Monday, June 02, 2008

Grownup Meme

Meant to be completed by those out of high school) Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids? 'Have you ever kissed someone?' 'Missed someone?' 'Told someone you loved them?' 'Drank alcohol?' Here are 50 questions for the people who are a little more "mature"...


1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Credit card. I hate that they get used and that balances carry over.


2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Ok wait, let me regain composure....


3. Last time you puked from drinking?
I thought you said these questions would be more mature...


4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
Honey, I don't need a drop of alcohol to be willing to dance on a bar.


5. Name of your first grade teacher?
Senora Zorro (It just sounds more fun to say Mrs. Fox in Spanish..Sorry I don't know how to type a tilde and have it hover over the n...Yes, it will bother me that I have Senora without a tilde. I could have called her Madame Renard but that sounds less impressive than Zorro. So it's a tilde-less name even though my linguistic OCD will be kicked in all day now.)


6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Riding a lover and crying out his name in the throes of passion. What? I thought we were grownups here.


7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
Oh, I get it, you think if you change the verb tense it makes it more age appropriate to ask this....


8. How many colleges did you attend?
For credits or just for causing mayhem?


9. What made you decide to wear the shirt you have on right now?
You're assuming I am wearing a shirt.


10. GAS PRICES?
Don't even start me on my conspiracy theories, though I have to say...did you know gasoline has hit $10 a gallon in Uganda?


11. Where would you move if you could live anywhere?
Someplace close to both water and mountains, has a temperature range of 70-80, low humidity, beautiful scenery, and no earthquakes


12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Make it STOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
Well, I was busy calculating pi to the 47,523rd decimal. You're yawning just thinking about that aren't you? See! It works!


14. Favorite style of underwear?
Clean, not granny, not butt floss.


15. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?
Silk boxers, baby....mmmmmmmm


16. What errand/chore do you despise?
Dusting is just beyond pointless


17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
Gee, doesn't being an at home mom qualify in either of those categories?


18. Get up early or sleep in?
Hahahahahahaha, do you really have to ask?


19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
Bugs Bunny rules but Spongebob has grown on me.


22. When did you first start feeling old?
The first time I went to a doctor who was quite obviously younger than me.


24. Your favorite lunch meat?
Soylent Green


27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
This is where I split semantic hairs. The wedding is the ritual. Marriage is the state of existence after the wedding ritual.


29. Favorite guilty pleasure?
Why should pleasure cause guilt?


31. What's your favorite alcoholic drink?
Cider for whenever, Veuve Clicquot for special.


32. Cowboys or Indians?
How about I dress up like the nubile young Indian maiden and you dress up like the tough but tender cowboy?


33. Cops or Robbers?
Fuck the robbers, been there, done that, had the PTSD to go with it.


34. Who from high school would you like to run into?
You mean with my car?


35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
That's the thing I listen to when my iPod battery needs recharging right?


36. Movies or Documentaries?
Yes, thanks. Let's hit the matinee. It's cheaper then.


37. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?
Meh, neither...Antiques Roadshow, Mythbusters, Dirty Jobs.


38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Pleading the 5th


39. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
I am Mistress of my Domain, no one sits across from me.


41. What famous person(s) would you like to have dinner with?
Who's paying?


42. What famous person would you like to sleep with?
Do you mean as in curl up and begin snoring or do you mean have sex with? Because if this meme is for grownups I think we ought to be able to call it whatever it really would be.


43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
I have indeed. May I just say that dry chemicals rapidly exiting an extinguisher then mixed with burning bacon grease creates a fascinating dispersal pattern in a tiny galley kitchen.


44. Last book you read for real?
Well, let's see...I only pretend I read War and Peace so I guess that would be Sue Bender's Plain and Simple: One Woman's Journey to the Amish


46. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
Well given that I can't take my teeth out and brush them somewhere other than in my mouth I really can't think of any.


49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
Why must I choose between them. If I am a grown up don't I get the right to say 'both?'


50. Just how OLD are you?
Older than my tits and my teeth.

24 comments:

G-Man said...

Limey...?

G-Man said...

#6...?..hehehe
#9...BOIIIIIING!
#51..YAHTZEE!!!

S said...

Now that was long! :P

Happy Monday, Lime!

Kathryn said...

These made me laugh out loud. Loved #34.

furiousBall said...

credit cards are the devil

ciara said...

very funny...love the sarcastic humor :)

Suldog said...

"Just how OLD are you?
Older than my tits and my teeth."

Have I ever told you that I love you? If I have, I apologize to your hubby, but you deserved it. If I haven't, consider this the first.

lecram said...

You're not wearing a shirt?!!

... and... Soylent Green rules!

coopernicus said...

Oh boy...the trouble I could get into with this one...

Mona said...

I am cracking up... like the earth under earthquake, & there is one river near by, but no mountains...

These are such funny witty cryptic cynical retorts !

An Adult Meme? Now that is such a dream....I would seriously consider #6 then...
My family ( siblings & their spices... er.. spouses) descending upon my blog,reading it one by one ,is really causing me serious problems with (in)decent adult expression. :D. As a result my recent love poems are rotting in hidden files... :(

Ps> which Indian maiden would you dress up as?.... there are to types...

Pleading the 5th amendment? Ha ha... I am forced into it these days, by by circumstantial circumcision of my head to turn holy by familial intrusion! ( Halp!)

AH! Marriage as an outdated ritual... I could write a looooong article on that one ( Who would want a guest post on their blog? ( Family Family( groan)))

Today is Charles' birthday. I am not posting any birthday post though.. The circle has come to a completion I guess. I started by posting the first one on his birthday last year...

VE said...

What exactly is that 47,523rd decimal? I'm gonna guess a 3...

Phain said...

#24 made me snort granola bits through my nose from laughing so suddenly. don't do that!

mary said...

hm. thinking of pi before going to sleep?
sounds like a cover story for some really racy thoughts you couldn't post on a PG blog (-;

SignGurl said...

You made me snort, as usual!

Maddy said...

A 50 question meme! I am impressed.
Cheers

airplanejayne said...

SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!!!!

I just love that movie....

and I love this meme, so I'm gonna steal it, 'kay?

now, put your shirt on!

:)

Seamus said...

#50 - BRILLIANT!!!

Dorky Dad said...

I think you should dance on a table and then film the proceedings.

Jocelyn said...

Oh, I have PLAIN AND SIMPLE on my shelf!

I was waiting for you to reveal you don't wear underwear...

Mother Theresa said...

Hilarious! I'm glad you didn't tag anyone, because there can't be any better answers than those, and #50 is the best of them all. :D

Mother Theresa said...

I just read your robbery story. That would have scared the shit out of me. I'm glad you all came out okay.

James Goodman, Author said...

lol, those were great answers, Lime. :D

RennyBA said...

Okay, just for you then: I'll wear Silk boxers in the sauna :lol:

Moosekahl said...

You really do need an escape!

The answer to #11 is in Fairbanks. We could be roomies :)