The library is still in disarray. There are over 100 boxes of books still waiting to be unpacked. A week ago the principal told me I could re-shelve this week. I asked if the shelves were in place because, ya know, shelves move better, far less hernia-inducing, without books on them. I received no answer. Upon my return I had to tiptoe around standardized testing. It didn't matter, I had no shelves. I had no computer. I was given no roster even after asking for it twice. Essentially I had none of the tools necessary to perform my duties....after THREE weeks and multiple requests.
I did however have several teachers ask me how soon circulation would begin. They asked this while standing amidst the chaos of all the boxes, a circulation desk with no computer, and shelves in bizarre positions. I merely responded with, "When the books are on the shelves." Some offered sympathy at the great task before me. Others asked when that would be, to which I answered, "I can do that when the shelves are in place. I put in a work order three weeks ago since they are too heavy to move by myself." One snottily intoned, "Well that's not working out. Guess you'd better come up with a better plan." She's lucky I want to keep my job otherwise an alternate plan might have involved using her as a furniture slide. Another was quite put out when she came looking for fairy tale books and I told her they were still in boxes. She wanted to know if they'd be available by next week. Not likely, sweetheart, but thanks for your interest. One inexplicably asked if trombone lessons were being held in the library. Oh, of course, because that's the most rational place for trombone lessons to be conducted. Hand to God, I am not making any of this crap up.
In the entire building, exactly one teacher welcomed me back. In fact she came looking for me specifically because she was concerned since she knew I had been out on medical leave and she hadn't seen me in three weeks. She wanted to make sure I was doing ok and offer me a place to vent because she couldn't believe the way the library had been left and that I was being offered no help. God bless this woman. She's not even at the building full-time. She's just a sweet person with a sense of decency...much appreciated on such an aggravating day.
Since I was advised to "come up with a better plan," here is the email I sent out to all faculty and staff, including the principal and the assistant principal.
If you have been to the library you may have noticed it is still not ready for circulation. Since circulation is my job and I'd actually like to be able to do my job I need to get the books on the shelves. However, three large shelves need to be moved into place before I can begin putting books on them. The sooner they are in place the sooner the books go back. The sooner the books go back the sooner I can get your classes down here to use the library for its primary purpose...checking out books and materials to promote the love of reading and enhance the education of all the kids in this school.
Here's the problem. The shelves are too heavy for me to move alone. I need some folks willing to lend their muscles to the task. I know you all are busy and have an awful lot to accomplish in very little time. I know the morning before students arrive is prep time. I am asking...no...I am begging for a few of you to come to the library tomorrow morning by 8:15am to help me move THREE shelves. It should take 4 people about 15 minutes. More people means less time. Shelves in place allow books to be put in place. Books in place allows the library to be used (also once my computer is set up).
If my entreaty on behalf of the library and students is not enough to motivate you then allow me to bribe you with baked goods. Yes, there will be a treat for any staff member who helps with the heavy lifting. Books and baked goods.....be there or go hungry...both intellectually and gastronomically.
Thank you for your consideration.
I figured offering baked goods would be less likely to get me in hot water (with both Mr. Lime and the administration) than offering blow jobs. To that end I baked this. And lest anyone thinks I make idle threats or hollow promises, ONLY those working will partake of it.