Diana's blood cocoa levels had dropped precipitously so she felt the need to rectify the situation immediately. She decided to make brownies at the exact time I was preparing to make dinner. I suggested she make herself useful in the kitchen by expediting dinner's preparation. She insisted on dessert prep. She came to me with some new brownie recipe I had never seen. By now I was feeling weak from the lack of chocolate myself so I told her to get my recipe for saucepan brownies instead because it's easier and a guaranteed winner.
She got the recipe and started to gather ingredients and many bowls. I reminded her the title of the recipe was SAUCEPAN brownies, ergo no need for bowls, only a saucepan. She began to rant about the stupidity of making brownies in a saucepan as she reached for my 12 inch skillet.
"No dear, you need a saaaaauuuucepaaaaaan." I reminded her as I made gestures indicating size and shape of said implement.
"I don't even know what a saucepan is!" she retorted.
"You might if you ever helped make something useful like dinner." I countered.
I described a saucepan and directed her to the correct cupboard as she first waved a smaller frying pan, then a stock pot. Finally, as I continued coaching her in the identification and selection of an actual saucepan, she grabbed the right one and began banging it on the edge of the kitchen table as she shouted, "This is what you sound like right now....bang bang bang..... and I can't take it anymore.....crash crash crash...... I don't even want to make brownies at all anymore because you are making me crazy....bang crash bang...I just wanted to make brownies not have a lesson on the name of every stupid pot in the kitchen!...clang clang clang"
Now dear reader, it is important to note she was not banging the pot in complete anger. She just hates to be instructed and can't stand being wrong. The absurdity of the conversation and her reaction was actually making me laugh too. So it was at this point when I grabbed a small enamel pot and its lid and began clanging them together in time with her own saucepan banging. Over her own high decibel protests I added my own loud declaration of her ridiculous reaction to simple directives, "No one is being louder than you are....bang bang bang....Do you realize how ridiculous this is.....crash crash crash....this is how you sound all because you hate to be wrong...bang crash bang...See now I can be loud like you!...clang clang clang"
Amidst the insanity of the shouting and the clanging banging of pots and pans interspersed with a few giggles a figure appeared in the kitchen doorway. It was Isaac clad only in his jock strap and baseball socks. He stood akimbo and demanded, "What is going on in here?!" The kitchen fell silent just before he turned to depart and mooned us. After a moment of reflection Diana and I dissolved into a fit of giggles.