Monday, August 25, 2008

Meme

I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 5 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments, what is it?
Produce: Rotten tomatoes to throw at people
Frozen: Pizza so I can practice for the discus in the 2012 Olympics
Meat: I'll stand at the counter and shout, "Where's the beef?!"
Dairy: Curdled mare's milk
Canned goods: Anchovy paste


Let's say we're heading out for a weekend getaway.
You're only allowed to bring 3 articles of clothing with you. So, what's in your bag?
Top hat
Hiking boots
Body stocking



If I was to listen in on one of your conversations throughout the day, what 4 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear?
"Bring me the head of (fill in the blank) on a platter!"
"I have no specific recollection of that event."
"Ask not what your mother can do for you. Ask what you can do for your mother."
"Not now, I'm watching reality TV."

So, what 4 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn't get to do, you probably wouldn't be in the best mood?
Plotting my overthrow of Lichtenstein

Ordering around my minions

Being attended to by my staff of male servants

Eating chocolate


You're driving down the road, and suddenly you're hit with this sense of road rage. What 3 factors probably contributed to it?
The moon came out and I turned into a werewolf

The suggestion the hypnotist planted in my head was triggered

The top secret memory chip the government put in my brain was activated


Sweet, you just scored a whole afternoon to yourself. We're talking a 3 hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing?
Successfully negotiating peace in the Middle East

Curing cancer

Eliminating world hunger

Capturing Osama bin Laden

Learning to program my VCR now that we almost never use it


We're going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it'll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?
Naked pygmy mole rats

Platypus

Aardvark


You just scored tickets to the taping of any show that comes on t.v. of your choice. You can pick 4, so what are you going to see?
Jerry Springer

The local cable tv program with a couple 70 year olds speaking in Pennsylvania German

The All About Me Show (Wait, I guess it's called The Tyra Banks Show....seriously she has a unique interviewing skill where she can turn any question around to talk about herself. It's amazing.)

Ultraman reruns

You're hungry for ice cream. I'll give you a triple dipper ice cream cone. What 3 flavors can I pile on for ya?
Sardine

Sauerkraut

Liver


Somebody stole your purse/wallet…in order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what's in there?
A 2 Boliviano coin

Ticket stubs to a soccer game in Cochabamba, Bolivia

A Trinidadian 10 cent piece

A note from Calypso when she was 5

The winning Powerball ticket


You are at a job fair, and asked in what areas you are interested in pursuing a career. Let's pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever you wanted, so what 4 careers would be fun for you?
Laundress for a nursing home (I really miss the days of sorting out dozens of urine soaked and feces-stained bedsheets)

Performing rectumectomies on cattle after they've been slaughtered

Leader of Lichtenstein

Self Appointed Dictator for Life



If you could go back and talk to the old you, when you were in high school, and inform yourself of 4 things, what would you say?

Avoid the pudding in the cafeteria

Give up on trig now. You'll never need it when you are running Lichtenstein

Wear your hair down for senior pictures so you don't have to listen to your mother complain.

Wear the gigantic sunglasses ON stage to collect your diploma not just as you proceed into the stadium


28 comments:

James Goodman said...

lol, I always love the twists you put to your answers in these things, Lime. :D

furiousBall said...

bodystocking... oh that is my kryptonite

Cocotte said...

The scary thing is, I really do say a few of those phrases in my everyday conversations....

lime said...

james, thanks ;)

furiousball, trust me, seeing me in a bodystocking would not have the same effect.

cocotte, that IS a bit scary

Cosima said...

May I join you in your Liechtenstein revolution, Lime? They mostly do banking for people who don't want to pay taxes elsewhere, always a lucrative business. I could be your finance secretary. And we could hike in the Alps in body stockings :D

S said...

I seriously love your outfit, Lime!

Can we talk about reproducing it for my shop?
:P

Suldog said...

You, my dear, are a very funny woman.

Oh, wait. You weren't trying to be funny? Even better. Marry me!

Oh, wait. I'm already married. And I love her, too. Hmmmmmm. I wonder if there are any polygamy sects taking applications. You're just too good to pass up. I'll get back to you.

barman said...

Lichtenstein would be in good hands.

Boy the zoo question ... do you watch the disney channel? Sadly I have and the answers so remind me of several of their shows.

You know, I pretty much avoid Springer but I bet that would be an interesting show to see in person. Did these people resally expect anything good to come from appearing on his show?

And the all about me show? I am afraid that is the way I answer blog comments ... sorry.

Now I need to remember, never, ever eat ice cream over at Limes house, NEVER!

Mona said...

LOL! I love the things you would buy at the departmental store! & also the reasons for buying them!

Also the reasons for your road rage!

tyra banks show! :D

Yikes! Rectumectomies on cattle!!

Did you really walk in with those glasses? :D do you have a picture ?

lime said...

cosima, i like the way you think. you're hired!

s, only if we can add a mariachi jacket to the ensemble

suldog, it so happens i am married too but if we can find a sect that allows for both polygamy AND polyandry we might be able to work it out. oh, plus that bit about convincing our current spouses it's a good idea.

barman, i just bough ice cream today, in much more appetizing flavors

mona, i really did walk into the stadium wearing the glasses. it was a form of protest. but i didn't wear them up on the podium. after the ceremony my dad had said he'd have given me $50 if i wore them on the podium. sadly no photographic evidence exists.

Breazy said...

I always love reading a meme you have done, no meme is ever the same!

RiverPoet said...

Your meme answers are always so creative and twisted. Love them!

Peace - D

Maddy said...

You always have the best ones, dontcha!

Kathryn said...

I swear you have the BEST memes. No one else even comes close. I am wiping the tears away. hehehe!

lime said...

breazy, riverpoet, maddy, kathryn: then my evil plan is coming to fruition. thank you *throws head back and cackles

Craver Vii said...

You've been to Cochabamba? My wife has family there.

NYD said...

I'm moving to Lichtenstein.

(M)ary said...

Top hat
Hiking boots
Body stocking

sounds like you are on your way to a costume party dresssed as Cat in the Hat on a hike.

G-Man said...

You forgot canned peas.....

Or maybe thats MY hang-up?

Have a Great Week Limey..xox

lime said...

craver, yep i was in bolivia in 2000. loved cochabamba

nyd, you'd be most welcome

mary, LOL, you're right!

gman, oh yeah, my other favorite flavor!

Beach Bum said...

I really loved Ultraman when I was a kid. My friends and I could be found in the backyard each with our own Beta Capsule saving the Earth from monsters.

coopernicus said...

oh my...the gauntlet has been heaved...

SignGurl said...

How does the beautiful brain come up with this stuff?

Moosekahl said...

I'm going to sit back with my pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream that room service just delivered and savor this one a bit. I love a good laugh before bed.

KFarmer said...

Ultraman? You are the BEST! :)

lime said...

beach bum, so you were one of the ones who actually watched it, huh?

cooper, your response left me gasping for breath

signgurl, i'm kinda twisted

moose, oh man, i was looking for mint chip today and the store was out!

kfarmer, thankee ma'am

citizen of the world said...

Wow, you were in an odd place when you answered this meme! Funny stuff.

airplanejayne said...

wow....I thought we had EVERYTHING in common....soulsistahs, etc.

and then I saw your zoo and ice cream choices.

ewwww....

luv ya, but ewwww....

:P