What's one thing that would instantly make you dislike a person?
If they began stabbing me.
 What do you do when you need to relax?
Plot the overthrow of Lichtenstein.
 Why do you think there is war in the world?
Because human beings are greedy and violent.
 Do you think it's OK to sometimes tell lies?
Yes, those jeans make your butt look positively elephantine.
What's wrong? You're a completely self-absorbed jackass and one more minute in your presence is more than I can endure right now.
No, I don't want to make one more call nagging the same patient to come in for the 12th time in 2 weeks but I will do it because it's part of my job description (which, by the way, was really very vague when you first gave it to me and admittedly I was too stupid to ask for clarification at that time) and you're the one who signs my checks.
So, if the above responses are the honest ones you tell me if you think it's ok to be somewhat less than forthright.
 Do you like things in life to stay how they are or change?
I like the good things to stay the same and the bad things to change.
 If someone liked you, what would be the best way to let you know?
A simple declarative sentence either verbally or in writing is always effective. A hug would be awesome too.
 What are you listening to right now?
A Dr. Seussian sort of parade marching through my living room playing "Louie Louie" on electric snozzwogglers and tartinkas.
 If you won a lot of money on the lottery, what would you buy first?
Would it be enough to purchase Lichtenstein because that would save me a lot of coup planning and right now I could stand to have that pressure off me.
 Would it change your life?
Well, it would change my address to one in Lichtenstein if it were enough.
 What was the last thing you purchased?
A guy sold me the deed to Krakatoa last week. I have a sinking feeling I got scammed.
 What do you do when you're stressed out?
I like to unwind in a vat of raspberry jello while listening to the dulcet strains of cats being stepped on.
 Would you honestly say you'd risk your life for someone else?
What parent wouldn't?
 Do you believe in Aliens?
Well, since it is capitalized I assume you mean the Ridley Scott film, which was a sequel to Alien. Given that we own a copy of the movie I'd have to say yes, I believe the film exists. Whether or not I find the premise plausible is another matter entirely.
 Could you forgive a boyfriend or girlfriend who physically hurt you?
I forgave him a long time ago. That doesn't mean I was willing to continue or resume the relationship.
 What's your greatest fear in life?
That giant, slimy tentacled thing with fangs that's creeping out from under my desk right now.
 Do you have a best friend?
I'm not really fond of superlatives in this regard. I have friends I'd trust with my joys, my heartaches, and my life. That makes me blessed.
 Are you afraid of death?
The possible timing of it or the pain level associated with it maybe, what's on the other side not so much.
 Do you think parents should stay together for the kids?
It's just that much more to clean up around the house if I start leaving bits and pieces of myself all over the place and really it's hard enough to get them to take their dirty dishes to the sink. Isaac dear, be a love and see if you can find Mom's arm in the couch cushions. Calypso, hon, please don't use my noggin as a bowling ball. I have enough trouble with migraines.
 Can money buy happiness?
Oh I dunno, is happiness a small, affordable nation which would be easier to purchase than to overthrow?
 Are you looking forward to anything?
Well gosh darnit, I just can't wait to log off the computer and get ready for work today! See also #4.