PARIS (AFP) - Chocoholic germs can reportedly provide hydrogen, the clean-burning energy of the future. British scientists fed Escherichia coli bacteria a diluted mix of waste caramel and nougat. The germs tucked into the sugar and in the process produced hydrogen, using their own enzyme, called hydrogenase, New Scientist reports. The hydrogen was used to power a fuel cell, generating enough electricity to drive a small fan. The experiment has applications far beyond the lab. Waste chocolate, instead of being thrown away by confectionary companies, could be turned into hydrogen and used to help power their factories or sold to energy companies.
Ok, I have some SERIOUS issues with all of this research. Waste chocolate??? Chocolate being thrown away??? WHAT is the world coming to?! Why was I not informed of this senseless tragedy? I am shocked! Nay, horrified! Now they are using this waste chocolate as a power source! I'm outraged! This exploitation of unwanted chocolate is completely intolerable.
To that end I am beginning a campaign for all confectioners to send any excess, allegedly 'waste' chocolate to House of Lime where it will be fully appreciated. I am constructing a vat for my personal chocolate bath/spa. Should I receive chocolate in excess of the vat's holding capacity and my own ability to consume without doubling my current weight I will begin charitable donations to needy parties. Those wishing to receive the chocolate benevolence may join me in the spa to discuss their need as well as their ability to provide a suitable home for 'waste' chocolate.