Saturday, September 29, 2007

Total Ellipse of the Blog

If I were going to steal a meme from would be this one.

If I were a beginning, I would be….intriguing enough to make you want to continue.

If I were a month, I would be…a month of Sundays.

If I were a time of day, I would be…the last few moments before drifting off to sleep while being spooned.

If I were a planet, I would be…Pluto, kinda far out there and people would not be quite sure how to categorize me.

If I were a season, I would be…turkey season just because I'd get a kick out of making big, burly men go camouflaging themselves and gobbling in the woods trying to outwit a creature with a brain the size of a cashew.

If I were a sea animal, I would be….looking over my shoulder for Great White Sharks.

If I were a direction, I would be….slower, baby, more like a tickle. Mmmmmm, yeah, just like that.

If I were a piece of furniture, I would be…something gooshy and amorphous like my belly and thighs, perhaps a beanbag chair or a water bed.

If I were a sin, I would be…chocolate covered lust. Hhhmm, good name either for a rock band or a new candy, dontcha think?

If I were a liquid, I would be…melted chocolate covering your fingers and mouth.

If I were a scare, I would unintentional pregnancy. Wait, I was the product of a one night stand, no if about it. I got this covered for real.

If I were a gem, I would be…rough cut.

If I were a flower/plant, I would be…hoping that whoever was responsible for my care is better with plants than I am.

If I were a kind of weather, I would be….warm days and cool nights, good cuddle weather.

If I were a musical instrument, I would be...Bella

If I were an animal, I would be…nocturnal.

If I were an emotion, I would be….raw.

If I were a vegetable, I would be…hoping no heroic measures would be taken.

If I were a sound, I would be…a whisper.

If I were an element, I would be…mercurial.

If I were a car, I would be…an old Chrysler Imperial, kinda wide, not built for speed, but a nice backseat for making out on and for kids to bounce around on. Or maybe a VW camper bus, again, wide and not built for speed but kinda fun to tour around in, one with some psychedelic paint job.

If I were a song, I would be…easy to sing and fun to dance to.

If I were a food, I would if eaten fresh.

If I were a place, I would be…out of this world.

If I were a material, I would be…unbleached but high thread count cotton, all natural and common but surprisingly delightful to the touch. Hahahaha.

If I were a taste, I would be...acquired.

If I were a scent, I would be…earthy.

If I were a religion, I would be…peaceful.

If I were a sentence, I would be…25 to life.

If I were a facial expression, I would be…only one? You gotta be kidding. The smirk of death, perhaps.

If I were a subject in school, I would be…people watching.

If I were a colour, I would be...tie dye, duh!

If I were a thing, I would be…one of the Cat in the Hat's impish helpers.

If I were a book, I would be…personally inscribed, probably dog-eared (horrors!), possessing a cracked spine but one you kept coming back to over and over.

If I were an artist, I would be…covered in paint.

If I were a collection of poems, I would be…ribald, witty, and touching. not at all pretentious.

If I were a landmass, I would be…the Appalachians, looked down upon by those young supermodels, the Rockies, because I'm older and shorter and rounder, but I am so much more accessible and less likely to kill those who approach me. Show me just a little appreciation and I'll show you all sorts of lovely things.

If I were a watch, I would be…the night watch.

If I were God, I would be…blamed for what people do with the free will I gave them.

If I were a vowel, I would be...a big OOOOOOOOOOOO......

If I were a consonant, I would be…a sibilant or possibly a labio-dental fricative.

If I were a theory, I would be…relative or conspiratorial.

If I were a famous person, I would be…wondering why.

If I were an item of electronic equipment, I would be…an 8 track player, hopelessly out of date but my devotees are insanely loyal.

If I were a sport, I would be…bocce, slow pace and lots of rolling around in the grass.

If I were a movie, I would be…something that makes you think while you laugh like crazy.

If I were a cartoon, I would be...George of the Jungle.

If I were an explorer, I would be…a car I wouldn't want to buy because I have no need for a gas guzzling SUV.

If I were a scientist, I would be….mad and digging the latitude I'd be given for having wild hair.

If I were a relation, I would be…your oddball Aunt.

If I were a river, I would be…running through it.

If I were intoxication, I would be…dizzying without the hangover.

If I were alone, I would be…sitting here filling out this meme. Oh , yeah, I am, whaddya know?

If I were a question, I would be…open ended.

If I were a habit, I would be…the one Sally Field wore when she was flying.

If I were in an atom, I would be…quarky.

If I were you, I would be…glad this is over.


Raymond said...

