Friday, August 09, 2013

Rockin' the Radioactivity (or A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Nuke)

I am officially quarantined as radioactive.  The good news it's only a couple of days and on Sunday I can both go out in public and eat with out restrictions.  I intend to have an eclair the size of my forearm and a perfectly made grilled cheese sandwich and hard pretzels....and...I digress.

In the meantime I still have a couple of days of exile through which to amuse myself.  I've been working on play lists of music which obviously include this for the classic rock lovers among us and this for those preferring more current tunes.  One friend called me Hot Blooded.  My cousin asked if I was now a Glow Worm.  Another friend offered Great Balls of Fire.  After being ushered to a room with what I presume was a lead lined container, watching a small vial be extracted from it by a gloved technician who then handed it to me to swallow the contents I returned to my family singing, "This little (radioactive) light of mine, I'm gonna let is shine."  I need some more suggestions from all of you.

Pondering music and some of my limitations and side effects, both potentially real and fun to imagine, has led to what I consider to be some good names for rock bands.  For my amusement and, I hope, yours I suggest the following:

Atomic Burp (I have this weird sensation in my throat and digestive system, not intolerable but I am kind of wishing I could just belch to relieve it.  TMI?  Sorry, you may prefer to skip ahead a bit if eructation is disturbing.)

Snot Rockets (We all know what they are but since my dose of nuclear materials I am told the most dangerous thing about me is anything my body secretes or excretes so my snot rockets would have a special potency.  You've been warned.  It's only going to get worse from here on out.)

Spit Glow (Unfortunately this sounds more like a sad 70s era soft rock group than anything I'd want to listen to.)

Nuclear Piss (I'm told my urine is what will be the most radioactive.)

Hot Vomit (I was told by the nuclear safety officer before being discharged that if I puked within 4 hours of receiving my dose I'd need to contact them so they could help decontaminate the area in which I hurl. Isn't that special?)

So, what are your thoughts as to music I ought to be playing or names of rock bands I could form?


Leave It To Davis said...

With so many of my friends and family having cancer and going through treatment, and with my dad having died of cancer, I have a very hard time being as cheerful about this as you do. I know it is your way of coping.

I just want you to know that you are in my prayers and in my thoughts constantly, and though I may not comment on your posts (because my sense of humor isn't as good as yours!), I am checking on you every time you post and am waiting for you to tell us you are cured. Then, I will be able to laugh about all this!

Jackie said...

Oh man!!
You rock!!
I am amazed at this post...I didn't know that a patient was actually radioactive after the treatment (duh, me...I should have guess it, but my mind can be shallow like that.)
I do wish you all the best...AND I'm voting that you have a grilled mammoth cheese sandwich eclair with pretzels holding it together.
You go girl!!
Sending you love and prayers,

joeh said...

I am a new follower, if you have a spouse he could sing "You light up my wife!"

Keep you sense of humor, it will get you through these tough times.

I'll throw in a prayer as well. It couldn't hurt!

Stephen Hayes said...

Neil Diamond had a song based on E.T. with lyrics that could be changed to : Let your f*rt light glow.

I've never heard of these side effects. WOW!

Craver Vii said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Craver Vii said...

If it's not baroque, don't fix it. Try:
Bach's Tocatta and Fusion in D Minor
Rossini's William Tell Overexposure
Strauss' Irridescent Blue Danube
Debussy's Clair de Nuke
Strauss Sr.'s Radioactzky's March

But if you feel like you need to really rock out, there's The Atomic Punk by Van Halen.

Bijoux said...

Wow....thanks for the linkees. I haven't heard The Firm song in decades! Imagine Dragons are my fave new band. The 'Demons' song makes me cry everytime I hear it.

You are a trooper, Lime. I'm not sure I could amuse myself half as much as you do. Eat a big ole chocolate covered cream stick for me when this is over.


Secret Agent Woman said...

Sunday will roll around before you know it. I hope you enjoy the hell out of your back-to-normal meal!

Sailor said...

Keep the spirits up, thinking of you and praying- go listen to the Electron Light Orchestra; or perhaps you should watch a movie, Back to the Protons?

Craig said...

See, now you've got me thinking of a toilet full of Nuclear Piss, and what it might look like. . .

And, "This little light of mine. . .". . . You win. . . Your powers are too great for me. . .

And, per JoeH, Mr. Lime is officially on the hook for "You Light Up My Wife". . .

Beach Bum said...

One question, has Homeland Security contacted you yet about being a potential weapon of mass destruction?

Kat said...

I think your husband should sing to you, "Blinded by the wife (light)". That might work.

You could trip the light fantastic to Ray of Light, but I'm not a huge Madonna fan so that one is iffy.

Either way, you should just enjoy (yeah right) your time in the Limelight. ;)

I'm so happy that you are able to eat normally again soon! I can not imagine how difficult that was. And I will eat an eclair the size of my forearm in your honor. And your welcome.

Daryl said...

i dont know but i wonder if you could turn on the radio or tv with your super radioactive powers

Hilary said...

Your sense of humour will take you far. You are such a shining (heh) example of strength and good character.

Good thing you kept it all down. I wouldn't want the Hazmat Hurl Hunter job.

Your theme song this summer must be Isomer Time, and the Living is Queasy.

Suldog said...

I'm not sure this qualifies, but the first song that came to mind for me was "Radar Love" by Golden Earring.

Others that probably fit the subject matter much better:

Well, hell, I must be slipping, but the only other one I can think of at the moment that mentions radiation is "Electric Funeral" by Black Sabbath (which, even though it's a true downer of a song and probably not the sort of uplifting stuff I'd prescribe for you at present, it is worth a listen just to hear Ozzy Osbourne singing "Lectric fyoonrll! Lectric fyoonrll! Lectric fyoonrll! Lectric fyoonrll!" during the bridge.)

~Tim said...

You're so brilliant and now you glow in the dark too!

You must add Watchin' Joey Glow by the late, great Steve Goodman to your playlist.

Logophile said...

sooo, what did you eat?