might be a little difficult to erase from my mind!

snowelf said...

I think I love your uncle. And in fact, I love your whole family. And what the heck is up with all that drama at your house!! That's not cool.

People watching at the beach is the BEST!! :)

--snow

coopernicus said...

great...i'm never going to get to sleep tonight....

Jocelyn said...

I want a picture of your uncle in that outfit on the middle stair with a few bellinis in him.

I bowl better after three beers, too, so there's logic to the "drink, and gain coordination" business.