Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Tired

It's been a long damn school year. It's almost over. All three of the kids have had a rough time for one reason or another. Sometimes one will, this is the first time all three of them have. They are tired. I am tired. I've tried to be understanding. I've tried to make home the refuge it should be. I get surliness in return.

Part of me is looking forward to summer vacation so I don't have to drag my butt out of bed at 5:30 am every day for a while and then wrangle three kids at that hour. Part of me is dreading it because Mr. Lime plans to be gone for 6 weeks this summer. Last summer there was no time that we all reconnected as a family. Things aren't looking good for this summer to be one of family time with plans like that. The plans I've been trying to make for the kids and me are being met with resistance.

The last two days have been full of conflict. I'm tired of being around people who are either miserable, nasty, or who regard me as nothing but a personal servant. I let them know. Then I drove around for a while until I found somewhere quiet.








Mr. and Mrs. Hughes didn't bitch at me, or say hurtful things, or demand anything of me. They let me sit under their nice, shady maple while I watched the sunset in peace. Mr. Hughes' flag was all knocked over so I fixed it. I figured it was the least a WWI veteran deserved since he was nice enough to let me visit in peace. I admired their geraniums that someone actually took time to plant. Nice to see someone cares enough to visit and keep the place nice. It was nice to make the acquaintance of Mr. and Mrs. Hughes. I might go back sometime.

36 comments:

Phain said...

BINGO!

Phain said...

I play by my own rules! Hahaa :) going back to read...

david mcmahon said...

You are brilliant.

Phain said...

once my kids hit school age it seemed like life suddenly shifted into overdrive with no way to slow things down. it becomes this overwhelming cycle of school and daycare and church and gymnastics and trips to grandmas house and visits 1/2 way across the US to see their dad... Oh and let's throw in a 40+ hour work week for the (then) single mom. So I totally feel your pain on the business of life with very little, if any at all, appreciation for all that we do as The Momma. we sometimes gave to settle for patting ourself on the back because we DID make home that refuge and reward ourselves with those interludes with The Hughes when we can.

James Goodman, Author said...

Sorry to hear your life is full of strife right now. Hopefully, it will smooth out once the summer vacation gets into full swing.

mary said...

The kids will appreciate you later when they have kids. One day when they are struggling with their own kids, it will hit them like a ton of bricks. Hopefully, they will pick up the phone and say: sorry, ma!
Now Mr Lime. I don't know about that. He is a grown up. He should already appreciate you without having to have a ton of bricks fall on his head.

Flash said...

Aww, that was really nice.

I look back, and I know I've said sorry to my mom for what I used to put her through. Hopefully they will soon realize how good they have it with you as a mom.

Sheri said...

I hope things even out for you this summer. Being all stressed and go, go, go just sucks the life out of you. blech

I go to cemetaries all the time. The one I frequent to has these beautiful, huge oak, maple and beechwood trees. The grass is lush, the sites are beatifully cared for and I wander around and read the stones and just relax. Sometimes we have a picnic lunch there with my grandparents, who are buried beneath a huge tree. Sometimes, I carry around the watering can and water flowers on other graves and dead head them too. sigh.... peaceful....

Jeni said...

This past Sunday was one of those days when both the two little grandkids here had been drinking something that must have been overloaded with obnoxious pills cause both of 'em were total crabbiness almost the whole day. If one wasn't sulking, then having a meltdown, the other one was crying his little lungs out! When my son happened to come down about 8:30 p.m., my daughter and I decided to leave the noisy pack in the dust and go up to my son's house and share a couple of draft brews with him and relax a bit.

furiousBall said...

you'll be ok chica. my advice, a margarita outside somewhere soon

G-Man said...

La Chat qui a Bingo!!

This post made me sniffle a bit Michelle..xoxlimeyxox

lecram said...

Mr. Hughes has a nice headstone too. Yeah, cemeteries were once my place for solace as well.

Hope things even out soon around Casa Lime.

EmBee said...

It really IS exhausting isn't it? I think I'm just gonna collapse on my couch after spending my morning with a surly 18 yr. old.

citizen of the world said...

When I was a kid I used to go talk to the cows for the same reason - they always listened very patiently. Wish I had cows now that I have a teen.

ciara said...

what is it about kids and the end of school year? i've been getting lots more attitude from my girls, steve's been getting lot more from his son...we are going on a family vacation on sat (kids get out fri) and i hope i'm not put into a grumpy mood during the vacay. i hate attitudes and arguments : /

hopefully everything will work itself out & peace restored xo

S said...

Gone for six weeks? I would think that could be a good thing. Have him take the kids with him.

That is the entire summer, Lime....wtf is that man up to?

So like you, to end up caring for the Hughes when all ya needed was a nice place to rest. Hope things are looking up, miss.

Liquid said...

Good choice Lime!

Craver Vii said...

What's the deal?! I have to echo that sentiment. How come home isn't the refuge it ought to be? Sometimes children are exemplary "out there," but they want to kill each other when they're at home.

