Sunday, August 21, 2011

Watching My Back

Long time readers may recall that I used to live in Trinidad, West Indies.  Upon our return to the US we lived with my mother while Mr. Lime looked for the work that landed us where were currently live.  During that time living with my mother, she and Calypso forged a strong bond.  When Calypso was about 4 or 5 she made the following statement:


If our house burned down we could go live with Grammy again.

She said it with eyes shining full of hope and excitement.

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When Isaac was about 3 all the kids began lobbying heavily for a cat or a dog.  Aside from not wanting to have one more creature to clean up after I told the kids I was too allergic to cats and dogs to live with them, which is true.  There were a number of counter arguments but none so shocking as Calypso's.

C: (with an expression as if she has just had a stroke of genius) If you died we could have a cat or a dog!

Me: (Somewhat reluctantly)  Well...uh...theoretically yes...since that would take care of the whole allergy problem but would you rather have a dog or a cat or a mommy?

C: (pondering a moment) Hhmm...A dog or a cat because if you were dead you'd be with Jesus and that's a good thing!

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Some tine after that we had a couple deaths in the family and inherited items began to appear in our home.  After noticing the correlation, Calypso began to ask a certain question whenever she admired something that belonged to someone else.

Can I have that when you die?

It was all enough to make a mother a bit paranoid.

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Many years passed in relative peace .and I thought I was safe but recently a couple more things have come up that make me wonder.  Several months ago there was an extended conversation about whether or not a large pepperoni could be successfully employed as a murder weapon.  Calypso decided freezing it to make it rock solid then making pizza with it after the crime to eliminate the evidence would be the way to go.

This weekend we went grocery shopping.

C: (picking up a 2 lb. block of herbed monterey jack cheese) I wonder if this could be a good murder weapon.

Me: No, too soft.

C: (replacing the m.j. cheese and holding up a 3 lb. block of cheddar)  What about this?  It says it's extra sharp.

Ok, I don't think she truly meant the cheese as a weapon.  I just about died laughing though.

17 comments:

Hilary said...

Too funny, that girl... but yes, watch your back. Thanks for the laughs.

secret agent woman said...

My older son went through a phase of saying things like, "When you die, can I have that cabinet?" Every time I'd answer, "Honey, when I die it's all yours."

Jazz said...

I think Calypso might be dangerous...

Love the pepperoni idea.

Bijoux said...

Funny! I don't think my kids have ever even thought about any of those scenarios!

Suldog said...

There was an episode of the old "Alfred Hitchcock Show" on TV wherein a murder was committed with a leg of lamb. The culprit cooked it, the evidence was eaten, and she got away with it (kind of, as TV rules wouldn't allow a murderer to get away with it, so Mr. Hitchcock had to come back after the commercial and say something to the effect of "She was caught later by [not truly believable thing]")

Anyway, if you ever have the opportunity to get that episode on DVD or something, and show it to Calypso, I'm sure she would be gratified!

j. littlejohn said...

cheddar is certainly the most dangerous of all cheeses haha

~Tim said...

Don't worry, Lime. We'll protect you!

But, uh, in the event of an accident, could I have your camera?

G-Man said...

She's a slice off the old Block!

Kat said...

Okay. I feel better. I thought it was just my kids that talked about my death so nonchalantly. We have seriously had each one of these discussions. My kids love to point out what stuff of mine they want when I die. Lovely. And they always talk about moving out and getting a cat. I tell them, "Well then I won't be able to visit you for very long periods of time." and they say, "That's okay. We'll visit you." Oh dear.
;)
Stinky kids.

Kat said...

Oh...
The extra sharp comment is a HOOT! Very clever! :)

Retiredandcrazy said...

That is one switched on kid!

KFarmer said...

Ok, that was too dang funny! I love your kids : )

Craig said...

Keep an eye on that one. . .

My kids, too, have been known to lay plans for divvying up my stuff when I'm gone. I always just tell 'em that first they have to outlive me. . .

Vicky said...

Just want to say thank you for a wonderful blog that made me remember that you have to keep on fighting and that it is worth it. Just at a time when I was feeling a bit low and not wanting to fight all the time. Thank you again for sharing.

cathy said...

An apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?

The other day one of my daughters said," Mummy when you get old I will look after you, but dad is going in an old folks home."

Craver Vii said...

Clever, clever Calypso.

Dave said...

Michelle, seems like you were living on a knife edge when Calypso was young? She preferred a pet to her Mum? Mmmm... - Dave