If I were going to steal a meme from Jocelyn...it would be this one.
If I were a beginning, I would be….intriguing enough to make you want to continue.
If I were a month, I would be…a month of Sundays.
If I were a time of day, I would be…the last few moments before drifting off to sleep while being spooned.
If I were a planet, I would be…Pluto, kinda far out there and people would not be quite sure how to categorize me.
If I were a season, I would be…turkey season just because I'd get a kick out of making big, burly men go camouflaging themselves and gobbling in the woods trying to outwit a creature with a brain the size of a cashew.
If I were a sea animal, I would be….looking over my shoulder for Great White Sharks.
If I were a direction, I would be….slower, baby, more like a tickle. Mmmmmm, yeah, just like that.
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be…something gooshy and amorphous like my belly and thighs, perhaps a beanbag chair or a water bed.
If I were a sin, I would be…chocolate covered lust. Hhhmm, good name either for a rock band or a new candy, dontcha think?
If I were a liquid, I would be…melted chocolate covering your fingers and mouth.
If I were a scare, I would be...an unintentional pregnancy. Wait, I was the product of a one night stand, no if about it. I got this covered for real.
If I were a gem, I would be…rough cut.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be…hoping that whoever was responsible for my care is better with plants than I am.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be….warm days and cool nights, good cuddle weather.
If I were a musical instrument, I would be...Bella
If I were an animal, I would be…nocturnal.
If I were an emotion, I would be….raw.
If I were a vegetable, I would be…hoping no heroic measures would be taken.
If I were a sound, I would be…a whisper.
If I were an element, I would be…mercurial.
If I were a car, I would be…an old Chrysler Imperial, kinda wide, not built for speed, but a nice backseat for making out on and for kids to bounce around on. Or maybe a VW camper bus, again, wide and not built for speed but kinda fun to tour around in, one with some psychedelic paint job.
If I were a song, I would be…easy to sing and fun to dance to.
If I were a food, I would be...best if eaten fresh.
If I were a place, I would be…out of this world.
If I were a material, I would be…unbleached but high thread count cotton, all natural and common but surprisingly delightful to the touch. Hahahaha.
If I were a taste, I would be...acquired.
If I were a scent, I would be…earthy.
If I were a religion, I would be…peaceful.
If I were a sentence, I would be…25 to life.
If I were a facial expression, I would be…only one? You gotta be kidding. The smirk of death, perhaps.
If I were a subject in school, I would be…people watching.
If I were a colour, I would be...tie dye, duh!
If I were a thing, I would be…one of the Cat in the Hat's impish helpers.
If I were a book, I would be…personally inscribed, probably dog-eared (horrors!), possessing a cracked spine but one you kept coming back to over and over.
If I were an artist, I would be…covered in paint.
If I were a collection of poems, I would be…ribald, witty, and touching. not at all pretentious.
If I were a landmass, I would be…the Appalachians, looked down upon by those young supermodels, the Rockies, because I'm older and shorter and rounder, but I am so much more accessible and less likely to kill those who approach me. Show me just a little appreciation and I'll show you all sorts of lovely things.
If I were a watch, I would be…the night watch.
If I were God, I would be…blamed for what people do with the free will I gave them.
If I were a vowel, I would be...a big OOOOOOOOOOOO......
If I were a consonant, I would be…a sibilant or possibly a labio-dental fricative.
If I were a theory, I would be…relative or conspiratorial.
If I were a famous person, I would be…wondering why.
If I were an item of electronic equipment, I would be…an 8 track player, hopelessly out of date but my devotees are insanely loyal.
If I were a sport, I would be…bocce, slow pace and lots of rolling around in the grass.
If I were a movie, I would be…something that makes you think while you laugh like crazy.
If I were a cartoon, I would be...George of the Jungle.
If I were an explorer, I would be…a car I wouldn't want to buy because I have no need for a gas guzzling SUV.
If I were a scientist, I would be….mad and digging the latitude I'd be given for having wild hair.
If I were a relation, I would be…your oddball Aunt.
If I were a river, I would be…running through it.
If I were intoxication, I would be…dizzying without the hangover.
If I were alone, I would be…sitting here filling out this meme. Oh , yeah, I am, whaddya know?
If I were a question, I would be…open ended.
If I were a habit, I would be…the one Sally Field wore when she was flying.
If I were in an atom, I would be…quarky.
If I were you, I would be…glad this is over.