Praze be mister pride. For I slept on hay last nite!~

TLP said...

Brava! You do the most wonderful memes!

Rabbit rabbit Lime.

Grumpy said...

Very clever, I enjoyed that.


G-Man said...

Don't get me started.

Watch Out For That Tree!!

Have a great day Sister Bertrelle..xoxox
(the flying nun)

Beach Bum said...

This was great; every meme was fantastic and unpredictable. Especially liked the one "If I were a season..." because it hit home for me on several levels.

S said...

Ok Im so loving the chance to peek at that picture again!

Something tells me hunting is big around your parts, and that you've seen more than your share of big burly goofy turkey hunters!

Anonymous said...

No one does a meme like you (and I mean that in a good way). Funny and insightful, clever and yet deep.

And that is a great image. Love the hair action.

Jeni said...

That was, by far, the best MEME I've ever seen! (No, poetry is not my theme though on your MEME I was very keen.) Loved every one of your responses and some, I even felt,hey, that's me too -especially the planet! 'Cept I'd be one out there, just a tad larger for it to really be me since I'm well, that way, ya know -a little larger than I should be but not larger than life. You really out to find a way -avenue -to publish that MEME cause it was, seriously, that good.

Crabby said...

chocolate covered lust. Stopped me cold with that one. LOL!

That's a great pic up there. Worthy of framing.

david mcmahon said...

What a great collection. Yes, I think George of the Jungle is a star as well.

snowelf said...

Hey Lime!

I don't know which one of your answers made me laugh hardest...
I really liked the Bocce Ball one!!
And the Planet one too!

I'm totally stealing this for my saturday meme! ;)


Keyser Soze said...

I love that friggin guitar so Effing Much! You too while I'm at it! I'm kinda partial to this meme as well. YOINK!

Charles said...

I'll bet you got a lot of laughs in high school.

Cooper said...

That rocked...and being the selfish person I am...i wanted about if I melt this Godiva dark chocolate as an enticement....

cindra said...

Beautiful! You are sexy witty poetic and wonderful.Will you marry me? Well, I know we can't really, but this made me want to propose to you.

lime said...

raymond, well ok then

tlp, rabbit rabbit!

grumpy, is that a smile on a grumpy face that i see?

gman, aaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaiiiiieeeeee

beach bum, familiar with the rednecks are you?

s, oh yeah, mr lime and two of the limelets are among them

witnessing, thank you very much on all counts

jeni, yer making me blush!

crabby, glad you enjoyed

david, he's so me!

snowelf, i can't wait to see what you do with it

keyzer, so ya gonna steal? the mem, not the guitar

charles, upon occasion

cooper, gimme the chocolate and i will tell you anything

cindra, will you be the groom or the bride? or can we both wear pants?

James Goodman-Horror Writer said...

That was a great meme, Lime. Thanks for sharing. :D

M said...

Witty Woman...made me smile (-: thanks.
i loved your answer to if i were a book!

snavy said...

That was simply awesome!

barman said...

As always I love your answers. Nothing expected, actually just the opposite. I love my oddball Aunt Lime. I love your twists, it makes everything so fun.


tsduff said...

I like your landmass. Smart answer about the vegetable :) You are great.

BTExpress said...

I loved your answers. I'd have disappointed if you hadn't selected the VW bus.

Spider Girl said...

I came over here from Jocelyn's blog after reading her meme.

I love both of your answering styles.

Jocelyn said...

Labio-dental fricative.

You and I *are* psychic sisters.

Dorky Dad said...

George of the Jungle? My gosh, I haven't thought about that cartoon in YEARS.

Anonymous said...

wow that's quite a list, I love your very creative answers as usual.:)

Shari said...

LOL. I like the way you think. Is there a Entertainer award out there? You should get that one.

lime said...

james, thanks very much, and i am digging your new ID there ;)

m, glad to give you a grin

snavy, then i will simply say thanks

barman, the good thing is i don;t pinch cheeks, unless ya want me to

tsduff, i do love the appalachians

btexrpess, ooooh magic bus!

spider, thanks for the visit, you are welcome any time

jocelyn, mosssssst deffffffffffinitely!

dorky dad, i loved it and since i have this propensity for falling out of treehouses it seemd right

top cat, thanks friend:)

shari, LOL, you can make one if youwant.

MONA said...

LIME! what a wonderful meme!

Just as ONLY YOU can do that!..I love it & I super love that picture!

...& I thought it was going to be agony Aunt...:)

Lacquer, Semi-Gloss Lacquer said...

...astounding shot with guitar...