Watching My Back

Long time readers may recall that I used to live in Trinidad, West Indies.  Upon our return to the US we lived with my mother while Mr. Lime looked for the work that landed us where were currently live.  During that time living with my mother, she and Calypso forged a strong bond.  When Calypso was about 4 or 5 she made the following statement:


If our house burned down we could go live with Grammy again.

She said it with eyes shining full of hope and excitement.

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When Isaac was about 3 all the kids began lobbying heavily for a cat or a dog.  Aside from not wanting to have one more creature to clean up after I told the kids I was too allergic to cats and dogs to live with them, which is true.  There were a number of counter arguments but none so shocking as Calypso's.

C: (with an expression as if she has just had a stroke of genius) If you died we could have a cat or a dog!

Me: (Somewhat reluctantly)  Well...uh...theoretically yes...since that would take care of the whole allergy problem but would you rather have a dog or a cat or a mommy?

C: (pondering a moment) Hhmm...A dog or a cat because if you were dead you'd be with Jesus and that's a good thing!

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Some tine after that we had a couple deaths in the family and inherited items began to appear in our home.  After noticing the correlation, Calypso began to ask a certain question whenever she admired something that belonged to someone else.

Can I have that when you die?

It was all enough to make a mother a bit paranoid.

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Many years passed in relative peace .and I thought I was safe but recently a couple more things have come up that make me wonder.  Several months ago there was an extended conversation about whether or not a large pepperoni could be successfully employed as a murder weapon.  Calypso decided freezing it to make it rock solid then making pizza with it after the crime to eliminate the evidence would be the way to go.

This weekend we went grocery shopping.

C: (picking up a 2 lb. block of herbed monterey jack cheese) I wonder if this could be a good murder weapon.

Me: No, too soft.

C: (replacing the m.j. cheese and holding up a 3 lb. block of cheddar)  What about this?  It says it's extra sharp.

Ok, I don't think she truly meant the cheese as a weapon.  I just about died laughing though.