Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Weird Wednesday-Of Bloodlines and Lines to the Ladies' Room or How My Husband Owes his Pedigree to my Urinary Tract Infection

The news is simply not silly enough these days. I scanned to find something worthy of mockery and came up wanting. I was however discussing family lineage with a friend recently. I mentioned that until our honeymoon Mr. Lime and his family were entirely ignorant of their own history and how they all had managed to find themselves in the New World.

Mr. Lime and I were in Disney World for our honeymoon. I had managed to develop a rather unpleasant UTI, which required careful planning of which amusement to enjoy based upon its proximity to a restroom. 'Oh look honey! Space Mountain is right next to the bathroom, let's go there next!' See a sight, mark my territory. Ride a ride, run to the bathroom. It was quite the highlight I can tell you.

During one of my 3 dozen trips to the ladies' room Mr. Lime was waiting patiently outisde for me with the crowd of other men holding shopping bags, purses and other accountrements necessary for a day in the Magic Kingdom. We have an uncommon last name and he happened to notice next to him a fellow with a camera strap bearing our last name. He struck up a conversation and after a few minutes came to realize that he could go far enough back in his family line to tie us into the lineage this guy had researched, which brought Mr. Lime's family over from England prior to the American Revolution. We exchanged addresses and this gentleman was kind enough to send us a copy of the geneological information he had put together over the years.

Apparently, there was some degree of prominence since certain towns in Kentucky were named after forefathers. Ok, I know none of you give a hoot about any of this, but since I am bereft of weird news I am left to mock myself. I think it is only fitting that I have some sort of title since I am married to someone descended from such noteworthy folks. And need I remind you of my own status as an absentee landowner?

Let me know which one you think is most appropriate.

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Countess Lime the Ceaseless of Ofsted in the Bucket
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Ofstead in the Bucket? Does that mean I preside over unceremonious upchucking?

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Entirely Miss Reverend Lady Lime the

Sophisticated of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Bonus points to the first one who can correctly pronounce this. Remember, it must be said entirely reverently.

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Very Lady Lime the Intractable of Lesser Cheese Winston
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Why only Lesser Cheese Winston? What if I want Greater Cheese Winston? Who do I have to knock off to ascend to that title?

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Grand Duchess Lime the Philomath of Buzzing St Helens
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

The title had been Grand Duchess the Philomath of Erupting St. Helens but it's been at more of a dull roar recently.

My Fortune Cookie told me:
The whole world is a tuxedo and you are a pair of brown shoes (and a tie dyed shirt).
Get a cookie from Miss Fortune

It would seem you can give me a title but I still don't dress the part well.


Jim said...

Hmmm . . . I can think of a better title for you than those.


AndyT13 said...

None of them are good enough for you IMHO. I suggest The Entirely Miss Reverend Lady Lime, Duchess of all she surveys. Good pics of the kids. they all got your good looks evidently, especially the hot redhead. Woot! :-) I've had an uncommonly good attitude Lo These Many Days now. Call out the guard. Something is definitely amiss.

Hypersonic said...

I used to be able to say the Welsh one, but years of alcohol abuse and laziness now prevent me from doing so.

I always knew you were a bit of a queen.

Paul Champagne said...

Ahhhh ... the glory of holding a womans handbag whilst standing in front of a public rest room and trying to look cool ... not many of us can pull it off.

cathy said...

well on account of your disney escapade I would give you the title...
...The Right Honourable Lady Lime of the Likely Looking Latrine.

They gave me:-

Venerable Lady Catherine the Somnolent of Eschaton End

and my fortune cookie:)

Flee at once, all is discovered.

KK, I'm out of here!

MyUtopia said...

Great post as always. My husband has a very unique last name so if we ever ran into someone with the same last name we would almost definitely be related.

Diesel said...

I think mine was Lord Diesel the Implacable of Deep Throcking or something like that.

Anonymous said...

You own a piece of Australia for cripes sake!!

I like this one.
Very Lady Lime the Intractable of Lesser Cheese Winston

chikken said...

The world keeps getting smaller every day!

Um...I like the buzzing st helens one if I HAVE to choose one.


KFarmer said...

I don't know if it's the 15 beers I've drank (just kidding-; ) but that's the funniest stuff I've read in a long time. I can relate and laughed my ass off- appreciate it good budddy :)

And you know of course I'm going to have to see what's in store for me from yet another one of those "bloggy games".

Hugs, sweet and thanks :)

Mel said...

haha I like mine right off the bat..
Empress Melissa the Euphonious of Westley Waterless

and my fortune cookie read:
Tomorrow will be an excellent day for putting Slinkies on an escalator.

(I think that is a metaphor for another friggin fun day at work.. since I live in a town with no escalators.. seriously)

& from a fellow UTI sufferer, I feel your pain and chuckle in the wisdom that resulted.

Gawpo said...

Dude, go Google "Philomath Oregon." Home of the Philomath Roundup and Rodeo. Or something like that.

rose_michelle said...

I started tracing my lineage during my husband's deployment and found some rather interesting facts about both paternal and maternal side of my family. My favorite however, is that my maternal grandmother had paperwork documenting our line back to the second brother of an Spanish king ... thus I have recently taken the title of Spanish Princess, but you can call you Your Majesty!

And to think I wondered when I would use that knowledge in high school history!