Sunday, September 29, 2013

Hey Look! It's a Post That's NOT About Libraries!

Diana has recently moved back home and Calypso has opted not to leave just yet.  That means we once again have a full house.  It's been a bit of a re-adjustment.  It's a strange thing to have a house full of alleged adults who have spent most of their lives together but who now have to figure out new ways of relating to each other. Of course we're all on our own schedules and we don't always get to sit down to a meal together but when we do things like this happen.  Isaac posed the following questions:

Would you, armed only with your own bare hands, prefer to fight off 100 duck-sized horses or a single horse-sized duck? Assume in either scenario that the creatures are intending to kill you.

Cat or dog for dinner? Assume rotisserie preparation.

Chocolate-flavored poop or poop-flavored chocolate? Assume the danger of some god awful infection is eliminated.  You may chose which creature provides the poop.


The negotiation of terms regarding each choice was specific and debate around the table was quite vigorous.  I mean really, even in a large herd mini horses don't seem all that terrifying to me though Isaac says their ability to bite should not be underestimated.  The issue as to whether the cat or dog had been a pet, was feral, or was farmed was also discussed. Various breeds were also considered with regard to taste, ease of preparation, and overall meat yield. There was extensive conversation as to the poop and chocolate issue which resulted in the agreement that the poop was somehow devoid of it's disease-bearing qualities.  In retrospect we should have spelled out whether or not the poop-flavoring was all natural or artificial. Such is the dinner conversation a House of Lime when the gang's all here.  Apparently some things never change.


If you think that's disgusting, at least we are more productive in our discussions than Congress is in theirs.

17 comments:

Craig said...

Sometimes your family is profoundly weird. . .

We are well familiar with the 'Who's-living-here-now?' phenomenon. Just at the moment, we have 7M and 8M, who are still minor children in school; 6F, who is at the junior college and hasn't left yet; 4M, a senior at the Mega-State University up the road, who moved back home for a year to save costs and keep his student-load balance down; and 1F, who is between gigs living with age-peer women in town. It's nice to have them around (we do kinda like them), but, as you say, it's a different dynamic with adults who are managing their own lives and schedules

Stephen Hayes said...

I think it would be easier to survive one horse-sized duck trying to kill me than a hundred small horses. Remember that scene in Jurassic Park where those tiny dinosaurs devoured that guy?

Jackie said...

OK...
I'm just scratching my head.
You know that proverbial "fly on the wall." Would have loved to been him at your dinner table.
And...you are sooo right about the Congress' discussions.
Hugs,
J.

joeh said...

How is it that your house is not a prime time reality show?

Beach Bum said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Beach Bum said...

As a young child I was attacked by a large, evil swan and still harbor ill feelings to all real life water fowl. The exception being Daffy Duck who is sort of a hero.

So I'd go with 100 duck-sized horses. As for all subjects related to poop I will abstain.

As for Congress, I have nothing good to say about those idiots.

Bijoux said...

It was a delightful conversation until you brought up Congress!

Tabor said...

Yes it was a disgusting conversation but better than anything about Congress! Once you re-establish any ground rules a re-united family should be fun.

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

I believe the best conversations, even scatological ones, occur at the family dinner table

I also believe family dinner should not be rushed

I am a mealtime Luddite because I think that the kids, once they start eating with adults, should have to remain at the table until they are excused

Kat said...

I really, really want to come and have dinner with your family. Seriously. I love you all.

Also, I would not underestimate the mini horses' ability to kick. That is a lot of little kicks. Ouch. I think I'd take the horse-sized duck. Do I get a weapon? And extra large sword at least? Piece of cake.

(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip, said...

I don't know anything about horse sized ducks, but in Redding.

(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip, said...

Well... dang!

Blooger totally biffed my comment (couldn't possibly be anything I did?).

It was supposed to say "I don't know anything about horse sized ducks, but this duck showed up in Pittsburgh.

While in we had about 3000 little ducks in Redding.

~Tim said...

I would make dinner for you and your family just to be around and listen while you eat it.

Secret Agent Woman said...

We used to play this game at dinner. Our own home-made version of "Would You Rather?"

Hilary said...

I just can't imagine where your kids get their crazies. ;)

Suldog said...

I won't reiterate my choices, having given them to you on Facebook, but I will add that MY WIFE and I would certainly like to take part in one of these conversations someday, live.

Jocelyn said...

You know my answers to these already.

So a full house again? Sounds both fun and challenging...