Susie has challenged me to divulge 8 secrets. She posted about all sorts of naughtiness in her younger days and seems to think her challenge will cause me to do the same. Hhhhmm, we shall see...secrets, secrets, whose got a secret...
1. I created Colonel Sanders' secret recipe. I even invented one of the 11 herbs and spices. Sshhh, don't tell anyone...it's floor sweepings.
2. I also hold the formula to Coca-Cola. I am NOT taking responsibility for the New Coke fiasco. Incompetent underlings...
3. I helped perform the autopsy on the Area 51 aliens. We preserved DNA samples which have been used in cloning experiments. I'm really not at liberty to divulge much more but you should carefully watch Pat Robertson, Al Gore, William Hung, and Paris Hilton...some of our experiments went horribly awry.
4. Jimmy Hoffa is not swimming with the fishes in the East River, nor is he in the Giants endzone. He's working as a clerk at the convenience market where Elvis shops.
5. Former Australian PM Harold Holt, who mysteriously disappeared during an ocean dip in 1967, occasionally pops into the same market.
6. Victoria's Secret is that she used to be a man. She confided in me but I'm angry at her because she never carries my size bra in stock. So there!
7. I am letting David Copperfield think he has found the Fountain of Youth in the Bahamas just so he doesn't bother me when I go back to Trinidad.
Ok, I know that while Susie is giggling right now she is also annoyed that I haven't actually dished any dirt on myself so...
8. My prom date really was 30 years old. I was 17.