Well, I hope you are still able to communicate with your husband via email or phone, and that your conversations are filled with joy and anticipation for a sweet reunion.

Stay positive, but if all else fails, I'm sure the Hughes' don't mind the visits. While you're there, look up. There is someone else who will lend His ear.

Mona said...

(((LIME)))

I wish I had your phone number.... I would have called & talked to you NOW!...

Hypersonic said...

I wish I had a Mr and Mrs Huges to go visit. *sigh*

Kathryn said...

Whenever the hubby and I get frustrated, annoyed, angry, and bitchy we walk a block to the local cemetary. It does wonders for our mood. It really makes us refocus. We walk through the cemetary (my sis is buried there) with the rambunctious boys, water flowers, and climb trees. At when we spot graves of young children we look at each other and remember how good we have it.

A perfect spot to recharge. Good thinking!
Hang in there mama!

coopernicus said...

We all need our places to go...places to escape. The cemetery is certainly a peaceful one....

Sorry for the struggles...

BTExpress said...

Maybe it's time for laying down the law and start using some tough love. Stop doing certain things for everyone that they are very capable of doing themselves. Things like picking up after them and doing their laundry if they don't put it in the hamper. I did that and it worked. Then when me son was old enough to do his own laundry, I stopped doing his altogether. It wasn't long before he ran out of clothes and did it himself. I will toss in some of his stuff to fill a load, but it has to be in the basement near the washing machine.

Rob said...

I suppose you realize Michelle that you will be undergoing a remarkable transformation as your children go from adolesence to young adulthood to full-fledged, procreating parents themselves. You will inexplicably become smarter, kinder, wiser, and more selfless and loving than you ever were while your children were growing up. They will be amazed, particularly considering the low point in all of those areas from which you will be rising in their esteem. Scientists and sociologists have never been able to explain it. No one has. It just happens from generation to generation without fail. So, get ready to be truly appreciated and admired for all that you know and all that you do. You just have to be patient until "you" change!

In the meantime, you might try what MY mom would have done and smack the hell out of them when they act that way. Oh, I would have still been surly and disrespectful -- but SHE would have felt a LOT better! :-D

Of course knowing that you are a gentle and kind person, I suppose that's not a practical solution for you. Have you considered setting up a backyard still and "self-medicating" until they're all out of their teens??!

(Unfortunately, Mr. Lime won't outgrow whatever HIS problem seems to be! You may have to try my mom's solution on him!!!)

Hang in there, my friend. Hopefully things will be better once all of the stress of end-of-school activities has passed and you can all relax a bit and enjoy a beautiful Pennsylvania summer. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers until then...

RennyBA said...

Wish I could chase your worries away, but I guess just saying hello may help :-)

SignGurl said...

You and I are living similar lives right now. Maybe the two of us should pack up and meet somewhere sans children.

airplanejayne said...

cemeteries kinda scare me....

so when I need that solitude, I ride around the ranchette on my yard-tractor...

Neighbors know to leave me be if I'm spinning donuts out in the back forty....

come on over, Lime, I'll let you take it for a spin. It does wonders!

Moosekahl said...

Something about the fact that you had to go to a grave site to find peace and quiet is morbidly sad.

KFarmer said...

I don't care how old children get, sometimes they are just a pain in the ass. I asked my son yesterday when I was going to see him again and he said the end of June. I told him I couldnt' wait that long so would he mind sending me a dirty shirt so at least I could smell him. He laughed and said he would see what he could do...

I love walking through grave yards but as I live so far away from any, my garden is my quiet spot. I'm down there quite often~ alone :)

Lavinia Ladyslipper said...

Oh dear, been there and done that!

San said...

A nice respite from a "grave" situation--that of being underappreciated and bossed around. Bless your heart. I hope that expressing your feelings lightened them a bit.

And thanks for your ever-so-sweet words about me over at David's place. A boost to my own tired spirit.

Hilary said...

How clever of you. I hope it helped somewhat.

imbeingheldhostage said...

I'm feeling your pain. Our school doesn't get out until mid July, and then I only have full-time surliness to look forward to. I love your choice of refuge though!
And, David sent me.

Momma said...

I would never have thought of visiting someone's grave to get some peace and quiet. It's an interesting idea, and I'll bet you were bothered by rowdy kids there.

Peace - D

barman said...

I feel what you are going through. I know when I was growing up my parents (read mostly my Mom) did a lot for me. It was not until I moved out that I fully appreciated all that did for me.

I like Susies idea, have Mr Lime take the kids. Just think how quiet the summer would be. But then you would get lonely after a while. But then again...

I hope your summer goes well despite being a single parent for so long. I also hope you can find a way to get free from time to time so you can recharge your batteries. You are important too and don't you forget it.

seventh sister said...

This time of the school year is awful..for the kids, the teachers and anyone who lives with them. Just hang in there, it's almost over.

You could always come and visit Austin for the summer. There are tie tye hippy gatherings all the time. Of course,we wear tie dye in the summer because it doesn't show sweat and sweat stains very much. When it is over 100 degrees for weeks at a time that is a big plus.