Tuesday, September 09, 2008

You Might Think...

...spending 6 weeks in New Orleans' lower 9th ward working among people who have lost everything and who are still fighting for some pretty basic things 3 years later would create a deep sense of gratitude for what one has and less of a sense of entitlement. You might think that, but you'd be wrong. You might think someone who spent that kind of time doing that kind of work would come back more inclined to make requests rather than demands. You'd be wrong. You might even think said individual would return home and perhaps be more encouraging toward her sister when her sister exhibits personal growth. You'd be wrong.

You might think when this 17 year old girl comes back and complains bitterly about small inconveniences, demands immediate gratification, snaps at anyone who does not capitulate, berates the sister who has gone out of her way to be welcoming, and dares to suggest it is everyone else's fault when she is called to account for her bad attitude that the mother would want to backhand her into next week. You'd be right.

32 comments:

Cocotte said...

Ahh, youth. That magical time when the world revolves around you. Wish I could go back....

Ella said...

so this is what i have to look forward to in the future? maybe i can just click my heels three times and skip over all those years of teenaged angst. *sigh*

Sheri said...

oh God help me. Mine is like this at 10..... wtf am I in for at 17?? arrrrrrggggg!!!!!!

furiousBall said...

i really wish i could do my teens over again, i wasn't the most selfish, but i feel like i cheated myself out of a lot

Craver Vii said...

Then I will pray for you today, that you have an extra measure of grace and wisdom.

And when you think of it, I wouldn't mind if you asked the same for me. :-)

G-Man said...

They DO mature...eventually!

Sorry sweetie...G

Desmond Jones said...

Ugh!

Just keep telling yourself: they won't be teens forever; they won't be teens forever; they won't be teens forever. . . Ommmmmmm. . .

A friend of mine likes to say that grandchildren are your reward for not killing your teenagers. I used to think he was joking. . .

S said...

Cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.....


It'll be over before you know it.
Go ahead and backhand her, she'll survive.

You know, I just realized that I had the same setup as your kids. Two sisters, then the boy. I was in the middle. My sister was super mean to me and twice my weight. Once she even knocked my out cold my sitting on my chest so hard I passed out!

Now, I just love my older sister and she doesnt try to beat me up anymore, and I have my own house, I dont have to share a closet, a room, a bathroom or a car with her anymore! Thank goodness

Hang in there.

Beach Bum said...

I nicknamed by boy "Darth Spoilboy" for the same reasons you listed. And he just turns 13 in October, Lord help us all.

Mona said...

sorry G man , I don't agree. They might or might not mature eventually.

Mine hasn't.

Lime, I never did the You might think. Some people who always berate others are also the ones who indulge in self aggrandizement and not in acts of kindness...

Doo Dah said...

I am under the belief that teens just dont get it.

Mine are 15 & 16. Ugh, not a day goes by --I'mma with you and I wanna backhand them. Then they go and do something totally amazing and unselfish, and you gots to wonder,,,,,where'd this kid come from?

You are a great momma, and I am sure there are those days in your life also. :-) They are such a pain in the arse but such blessings.

Recovering Soul said...

sometimes the backhand is the best hand.

barman said...

I have done a lot of learning by using my head to picture something and follow all the way through only in my head, never even doing it (like golf) for real. Maybe you should just use that think system the next time the urge occures. I bet, on occasion, it would feel SO GOOD.

mssolitaire said...

Oy... oh the joys of having teenagers...

HUGS! and Hang in there!

mssolitaire said...

Oy... oh the joys of having teenagers...

HUGS! and Hang in there!

Kathryn said...

So, I should stick with all boys then?

Missy said...

I don't think kids can experience the kind of compassion that truly touches them unless they have endured or loss something of importance to them.

While at seventeen they think their adult and now everything, we as parents still hold the higher card and can take privileges or personal belongings away for a said amount of time. Maybe even do role play and allow the other child to treat her sister the way the sister treated her.

Mom used to do that with us kids, only we had to hold the sibling on our lap and tell them how much we loved them lol...Crud maybe but it worked.

I can tell you this I have all the respect in the world for parents with more than one child. I have only one and sometimes I think I have four, just glad I am not a teen in this day and age.

John-Michael said...

How very, very unfortunate! And such a loss for her in her missing out on the gift of all that her experience could have given her. I am genuinely sad for her (and vexed in the frustration that you and all else in the family) must be feeling.) What a waste!

Blither said...

I am mentally hugging you right now. I've chosen to pick my battles with my 17 year old. I rarely battle with her anymore. I choose the lower road and ignore her bickering.

EmBee said...

I've heard talk of this attitude... It's called, "It's Senior Year and by the end, you're gonna want me outta here... itis."
Good Luck!
:-)

(M)ary said...

ah. i think this is nature's way of making sure that mama bird kicks baby bird out of the nest. the hormonal teenager makes you temporarily forget how sweet she was as a child cuz if she was still as cute and sweet you might never let her fly on her own@

TorAa said...

I could not help, when reading this post, I simply had to make a link from my latest post

soon to be posted

Diesel said...

Is this what they mean when they say kids are resilient? Everything just bounces off of them.

Dorky Dad said...

I was like that when I was 17. And look at me now! A wildly successful, um ...

OK, good luck Lime.

javajazz said...

yikes...is my daughter
living in your house??
hmm, well, i dont think hormones
help, to start with...they seem to
make teenaged girls somewhat
unconscious for a time until
the roar of all that
settles down a tad
in their systems...
i wouldnt bother waiting around
for the magic 18 years or 20 or
whatever is promised to be the age
your kid will suddenly wake up,
perhaps it is more important to
find a way to keep your own sanity
and not let her push your buttons
while she's working her sh*t out...
and maybe, when she's really being
a you know what, just go up to her
and tell her you love her...that'll
totally freak her out.

coopernicus said...

There's always the front door and a hearty "don't let it hit you in the ass on the way out..."

Cheesy said...

Lime... it's the age mostly but this almost always worked for me....

Mimic and repeat anything ugly she says.... Sometimes, just SOMETIMES it causes the light to go on.
Or just back hand her lol.. that works at times too!
She is IMO branching out to find her space in the indepentant world... Inappropriate sure,,, but she is on a learning curve. Just try to help her through it without killing her.

Moosekahl said...

Ahhhh...I remember when I was "that" teen. I hate to say it but mom was right most of those times :)

ciara said...

maybe you need to send her on the mtv show exiled...it's a show were bratty teens (mostly rich) get shipped off to other countries to live like another teen does...most w/o modern conveniences and poor. one went to africa and freaked cuz she was sposed to help make a house out of cow poop.

anyways, don't you just LOVE (said in sarcastic tone)the teen years? my oldest girl is a tween and she's already needing a slap into next wk. come to think of it, my youngest is already needing it, too. :-/

Breazy said...

all I can do is agree with you at this point. It makes me feel better to know that Mr B and I are not the only ones dealing with a selfish teen. Ours is grounded for breaking our trust in her over the weekend.

We can just pray for one another and pray that this phase hurries on by, if not my daughter is going to need not only brain surgery but a set of dentures to replace her permanent teeth I knock out.

Hugs!

citizen of the world said...

I have the boy version in my own home. God help all parents of teens.

BTExpress said...

You all need to turn your back on her until she talks to you in a more respectable way. Ignore her like she doesn't exist unless she communicates in a more civil tone. This is a test of wills. There must be rules!!!!!!!!!!!!!!