You Shouldn't Have...Really

As a child I would visit my father who was the caretaker of his brother's scenic farm. I've already told you about the cemetery on the hill I enjoyed sitting in. There are other memories as well. My uncle rented the pastures to the dairy farmer whose property adjoined ours. My father raised chickens and pigs. My grandfather had an enormous vegetable patch. Even though I was only a weekly visitor to the farm I had chores there. It was my job to feed and water the pigs and chickens as well as gather the eggs. The pigs I was quite fond of. They were cute and friendly. I'd spend time talking to them and watching them. I was always a bit distressed when it came time to take them to the slaughter house.

The chickens were another matter entirely. As chicks they were adorable but they'd grow up quickly. Then they were dirty, smelly, and stupid. Every time I'd go in to feed and water them they'd peck at me like I was the food. I kind of figured any creature dumb enough to attack me when I was providing for its needs sort of deserved to end up on my plate. When it was time for my grandfather to fetch the hatchet I felt not the least bit of sadness for those birds. I didn't necessarily want to watch the carnage but I was not disturbed by the thought of it. My tears were reserved for the pigs. And yes, I believe I cried over a plate of bacon once.

Going back to the cemetery memories, you may recall me saying how as Halloween approached my visits grew less frequent because I was afraid of its inhabitants rising from the graves to snatch me away. Apparently, it was not the deceased humans I should have been worrying about. As evidenced by the award Cooper has bestowed upon me, the Zombie Chicken Award, it was the poultry I should have feared.

“The blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the zombie chicken - excellence, grace and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words. As a recipient of this world-renowned award, you now have the task of passing it on to at least 5 other worthy bloggers. Do not risk the wrath of the zombie chickens by choosing unwisely or not choosing at all…”

First of all, I had no idea there was any threat from Zombie Chickens. I want to know at what level of threat the Homeland Security Department would classify this. How dire a situation is this? Is deep frying an effective counter-measure?

Secondly, I am not sure if I should be worried that the content of my blog might be considered of such quality that it would distract anyone from their patriotic duty to combat this plague. Well, I've been told I am just a wee smidge subversive but really, I am a bit worried that my drivel could contribute to an ineffective response to the zombie chicken plague. Seriously, I am in a panic about this! I don't know what to do! I am running around like.....uh, um, er...a chicken with its head cut off.

Nextly, I think the dangling eyeball in the picture is a really nice touch. I find the artistry is all in the details like this. It punctuates the ghastly green tone perfectly.

Now, lest I tempt the zombie chickens I've got to pass this thing on to at least 5 people.

Zombieslayer is a no brainer. Wait, that came out wrong. He has a brain...quite a good one in fact...which would be why I am giving him this award. I mean he is devoted to getting us through the zombie plague that is coming so it just seems natural he should get this....or unnatural, since zombies are kind of unnatural and he wants us to defeat them but this award is for distracting us from the plague. Well, I dunno, now I am all confused. He's getting it anyway.

Suldog gets it too because some of the stuff he has posted makes me think the zombie chickens already got him. Oh yeah, he mercilessly shreds any award bestowed upon him. This one though, I think there is a chance he might actually like it. I just want to see what he does. But really, if anyone could make us laugh through the attack of the zombie chickens it will be him.

Mona has already survived the vampiric zombie prairie dogs, if you recall my grand movie meme post, so I think she'll do just fine once the chickens attack.

Fadkog is a recent discovery of mine. She seems at least as warped as I am. Gees, I hope she knows that's a compliment. Really...it is, I swear...well, on the blog I don't swear too much because I don't want to offend. But when those zombie chickens attack all bets are off. If ever harsh language is called for I think a zombie plague is it. But I digress, Fadkog is someone I'd stomp a few undead chickens to read.

VE is the final recipient. I am sure he'd find a way to blog ABOUT the zombie chickens and make it entertaining. He'd come up with a poll or some bizarre picture or a Weekly World News type report on them. Bat Boy Joins Forces with Zombie Chickens or some such sounds like the type of headline he'd generate.

Ok, now that my civil duty of proliferating this insanity is complete my next big question is deciding if the zombie chickens go better with Tex-Mex barbecue sauce or Jamaican jerk rub.