Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Weird News Wednesday-Why Was I Not Consulted???

PARIS (AFP) - Chocoholic germs can reportedly provide hydrogen, the clean-burning energy of the future. British scientists fed Escherichia coli bacteria a diluted mix of waste caramel and nougat. The germs tucked into the sugar and in the process produced hydrogen, using their own enzyme, called hydrogenase, New Scientist reports. The hydrogen was used to power a fuel cell, generating enough electricity to drive a small fan. The experiment has applications far beyond the lab. Waste chocolate, instead of being thrown away by confectionary companies, could be turned into hydrogen and used to help power their factories or sold to energy companies.

Ok, I have some SERIOUS issues with all of this research. Waste chocolate??? Chocolate being thrown away??? WHAT is the world coming to?! Why was I not informed of this senseless tragedy? I am shocked! Nay, horrified! Now they are using this waste chocolate as a power source! I'm outraged! This exploitation of unwanted chocolate is completely intolerable.

To that end I am beginning a campaign for all confectioners to send any excess, allegedly 'waste' chocolate to House of Lime where it will be fully appreciated. I am constructing a vat for my personal chocolate bath/spa. Should I receive chocolate in excess of the vat's holding capacity and my own ability to consume without doubling my current weight I will begin charitable donations to needy parties. Those wishing to receive the chocolate benevolence may join me in the spa to discuss their need as well as their ability to provide a suitable home for 'waste' chocolate.

14 comments:

Sheri said...

waste chocolate? I had no idea there was even such a thing! the horror of it all.

I'll sign your petition to put an end to this blasphemy!

steve said...

Oh My Gosh what the world coming to?? :-}

James Goodman said...

Lol! Free the Chocolate!

Fred said...

That explains why I "explode" whenever I eat chocolate.

Chickadee said...

WASTE chocolate? I didn't know people "wasted" chocolate. Chocolate is lucky to last a day in my house. Those who waste chocolate are not truly chocolate lovers. LOL.

AlRo said...

Never had a sweet-tooth - but i think this would be a neat alternative to powering your car!!!

We'll have Cadbury Gas-Stations !! LOL

Posted my Happy Humpday Caption pics at my place... Good Mayhem Wed. :)

Logophile said...

Sign me up, sistah.

Rob said...

Oh Limey, thanks for bringing this to our attention!

I think this goes way beyond the obvious issue of why in the hell anyone would allow perfectly good chocolate to go to waste. Follow me here... Today, the mad scientists conduct their little alchemist experiments, converting allegedly "waste" chocolate into energy. Tomorrow, corrupt politicians and special interests (including greedy corporations) will pave the way to create "unwanted chocolate" for the sole purpose of powering their Hummers! I say we're headed down a slippery slope here. It's time for grassroots action. It may take a Constitutional amendment to put a stop to this madness. Who knows what some maverick judges might do to pervert the original intent of the Founding Fathers if they are given the opportunity to find some "penumbra" within the interstate commerce provisions of that hallowed document that allows unethical opportunists to take advantage of this occult science? I say we need to be proactive and head this off before it can gain a foothold in the American lexicon and get rammed down our throats by a hodge-podge of extremists in the media, academia, inside-the-beltway politicians, and unscrupulous business people! I say UNITE people! We need ACTION! NOW! No truffles for (gas) tanks! NOT IN MY NAME! Who's with me???!

Whew! I got myself a little wound up over this one! I feel better now... ;-)

Seamus said...

so......if you were into moonshine you'd then be horrified at the use of corn to produce ethanol? Hmmmmm?

Tommy Gunn said...

OK, I don't need any of the overflow but I know a few girls that do during certain ... er, delicate moments. So sign me up and I will pay it forward. As far as that vat of chocolate goes, make sure the kids are gone to an all day movie. K? K.
TG
ps. knwwling will be fine! ;0)

Tommy Gunn said...

kneeling ... pffft! See what you do to me?
tg

Jodes said...

did you say personal vat of chocolate? where do i get one?

Robert van de Walle said...

As long as the chocolate-filled spa is clothing optional, I'm SO THERE!

Furthermore, I'd feel no regrets about anything that might happen. Uh, that WOULD happen.

Robert van de Walle said...

Whew, I guess the thought of all that chocolate tears away any shred of decency I might have left.

Best to not invite me over, in that case.